The Role of a Leader

I have a very insignificant job, very unenlightening, and very outside the realm of any real influence in the world. However, it, like any other position in any other occupation, has its own culture and its own world of devotees.

I am a field manager for the company I work with, meaning that I run one of the retail locations that it operates. I'm the boss. I'm the guy people talk about when they're alone, and the guy people all try to be good friends with. I'm the guy that gets to solve the world's problems by taking care of business in my own little sphere of influence.

I've noticed a slight change in attitude in myself as I've grown more comfortable with my position. At first, I was a real go-getter - no one would stop me from being the best, most reliable, most dedicated, highest grossing nobody that company would ever see. And I succeeded in making a good image around me, though I may have fell short of my rather ambitious goals above. But I was always engaged, not caring who I ran over or pushed out of the way to get where I was going. After all, I had to be the best because I wanted to raise a family some day. I wanted to make the money.

Now, my attitude has evolved. I'm still in it for the support of my family - they are almost solely the reason I work so hard now. But there is another aspect of my job that has grown on me, and has caused me to reach within myself and strive to not only work hard, but to make myself an example for others.

I enjoy being a leader. Not just a manager, or a boss - but a leader. There are those, for whatever reason, who actually look up to me. There are those who actually listen to my opinions and emulate them. There are those that look to me as though I have all the answers, and I feel ashamed if I let them down. I actually care that these people see me as the go-to guy. I refer to them often as "my guys", as opposed to "my employees" or my "coworkers". The team that I've built is an important aspect and reflection of myself. "My guys" help define who I am in this alternative universe of Joe that I refer to as "work".

Many people see their boss as someone they have to be weary or suspicious around. There's always a negative connotation when people speak of their bosses. But with me, I honestly feel there's a different connection. There's a trust, a team effort, and the things I see people do I actually feel that they do them so that I'll look good, not them. There seems to be an almost symbiotic relationship that we all share.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there's a few bad apples in the bunch. No one is 100% popular.

However, I feel that this newly realized attitude towards my position at my job helps to even further define my role outside of my work life. At work, I'm father-figure, therapist, referee, goalie, cheerleader, bouncer, and protector. At home, with friends, I feel that I am the same - and I believe those lessons have been learned through my job.

I enjoy my job because of the people that I'm around. It's not the drive for personal success that keeps me going at the job now. It's the drive to show that others can be just as successful. I enjoy my work, because I feel that I have lessons that I can teach others to help them succeed. The benefits of those feelings, the feelings that I can actually do good for other people, far outweigh the feelings of individual accomplishment.

Dear Abba

Dear Abba,

Hello, Father. I realize it's been a while since we last spoke, but I hope you don't think that's because I haven't wanted to. I've been tied up lately with the family, my job, and a new area.

I've thought about you from time to time, but I've been thinking a lot about you lately. I can't seem to get you out of my mind now, but I'm really not trying to. I'd like to pick our relationship back up again, but with so much time apart, I feel that I have to re-learn who you are. I hope this doesn't offend you, as this is not my intent. But with so much time separating us, I feel I have no other choice.

I realize this could be a little hard to accept, with me just trying to walk back into your life. But this has been the nature of our relationship for as long as I can remember. I'd walk out on a limb, start to fall, and ask for your help. It's almost as if you've reminded me that I don't always keep up my end of the bargain in this relationship. And I really hate feeling like the only time we talk is when I need something from you. I'm concerned that you might feel that all I am is a taker, when it's really the furthest thing from the truth. I've tried, at certain times, to make you proud of me and what I've become. I hope the culmination of who I am now is someone that you can feel proud of.

So, it is with great desire that I express to you that I'd like a renewed relationship with you. I'd like to feel your love more as a result of the time spent with you, as opposed to obligations that you've made by helping me through every trial and tribulation in my life. I will still need your help from time to time - I don't see a point in the future where that will not be the case. But I don't intend on making that the sole reason for my relationship with you. I'd like to be a beacon of light that radiates to others so that they may see: I love you as well.

I appreciate everything you've ever done for me, and everything you will do for me in the future. I only hope I can reciprocate and do things, positive things, for you as well. I understand that it takes two for any relationship to last.

So let this be a renewed vow. I promise to re-engage. I promise to make time for you. I promise to hold you close to my heart. I promise to recognize the moral lessons that you've taught me. I promise to love you. I promise to not take advantage of you, or take you for granted. And I promise to never forget that you love me too.


With Love,
Joe

"I find myself really at a loss. Can't seem to control the things going on around me."

"I want to escape."

"It's a feeling of home-sickness. I can't seem to be happy as I once was, not as a result of anything that anyone or anything has done to me, but more as a result of feeling burnt out."

"I want to be at peace. Life itself seems to be pushing me around, and instead of feeling in this world, I feel like this world is in me."

"I'd like to be able to move with the wind. There is a longing for the answer to a secret that I can't figure out. There seems to be something on the tip of my tongue, I just can't find the words."

"I know something is wrong here. I know it. But I can't tell what it is. I just want to break free."

Sound familiar?

Here's some words of encouragement:

This is always the first step. Good things come to those who SEEK, not to those that wait. Chin up, mi amigos.

Mysterious Ways

So, I'm laying in bed, face down with my arm draped off the side.

Thinking my thoughts towards God, I say "Father, I'd love to feel you."

The next thought that enters my head is "then feel me."

And with that, I feel my dog's wet nose against my bear shoulder.

Coincidence? I think not.

My Heart Cries...

I abhor violence. I tend to look the other way when I am threatened. I tend to question how people can get so involved in conflict that the value of human life and well-being is diminished. I've seen people - reasonable, intelligent people - turn into ravaging maniacs because of anger, hatred, and bigotry.

I've seen the world fight wars. I've seen how conflicts around the globe spark bigger conflicts, and how compromises turn into demands. I've seen moderation stamped out by intolerance, and activism drowned by ignorance.

And so it continues. Our world fights with itself. Every war we fight is another civil war - humans fight humans; spirits fight spirits. There is no "us" and "them" - and people are often confused by that. The boundary lines we inhabit might determine the freedoms and prosperities we might receive, or decide your fate for you before you get a chance to breathe. Nothing is certain, anywhere you live.

But we fight with ourselves again. The current world: Iraq? If the in-fighting would just cease, if people would just embrace their society instead of trying to destroy it, the "occupation" would end, and the struggle for freedom would begin with new friends. The fighting has to stop.

Palestine elected terrorists to govern, and they got terrorism in their government. They have been engulfed in civil war, and it can only stop when people decide to make it stop. Hamas was elected to power not to govern Palestine, but to express discontent with Israel. Again, the hatred brews and the results have come from it: death, destruction, war. The fighting has to stop.

Darfur has mass genocide. People are routinely, systematically raped. People die because they are of a different skin type. Mass, horrific, fighting. Blood, war, death; the fighting has to stop.

Here at home, I pride myself for the good fortune I have been lucky enough to be awarded. But I recognize the problems. The two party system of government, coupled with an ever-increasing lame duck president, continue to display their own impotence to help solve these world problems. We've been immersed in our own failures, and every good intention is drowned by critics from past mistakes. Republican and Democrat fight to appear to have a better image, when the world fights wars. Politics over leadership. Who can make the other look worse, instead of how can we help each other. Squabbling over no-confidence votes and non-binding resolutions, when people fight wars both at home and abroad. People fight. The fighting has to stop.

I believe military intervention can bring peace, and it is necessary in many situations. But the constant fighting has to stop. All we do is run around in a great circle of fighting; never ending, ceaseless fighting.

People die, needlessly, every day - proving our own ineffectiveness to coexist. We are all apart of the same sea - surely one day the ocean will stop trying to divide itself.

Prejudice

It's remarkable to me how people shape their opinions on things without even having any personal experience with it. I saw on the news yesterday that there were these two women who were ranting about the horrible spread of Harry Potter. There was, of course, a children's psychiatrist on the program to debate the duo, who seemingly attacked the Harry Potter story because they viewed it as being harmful to kids.

How?

Because - according to them - it promotes witchcraft to children. When the host and the psychiatrist both responded by saying that it pits good guys against bad guys, it has endearing messages of love and kindness, and yadda yadda yadda, one of the ladies made the following assertion: she claims that it glorifies white magic, and demonizes black magic, but in reality, all magic is evil.

Now...why would she say something like this? Stereotype.

What they were actually trying to do here is just demonize witchcraft, as if it's some kind of religion in and of itself. Magic (magick, whatever) is a tool used in certain religious ceremonies as a tool for further endowment of experience. It's akin to the sacraments that we've seen used in the Christian tradition. Magick doesn't *do* anything of itself, but it creates a movement in the person's mind to go forward with events that help them achieve their own particular ease...in order to experience further the divine touch.

I fear I will find my self lost in my own words.

My astonishment, however, was with these women. They are SO not alone with the bigotry. And why do they feel this way about "witchcraft"? I would presume, having not known these ladies, that they have been raised with such notions that this particular belief structure is "evil." It's a grandfathered prejudice which cultivates through ignorance.

When there is time, we should always examine our prejudices of ideas. Why is it we feel the way we do about things? Is it because we KNOW them to be bad or good, or because that's what we've been told? Do the ideas that present such a bad impression really represent the idea itself?

We should never limit ourselves to our preconceived notions. Try not to form an opinion unless you have really educated yourself on both sides of a debate. There are always two sides to every coin.

The Power Of Symbolism

Earlier this morning, when I was getting ready for work, I found a jewelry box in my computer room that had a bunch of scrap jewelry that had been put aside for special occasions (such as rings and old necklaces). In it, I happened to find my necklace charm, a silver Templar cross. I could refer to it as a Gnostic cross, because that's its symbolism for me.

The original reason I put it away was because the loop that holds it on my necklace kept breaking, but this time, I stuck it in my pocket and carried it with me to work. Later in the day, I took the time to put it back together, and strap it on my neck. It made me feel good.

It's not the cross itself that has magical powers to change my mood. It's the representation of what the cross means to me. When I wear it, it makes me remember who I am, where I have gone, where I'm going, and what I'm hear for. In short, I've attached a memory of my core person onto this symbol - making it special to me.

This is what we do when we carry charms, crosses, pendants, and all sorts of religious-type items. It is through this method we remind ourselves that there are other things going on in our life besides the traffic, the dog chewing up the furniture, the jerk at work, and the war in Iraq. It's through this method that we remember what we believe, and what we feel when we seek the Divine.

Some confuse the idea of carrying a symbol as meaning we substitute the object for the truth. Couldn't be further from the truth. You don't pray to your cross, nor do you expect it to turn into an incarnation of an angel. Rather, we focus our strength on the object, which gives us a pendulum to harness our thoughts - it channels our emotive process to make our thoughts and words reach the destination: Divine attention.

Never be ashamed of such a noble intention. Rather, make aware the usefulness of such a tool.

Gnosis: Attack of the Conscience

It is thus: when one feels the experience of gnosis, it is an overwhelming sense of joy, love, confusion, and triumph. And with it, when one returns to our lively, coffee-driven, baby goo world, we find ourselves immersed in the same old junk we were before: life's problems.

However, the big difference is not the way life comes at you; the big change in life is how you get back with reality. There is a shift in consciousness; a change in course; a new direction for your responses to flow. It's clarity. We can question even the most basic of moral rules to a fault, and actually understand that sometimes even what's considered "right" can actually be wrong. This is the stage where your conscience is pounding in your head. You've awoke the sleeping giant.

No more can you sit idly by and float through the primordial ooze. No more can you see harm being done to others, or sit and watch another do harm to themselves. No more can you bear witness to injustice and turn the blind eye. It doesn't make you superman to be this aware - just makes you superconscious.

Even the smallest life has meaning: I've noted before that my wife gets very irritated when I argue with her about killing the spider running across the floor. And you know you've got issues when you say a prayer for a fruit fly.

But these are the examples of the underlying resonance within each of us. There is a sleeping spark within that opens our eyes to the wonderful and beautiful creations throughout reality. We see that there is not so much black and white in the world: it's all confused, collapsing in on itself.

But the glimmer of hope is within us all. The bond between the saint and the sinner is unnoticeable, but unbreakable. We are all life - and that life's purpose is to recognize it and respect it .

Gnosis is the freedom you are longing for.

The Meaning Of Life

I will take this moment to gloat about the beauty of my son. Isn't he cute? ;-)

I have found no other purpose in life as satisfying as watching my child smile at me.

Time As An Archon

Time is nothing but the gauge that we use in order to judge the "distance" between two events. Time has no meaning, outside of our limited understanding of its relationship to the universe. If there were no cycles, no births, and no deaths, time would be utterly non-existent.

It is by this time frame that we fashion our lives. We live the moments of our youth as if they were infinite, and as our understanding of the limits of time increases, our daily devotion to it increases. We plan our day, our schedules, our meals - our entire way of life is based upon the moments that we use and have left throughout life.

But how realistic is this? Examine.

There is no difference between this moment and the last, other than the molecules of the universe have shifted into different positions. There is no "age" - it does not exist. Things are ever shifting, evolving, mutating, and transforming into different shapes, sizes, forms, and substances. Your body is never the same, materially, from one moment to the next. Neither is the universe.

Don't misunderstand me. I make no plans to miss my scheduled work time, or feeding time for my baby. But what I want to address here is the worship of "time" as an entity - an archon. This "ruler" controls the very fabric of our existence, and blocks gnosis at every corner.

Much despair and grief arises from our worship of time. We fear the day that our body is no longer animate, or one of our loved ones in no longer with us. Those who have faith pray that they can greet the "after-life" with the concept that they view the most appealing. Some choose to put a time frame on the existence of the planet, the sun, and the universe.

Time is no more than an illusion. There is no past, just as there is no future. Every event that has ever occurred has occurred right now, this time, present - we just gauge the time appropriately to fit into our ideas of the sequences of events. The same goes true for the death of the body. People fear this time the most, because it is the least understood.

Once the concept of time can be overcome, you can allow your mind to rest openly. Understand that the time we fear is not going to be some distant date, but it is right now - just as your birth. How many events happen between this event and the next? Who knows? This is unimportant. When we can grasp this concept of "now," and shed the concept of time, we can start to embrace the present.

Feel the touch of the now. Hear the sounds that flow. Live the breath that you breathe. Sense the emotion that overcomes you. Know that the "death" that you feel is an illusion as well, because it is just a transformation of substances. The spirit, the energy, the consciousness - these timeless functions of existence will continue.

Learn to release time. It's a heavy burden to bear, one that can constrict the pursuit of gnosis. Focus on the "now", and you can find a way to see into the infinite.

You're Almost There...Don't Go Now...

Anytime you start to try something new, it can be exciting and challenging. Especially when, at first, everything seems to be a great combination with your spirit.

This is contemporary Gnosticism. Many are attracted to its elements because the word is used so much by so many people. This is another reason it's entirely difficult to ground down an exact definition and outline for modern Gnosticism. Many people are attracted to it from different sources - notably those who have actually misused the word Gnosticism when representing themselves.

One of the scary things about entering into something new is that when it's not exactly what you were expecting, we retreat. I've seen many people who are attracted to Gnosticism because they've heard of Sylvia Browne or Samual Woer using the word to describe their particual set of beliefs. Once they learn how laughable their brand really is compared to true contemporary Gnosticism, they retreat back into their "safe zone," for fear that they have absolutely no idea what is going on - like they will be judged for being crazy.

This should never be the case. I was actually initially attracted to Gnosticism through Sylvia Browne's words, which was my direct quest to seek a higher knowledge of the Divine. As I explored the religion further, I realized (a) how different it really was from what Sylvia said it was, and (b) how in love with it I really was.

Many don't initially understand the many layers of interpretation that follow through the myths and allegories of Gnostic folklore. And trust me, there are plenty of places on the web and through scholarship that claim all sorts of obscene things about the Gnostic religion and its practices, but at the core root of it, there are all these different routes the knowledge can and does go. It is more broad than people have ever really given it credit for, and I think that's a travesty.

Gnosticism is more than a religion with a set of beliefs. It's more than a liturgy. It's more than the myths that they use to teach. It's more than the word itself.

It's not UFO worship, or some sex cult, or some occultic pagan group of Satan worshippers. It's figurehead is not some psychic lady that can tell you what your grandmother is doing in Heaven.

It IS the active, consistant approach to seeking out gnosis, and using that particular experience by applying it to life. The gnosis is what frees us.

All else is conjecture, and should not taint the purity of gnosis.

The Lamb

THE LAMB

Little Lamb, who made thee
Dost thou know who made thee,
Gave thee life,
and bid thee feed

By the stream and o'er the mead;
Gave thee clothing of delight,
Softest clothing, woolly, bright;
Gave thee such a tender voice,
Making all the vales rejoice?

Little Lamb, who made thee?
Dost thou know who made thee?
Little Lamb, I'll tell thee;
Little Lamb, I'll tell thee:

He is called by thy name,
For He calls Himself a Lamb
He is meek, and He is mild,
He became a little child.

I a child, and thou a lamb,
We are called by His name.
Little Lamb, God bless thee!
Little Lamb, God bless thee!

(William Blake)

Gnosis of the Child

Life as I know it is different now.

My new baby boy has brought so many new - maybe not new, but more enhanced - emotions and feelings into my atmosphere as of late. I never knew that I could love some other person quite as much as I do; an even deeper love than I feel for even my wife (though I couldn't measure that love if I tried).

Through the sleepless nights thus far (and the many to come), I realize that I don't take care of this little guy because I have to, but rather, because I feel impelled to. I feel no sense of "obligation" per se, but a more dignified sense of "want" as I watch my son scream his head off; I want to take care of him, to nurture him, and to raise him. And the scary part is that he's only a couple of weeks old.

I have to admit that there is a certain amount of uncertainty, an uneasy feeling that I don't know how well I'll do in raising this child, or even knowing how many mistakes I'll make (and I am quite sure I'll make more than a few mistakes). But these concerns are far outweighed by the buildup of pride I have for this beautiful child, my adoring son.

These feelings have left me to wander the halls of my thoughts, as of late. The love that I feel - through no force - for him almost seems to mirror to me a spiritual resonance. If I can love this child whom I've only held in my arms for two weeks now as much as I do, how much more so can the Divine share His love with the creation that has formed from His own love?

I feel a close connection in three ways right now, as I feel that I'm on the brink of an epiphany. I strongly feel my late father's love for me, through either my memories or a fine resonance that's left of him. I strongly feel the same protective love for my son that I felt from my dad - never being scared when I was around him (and hoping my son never feels scared around me). And these two, coupled, enhance the emotive waves I have felt with the Divine - hopefully, opening my own consciousness to newer spiritual levels.

The birth of my son has brought me here, to this path.. I only hope I can teach him to seek his path, and more than that - how to walk that path.

The Day That Changed My Life

January 25, 2007 - 5:57 p.m.

Joshua Nathaniel Daher

I never could have imagined he'd be so beautiful.

Is It Wrong To Eat Meat? Part 2

For the first part, please read here.

Relatively speaking, meat eating itself is not in question here. There are obvious risks associated with eating too much meat, and advantages of eating at least SOME meat. Besides the obvious, the animal in question is usually dead and doesn't feel ANYTHING.

The issue, instead, seems to be the inhumane treatment of animals that are bred for meat processing and the like. Brother Shawn Johnston has a very interesting post on this topic over at his blog site here.

Confronted with these harsh realities, I can of course only go on the evidence in hand and conclude that these animals are treated rather savagely. I offer no form of excuse or defense for the types of behavior that some of these meat manufacturers institute in their business, and I am offended that there are not better rules and regulations in place to help better safeguard these kinds of atrocities.

That being said, I'd like you to take a minute now and examine the things we do on a daily basis that has just as bad if not worse treatment for life. I'd like to put things in perspective.

• Should we stop mowing our lawns? I can only imagine the grass screaming as a plague of moving mechanical parts comes to mutilate scores of fellow specimens.
• Should we not bathe? The numbers that die in these forms of disinfection and contamination are incalculable, much less appetizing.
• Should we cease to partake in eating fruits and vegetables? We know beyond a doubt that these plants are living creatures, and they are very possibly much more complex organisms than originally suggested.
• Forget bathing, just stop cleaning altogether. The micro bacteria that exist are apart of an ecosystem that we obviously have no right putting to an end.
• Should we also set up some form of punishment for those animals that eat meat? Obviously, they are not as advanced as we humans, but I believe I've seen some gruesome and terrible things on the Discovery Channel, and I cannot sit by idly and watch these crimes against nature occur.

Okay, okay, I'll admit. This was probably a wee bit exaggerated. No harm was intended by my sarcasm, and I hope none is taken. But I do insist that we view this as a normal process of nature.

Not all butchers and meat processors are heartless scum. They don't exist solely to extract life - but to extract food. We should DEFINITELY punish those who are found to be heartlessly cruel to the animals in which they harbor, but a boycott on the meat industry altogether is equally unjust, and impossible.

Which brings me back to my original point: naturally speaking, of course, meat intake is going to be existent amongst life forms. It is definitely natural to assume that is a part of the natural course for human consumption.

Jesus: To Be Or Not To Be

I guess this is a long time coming, because I feel compelled to write about it.

I've noticed in many, many places that are gnostic-oriented that the existence of a physical Jesus is hotly debated, and more times than not, usually considered to be false. While all of these forums allow you a freedom to believe whichever you're most comfortable with, it feels like the "endorsed" message is that there was no physical Jesus.

Let me say: this post is not intended to debate the existence of Jesus.

I'm feeling a growing concern, however, that this message is being used far too much to be of any effectiveness. I stand behind and encourage creative thought and exploration, and this is certainly a subject that is both valid and neccesary to pursue in order to find roots and meanings behind esoteric messages and myths. But the Jesus myth as it exists today is an important bridge for those entering into a more spiritual form of Christianity: Gnositicism.

I caution those that are so quick to extend their opinions on the existence of a physical Jesus, because I believe it is out of personal spite that this subject is usually explored; a way to rebel against the establishment - the big "THEM" that is already called "Christianity."

I have always viewed Gnosticism as a very esoteric, meaningful, spiritual, and unique part of a movement that has often been called "Christianity" (though there are differences). Many people who seem to "cuddle" with Gnosticism can do so because it allows them the luxury of exploring their deeper spiritual needs, and yet not abandon completely the childhood religion that they've grown up with. To this end, the importance of having a common tie between the two is very defined. The myth of Jesus is an important bridge for people to cross from the Christianity of old into Gnosticism.

For the gnostic, I believe it would be very detrimental to the movement to automatically discount the existence of a physical Jesus because it would thereby sever the tie with the curious Christian, and perhaps might make that particular seeker retreat back into his/her own particular form of error. The thought of "no Jesus" for someone trying to pursue an esoteric religion that they have little knowledge of might just be enough for someone who has grown around the idea of a physical Jesus to take two steps back from their own spiritual progress.

In no way do I dispute that this is a valid topic to bring to people's attention, and we should always explore the route to knowledge wherever that leads us. But we must also, as gnostics, understand that accepting a defined "position" on this particular subject could not only hurt the growth and developement of the gnostic movement, but it can also affect the seeker that is on the path to their own particular gnosis. Too many times have I seen those in a "priestly" role outright declare that there "is no physical Jesus" because of a lack of physical evidence. This is a position that, in my opinion, should be avoided if one is honor-bound to assist the spiritual seeker attain gnosis.

Jesus has become an icon in the spiritual world. One can believe in a physical, spiritual, mythological, or allegorical Jesus; but one must conclude that none of these can be advertised exclusively be a body of spiritual seekers on a quest to expand both our minds and the minds of those willing to listen.

Besides, I hear Jesus was a cool guy.

Face Your Fears - Death

Something I've done a lot of contemplating on lately.

What I've found is that the deepest form of fear inevitably comes from one's unique uncomfortableness with death. I've suffered from this affliction, as I'm sure the vast majority of those reading have as well. If it's not death itself, it's what it will be preceded by - in other words, how it's going to happen.

Beyond that, there's usually a question of uncertainty. What happens after?

Harder question to answer than one might suspect, even for the most religious people. Once you dissect the form or brand of whatever particular version of religion you desire, you're left with little else but your own thoughts. You can picture the circumstances that will surround your death, but there's still a slight hint of unease. If you're not careful, this feeling can turn to dread, then fear, and then it can consume you. Very, very unhealthy - and not very productive either.

"When one dreams a dream, one does not know that it's not real until they wake. How, then, do we know that death is not the greatest pleasure?" - Kung Fu, TV Series

We, as religionists (not a priest anytime soon), attempt to diagram, study, explain, and delve deeper into the unknown - not for other people's sake, but for our own. Initially, the goal is completely selfish. There is a knowledge that exists that can help us determine exactly what happens to our consciouness at the moment of death - and we all yearn for this knowledge. It is the entire reason our species seeks out and explores the possibilities of the universe.

This knowledge is like the Fountain of Youth, a never-ending specticle of immortality. Which is, after all, the goal. We seek answers about our mortality in the hopes that we can discover that we are actually immortal, and that we can cheat death. But it is not "death" that people fear, per se, but rather the end of their own existence. The knowledge that is yearned for is just a comfort blanket, if you will - sort of a reassurance that everything will work out in the end.

Then we must gauge ourselves accordingly. Realize that "time" is merely static - invented by man in order to establish a way to gauge a sequence of events. "Time" is merely a means to an end, and we have focused our entire existence on surveying time. Clocks, watches, fast-food, instant coffee - all forms and brands designed specifically to feed off the idea that we are losing time. The fear technique is tapped in order to establish our own end - that our physical selves are running out of time, so make the most of it while you can.

But this is rediculous. Since time is really static, and all we observe are sequences of events, then we have always and will always live in the present - never NOT existing. There is no past, there is no future - as you read this passage, you are merely keeping track of the seconds and the missing time of your life based on the starting point of this paragraph and the ending punctuation. When you finish, nothing has changed except for the balance of atoms in existence and their particular place in reality. "Time" has not moved.

And so we must conclude, that at the moment of death, the physical life that we live is only changed, since the energy and mass of our selves are still extant. There is no life left in this shell, but according to physics, the energy can't just disappear. It has to exist somewhere.

In what capacity? That's an entirely different topic. But there is a knowledge that can lead us to these answers. The knowledge is there, almost as if it was placed there intentionally. This knowledge, friends, is called gnosis.

Reproduction: The Biggest Small Miracle

As I move closer to my wife's due date (Feb. 5), the realization of my upcoming fatherhood is growing more and more apparent. I'm not quite used to the idea yet, and it's still not exactly concrete, but I feel its grasp around my collar. I'm about to be a father.

This has me thinking and reflecting about life and the entire birthing process. I've had to mull over so many pregnancy books and pamphlets (my wife accuses me of not reading enough pregnancy books and too many religious books) that I've almost been drowned in the process of the moment. However, there is no real metaphysical explanations that I've encountered that have peaked my interest.

I can only assume this is the trueness to reality. Not that reality revolves around birth, but that the birth of man is the most realistic touch to this plane of existence. Its true reality actually is amazing: a life actually connected in a symbiotic manner to another life, merged together for the few months that it is grown within. The material beginning of this process is, of course, enjoyable...however, the end results fascinate me so much more.

From two single cells a life is born. Spirit is fused with matter through an inital transmutation, then growth takes over. A merge of cells creates the building blocks of an entire entity - capable of thought, feeling, and spiritual inquiry.

I can only guess the root causes behind such a spiritual mechanism. Our Gnostic texts tell us great stories and myths of how the Divine fell into the physical, but when applying these ideas to an individual, the task is a little bit more broad. It is the spirit that I hope this child succumbs to, not my religious ideas. I very much hope he can take on the kind of thought that can give birth to his own gnosis, within his own mind.

I realize, though, that the life I bring into this world will be molded from my existence. I will hope to imprint a certain set of moral values onto him that he can carry with him his entire life. I have thoughts at this moment of my late father, and the love (and many, many fights) we shared while growing up. He never wavered from his position, and no matter how wrong I thought he was, I know that everything he did and said was to prepare me for my life, my quest, and my path. I can only hope to be half as good a father towards my son.

This birth process can easily be confused for the miracle that IS birth. It's too easy to be caught up in the mechanics of the moment, but I must not forget this experience. I feel it's overpowering joy entering my house.

I feel anxious. I can't wait.

Perhaps...

Perhaps this blog is the work of a mad man.

Perhaps these articles are the musings of a lunatic.

Perhaps these ideas are the dreams of men who never saw sanity, driven by their own desire to know themselves.

Perhaps these are the latest steps in a constant process of evolution, slowly drawing the minds of those connected into a state of blissful insanity.

Perhaps I've been coerced by an ideology that is entrancing, mind-warping, and addicting.

Perhaps I don't know what I think I know.

Perhaps I never knew, and I still don't.

Perhaps no one else knows what I long to know.

Perhaps there is nothing to know.

Perhaps there is a winding road we all travel, born to walk this path, driven to finish, powerless when we have taken our last step.

Perhaps this life is truly amazing.

Perhaps life is meant to be a mystery forever.

Perhaps that IS the mystery.

Perhaps we've all got it wrong.

Perhaps we've all got it right.

Perhaps there's two sides to every coin.

Perhaps there is intent behind this creation.

Perhaps there is a mind behind that intent.

Perhaps we are all apart of that mind.

Perhaps we all have a part in that mind.

Perhaps we are that mind.

Perhaps when we know that mind, we can truly be blissful.

Perhaps that's what makes us all crazy.

Perhaps...that's gnosis.

Death Brings No Peace

Saddam Hussein

April 28, 1937 - December 30, 2006

When I was younger, and the Gulf War dominated the news, it seemed to me that all the world was against Saddam. Of course, this wasn't the case, but it sure was propagandized as such to me - in Elementary school.

I used to wonder why my government never did anything to Saddam, and why he was still in power. Why don't we, I thought, send someone to kill Saddam? I was raised, actually, to grow into hating that dictator. I've since learned to deal with these childhood impressions, and my feelings on this situation have greatly been effected.

Now that he's been executed, my heart weeps. Not because he was a good person, or a good leader. He was clearly neither of these. But because this was yet another lost soul, fueled by hate - so far from the Divine.

If only I could help. I mourn for his spirit. I can only hope his spirit finds peace.

The Best Picture...

Joshua Nathaniel Daher

Coming Soon: Due February 5, 2007

This is beyond words...

Prayer For Peace

Oh, Holy Wisdom
Guide us through these horrible times.
Keep us in your thoughts,
And help us keep you in our hearts.

Oh, Holy Mind,
Reach us through our gnosis,
Waken us with your touch,
Release us from our egos.

Allow our Christ to awaken,
Embolden our yearns for peace.
Shed your love on our spirits,
So that we may shed our love on each other.

Oh, Holy God,
Allow us to see our own faults,
Blind us to each other's differences,
And help us break the grip of war.

End the fighting.
Stop the oppression.
Bring peace on Earth
And brotherhood towards all men.

Amen.

Playing Dominos: Cause and Effect

Okay, so we know the rule: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

This is interesting to me.

I know this is all "scientific" and sort of strays from the idea that a Creator-guy up in the sky has control of everything happening in the Universe, but that's okay...I'm a rebel.

This notion passed through my mind actually at a weird point in my life - when I was beginning to question whether or not my beliefs made any sense, or whether I was just sucking something up that "sounded good." I was questioning the idea that there was a creator that created EVERYTHING. I let my emotions take control, and started feeling an intense amount of doubt and anxiety. What a rediculous idea. But then I thought about something.

The idea came: cause and effect.

Have you ever lined up a stack of dominos, and then just knocked one over? It's so fun to see how everything falls; how each piece touches another, and effects the next piece. It's interesting to see how elaborate you can make the rows that branch off and make more rows fall over. Sure, the eventual outcome is known from the start. But it's the process that captures you. It's how everything falls into place, and how beautiful it is when it happens.

I thought the same when I was captured by this anxiety. Why would God even create? Here's your reason: all the pieces are lined up. The outcome is known. All the atoms and molecules are made and placed specifically in a tight, wound-up ball at the beginning of the universe - the beginning of time. So what happens? One domino is knocked over.

The meaning of existence, therefore, seems to be to act as a domino. To participate in the entire picture, to play a vital role, and to be a work of beauty and entertainment in the entire game of existence.

All the routes and revenues have been lined up. The outcome is known. The game seems pointless, I know - but it's so beautiful to see everything work out.

If we can feel that way about dominos, how much more the Divine must feel about life!

Wake yourself up, experience your gnosis - feel what it is to be apart of such a great experiment.

Divine Image

To Mercy, Pity, Peace, and Love,
All pray in their distress,
And to these virtues of delight
Return their thankfulness.

For Mercy, Pity, Peace, and Love,
Is God our Father dear;
And Mercy, Pity, Peace, and Love,
Is man, his child and care.

For Mercy has a human heart
Pity, a human face;
And Love, the human form divine;
And Peace, the human dress.

Then every man, of every clime,
That prays in his distress,
Prays to the human form divine:
Love, Mercy, Pity, Peace.

And all must love the human form,
In heathen, Turk, or Jew.
Where Mercy, Love, and Pity dwell,
There God is dwelling too.

[Divine Image, William Blake]

Marketing Religion

I'm not reall keen on this topic, but it's been bothering me lately.

I visited a church where a friend of my wife's is going to have a baby shower in the next month or so. The church (which will remain nameless) was absolutely huge, consisting of at least three "main" parts, and a radius that you can only get around if you have a vehicle.

Inside, the church had a gym (with about 8 different basketball goals), aerobics centers, 3 raquet ball courts, a music hall, prayer rooms, a snack area, a bookstore, and on and on and on. You name it, I'm sure you could find it somewhere in that building. I spent a little while just walking around; observing.

After a while, I returned to the group and was informed that we were going to be eating dinner at the church. This seemed a little strange, mind you, because I wasn't used to a church having a lunch room.

After getting into "the mess hall" (as I kept calling it in my head), I found that I had to pay to eat, which was a little surprising because all the other options at the church were free. I didn't see a problem with it, however, because I realize money is still an issue in some places (staff salary and whatnot).

As I was eating, I noticed all the different projection instruments hanging from the ceiling displaying class and study times for discussing (or just listening to a minister) different topics of religious revelance. It kind of set me off a bit.

I don't know what it was, exactly, but I began feeling a little distanced from this place. I started realizing some pretty dishonorable things. At first, I thought all these snack centers and bookstores and lunch halls were an effort to raise money (which they probably are, to some extent) for church purposes. But the church purposes that I have come to value didn't seem to match this church's. Whereas I would think this money they raise would go towards charity and community, I saw highly expensive projection equipment haning around a lunch room trying to promote "end times" classes. I saw expensive music equipment. I saw clean up crews. I saw neatly trimmed grass and bushes outside. I saw glamour, and I saw no charity.

I'm sure I've over looked some of the positive things this church has done for community. But in this case, I believe the negative has outweighed the positive. I've always looked at church as a place to worship, celebrate the Divine relationship with mankind, and think about the spirit. This place, however, seemed like a shallow marketplace.

I think my mistrust comes from a feeling of corruption. When I see a gigantic place like this, and start figuring all the costs that accumulate through expanding into these different areas, I think of all the money that it has to generate. My immediate question is: what if they can't get the money?

I have a hard time thinking that this question doesn't cross someone's mind in the institution, as well. And this opens up the institution to corruption. How can we keep them coming back? They rely on the money to stay "in business," and when this happens, the message (the entire reason for coming) gets lost in a sea of forgetfullness.


And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves,
And Jesus said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.

Matthew 21:12-13
KJV

The Problem With Labels

We search for our identity.

That's a fact of life. We seek to learn about ourselves - why and how we are the way we are - and this is the ultimate goal for everyone (or at least it should be).

That identity can be sought outside of ourselves, and shaped by ideologies on the outside of our being. The true identity is always inside, the Christ within each of us - whether we look for it or not.

You will probably see that no matter how different we are on the outside, our center-self is virtually identical to each other - like knots on a rope. It's a connection to that center that is called "gnosis."

On the outside, however, things are not so easy. We struggle to identify with society, the lesser self - the PUBLIC self (it was called "the mob" in Rome...go figure). The self is then bent and formed, growing in and around each society and its own unique norms and processes. We define ourselves growing into these societies by different labels, such as "rich" or "poor", "middle-class", "democrat" or "republican", or even "Jewish" or "Christian." No matter what the label, it's usually determined by how we interact with each group we live our life around, and how they in turn react to our own impressions on their personalities.

The problem here is that we sometimes let these outside forces define who we are, instead of questioning why we believe something for ourself. I am, of course, guilty of this just like most others are. But what we all must do is analyze what it is that we hold dear, why we have the values that we have, and what we can do to better the interaction of outside principles on our own psyche.

Labels can be important, too, because they allow a conscousness to feel welcomed.

I've touched on this in another post, but it's still to be held true. We must know WHY we are the way we are, and not just allow society to tell us what and why to think. I am fully aware that people disagree with my opinions on things, but we all must know that we come from the same identical root. My opinions don't make me better or smarter than anyone, and neither do anyone else's make them the same.

We search for our identity all our lives within society. If we only searched within ourselves, we might not be so restricted as a society.

Salvation Through Differences

- ...Such is the very death of the created being. We die to the extent that we fail to discriminate. For this reason the natural impulse of the created being is directed toward differentiation and toward the struggle against the ancient, pernicious state of sameness. The natural tendency is called Principium Individuationis (Principal of Individuation). This principle is indeed the essence of every created being. From these things you may readily recognize why the undifferentiated principle and lack of discrimination are all a great danger to created beings. For this reason we must be able to distinguish the qualities of the Pleroma. Its qualities are the PAIRS OF OPPOSITES, such as

the effective and the ineffective
fullness and emptiness
the living and the dead
difference and sameness
light and dark
hot and cold
energy and matter
time and space
good and evil
the beautiful and the ugly
the one and the many
and so forth.

The pairs of opposites are the qualities of the Pleroma: they are also in reality non-existent because they cancel each other out.
Since we ourselves are the Pleroma, we also have these qualities present within us; inasmuch as the foundation of our being is differentiation, we possess these qualities in the name and under the sign of differentiation, which means:

First--that the qualities are in us differentiated from each other, and they are separated from each other, and thus they do not cancel each other out, rather they are in action. It is thus that we are the victims of the pairs of opposites. For in us the Pleroma is rent in two.

Second--the qualities belong to the Pleroma, and we can and should partake of them only in the name and under the sign of differentiation. We must separate ourselves from these qualities. In the Pleroma they cancel each other out; in us they do not. But if we know how to know ourselves as being apart from the pairs of opposites, then we have attained to salvation. -

[The Seven Sermons of the Dead]

- Carl Gustav Jung

Today Is the Day

Start today.

Go do something good, somewhere, for someone. Don't brag, don't accept anything in return.

Just go do it. Broaden your sphere of influence.

DON'T FORGET: smile. A smile makes everything better.

God Is In the Rain

Some people look at the rain and call it "bad weather." And it might be, for them.

When I look at it, I see the continuation of life: watering the green fields of endless grass; allowing nourishment to flow around and within the roots of trees, bushes, plants, and flowers; and providing the neccesary life sustanance that all animals need: water.

Let us not forget that plants need water to grow, and plants in turn provide oxygen renewal to our lushly green environment.

Aside from the obvious nutritional supplement supplied by rain, we might tend to be distracted from the spiritual qualities of rain.

Think I'm crazy?

Remember standing in a rain shower when you were young? Remember playing in the rain? Sure, it was cold at first, but it provided a type of "warm" feeling inside, a sense of relief from the pressures of life. It always brought peace within me - I often took long walks in the rain and gathered my thoughts.

It's raining today, where I'm at. I forgot for a moment what I had missed from childhood, distracted by "mature" notions that rain makes you sick and that you should hurry up and get out of the rain when it starts. I stood there in it today, however, for whatever reason, and remembered. I remembered the warmth again. I remembered the relief of pressure. I felt the rain on my face, and allowed myself to be washed of error in its baptismal bliss. I felt at peace. Then I felt what it was.

God is in the rain.

Right Mind, Right Body

A theory has been held for some time that the root causes of physcial illness start at the emotional, psycological level. This theory has some credance, and we can prove it rather easily using placebo tests in medical experiments. Usually, given enough thought and time, one can trace every ailment back to an emotional or stress-filled point.

Someone who has a troubled childhood, for example, might grow up with all sorts of illnesses - or believe themselves into having them. You can usually see this in other people better than yourself.

The mind works very mysteriously - the Greater Mind even more mysteriously. When one takes on stresses and burdens from the outside world, it can have very physcial effects on that person's body. As well, once a person accepts society's view of certain "symptoms" of problems, they might even end up convincing themselves that they have whatever illness they were looking at. By then, the mind takes over and the body is usually helpless to its dominance.

Then again, seemingly miraculous medical marvels have come through when someone was convinced of their well-being. A sudden remission of cancer in certain patients has proven this idea, too.

There are methods to help cleanse your mind of negativities, the root cause of these problems. We need only look at yoga and different other meditative practices to see these desired effects. But it is also through gnosis that one learns the limits of the body, and the limits that physical problems have on the psyche.

This is not to say that you should start picking up raw meat and sticking it in your mouth. Nor should you dispense with the age-old ritual of washing your hands after a trip to the bathroom. Intelligence, not gullibility or faith, usually helps reason and intuition flow throughout and within.

Focus your mind on the one inside, not on the world of physical substance. Finding that center within can bring great peace to the psyche, which in turn can lead to even more rewards: such as a calm mind.

When the mind is right, so to is the body.

Man's Best Friend

I own three dogs: one pure bred Malamute, a Husky/Lab mix, and a Boxer/Beagle mix. All three dogs drive me crazy sometimes, and all three dogs are crazy about me.

I often play with these animals. Sometimes I wonder how much they think, and what they think about. I can tell that they dream, because they twitch when they sleep.

I can tell, also, that they know the difference between right and wrong - they especially know when they're in trouble. They play with each other, and have a very foreign communication amongst themselves.

When I look into their eyes, I see their mind. They have something behind those eyes; they have a soul. I don't know the depth at which they approach their life, but I know that these animals are beautifully created and I'm thankful each day for the loving relationship I have with my dogs.

They say that a diamond is a woman's best friend, and that a dog is a man's best friend. I can tell you that no diamond could take the place of these four-legged friends of mine.

Why Do It Right When You Can Do It Twice

Laziness irritates me to no end.

I can't understand why someone would want to take an "easy way out" when it's usually the path that leads them to have to re-do something.

Far as I'm concerned, a job's not worth doing if it's not worth doing right. I hate trying to rush through something; I'd rather take my time and make sure it's right. Of course I don't always succeed, but I seem to have a higher success rate when I do things right.

With our "instant coffee" culture today, this often presents a problem for anyone trying to "keep up" with the rest of the world. I've made it a big effort on this blog to speak out against rushing oneself, as this is often what leads to certain failure.

Take it from someone who knows - doing a task that you don't want to do can be quite annoying. But having to do the task twice is completely stupid.

Take your time, do it right, and be finished. The same applies to the spirit. Don't be quick to rush to beliefs and revelations. Slow down, absorb, and relax. Then do it again.

Living Every Moment

As I looked at my watch about 10 minutes before I got to leave work, I realized that I invest too much time into wishing away MY time.

I think "it's only a few more minutes" and then try to keep myself occupied so that "time will fly" by and I won't even notice.

This is exactly what I DON'T need to do. This is the "rush" that gets people into problems. It's the little moments in life that we live through that aren't always pleasant that we must also pay attention to. These moments, when they've all passed, will be looked upon as "wastes of time."

Use every minute you can for awareness. Live in the now, the present, with full realization. You never know what can hit you when you're not paying attention. Of course, you never know what opportunites you can miss when you're not focused either.

Good things don't happen to those who wait. Good things happen to those who pay attention.

The Stress of Life

"Blessed are you who have prior knowledge of the stumbling blocks and who flee alien things.

Blessed are you who are reviled and not esteemed on account of the love their lord has for them.

Blessed are you who weep and are oppressed by those without hope, for you will be released from every bondage.

Watch and pray that you not come to be in the flesh, but rather that you come forth from the bondage of the bitterness of this life. And as you pray, you will find rest, for you have left behind the suffering and the disgrace. For when you come forth from the suffering and passions of the body, you will receive rest from the good one, and you will reign with the king, you joined with him and he with you, from now on, for ever and ever.

Amen."

[The Book of Thomas the Contender]
Nag Hammadi Codices


Watch and pray indeed.

I've been overwhelmed lately by what seems like stockpiles of work. The stress has become something of an obstacle for me, not really being able to avoid it, but more or less trying to dodge the hits as they come.

A moment of clarity is what I needed. I sat, I breathed, and then it came.

Smile. Everyone can use a smile. It can dramatically change your mood, and everyone's mood around you.

More smiles, less stress. Key to success, I tell you.

Anti-Church

I've just seen it so many times. A voice out of no where, criticising institutional ecclesiastics. It hurts sometimes, to see so much anger aimed at a formless body of people. It hurts, too, because these institutions are formed specifically for these types of people.

The whole idea behind ecclesiastics is to provide a sense of community to the mass of those who feel "alone." It creates an establishment in which communion with either the Divine or other people of the same faith (or both). Ecclesiastics are also there in order to nurture the individual, create a stable environment for the spirit, and cultivate the inner feeling of "good" that is within.

When I see so much anti-ecclesia from people who seem so hell-bent on being rebels, it saddens me to no end. These few have had problems usually within another institution, one that hasn't suited their needs, and have chosen instead to push away all other institutions.

I've also seen some who seem to carry a grudge with a specific establishment, mainly because either the church didn't or couldn't help them (I say "the church" meaning "church" in general).

For instance: there are many who would point out the inadeqacies of the Catholic church. By far, there are no small numbers in the column of negatives that the Catholic church has created. Some lash out against this group, claiming that their beliefs are absurd and rediculous. There are those of a persuasion that believe the Catholic church today is the same institution that called for the Crusades and the same one that began the Inquisition. Fact of the matter is, this is not the same church. It's grown - evolved, if you will. And there are countless people who are actually aided by the Catholic church and it's influence. The good is never told, nor is it emphasized - only the bad.

It's the same story with our dear Gnostic church. There are so many out in the world that have been hurt by their previous institutions, or just don't trust an established hierarchy with their spiritual developement. So instead of working to improve their ties, they work against it.

There are many who pursue a spiritual path by themselves. That is honorable, as we all must make an individual struggle to improve our individual spirit. But to rebel against an establishment that has a system of proven effectiveness is wrong. It's just wrong.

I have enrolled in ecclesiastical lessons because that's where the environment seems best to cultivate gnosis. If I thought it wasn't suited for my needs, I would migrate and find another path. Never would I insult and throw stones at the institution that isn't able to help. To those that would, maybe self-examination is appropriate in order to further your spiritual needs. Maybe, maybe, it's not the institution's fault.

Contemporary Gnosticism

Recently, I've seen a few posts (here, here, here, and here) on Modern Gnosticism. While trying to stay in the same variety of thought, I think I'll take a different approach and try to comment on some of the posts here.

I think that some of the grievances with contemporary Gnosticism that I've seen in the last few days have come from clergy who are frustrated with the pace and direction of the movement. I can offer nothing to these people but my own opinions, so please try to take my responses in with a grain of salt.

Point 1 - Online Gnosticism

It's easy to look at all the negatives this can cause, but what about the positives? The community of online seekers are embracing a forum that can help illuminiate their spiritual path so much easier than our ancestors ever could. We are able to communicate, share ideas and revelations, announce goals and interpretations, reach out to those seeking...we are able to speak for ourselves.

Of course we can announce all the negatives of the online community. For instance, it's easy to say you're a Gnostic and not actually do anything. I can announce it and someone can form an opinion based off my humble internet ramblings, but there is no proof that I do anything at all (by "anything" I mean charitable works, good will towards men, enlightened practices or actions, etc.) However, what does the action of one have to do with the needs of the many? I am not out to start a religion - only help those seeking find refuge in a path that I have found comforting. Is it wrong to use the easiest form of communication for such a task at my disposal? "Online Gnosticism" can prove very useful to those reaching for answers, because it announces to those seeking that there is a place where the truth resides. As many point out, Gnostic churches are not just around the corner.

Point 2 - Gnostic Churches

Which brings me to my next point. The churches that do claim to be Gnostic (and actually ARE) are few and far between. Sometimes, the internet is the only way the seekers find out about these churches. This, to me, is the biggest grievance that I have with contemporary Gnosticism. There is a lack of structure within the community as a whole. There are good frameworks to work on, but the structure itself is absent. Individual church organizations bicker amongst themselves and create gaps in the group. The North American College of Gnostic Bishops was originally founded as a way to reach out to these churches so that we may unite under one banner, to further spread Gnosticism to those seeking this route and end the bickering between two or more egos. There is much, much room for Gnosticism to spread, so why make it even harder to communicate by not working together?

Bringing the Gnostic movement together would be like rounding everyone in the house up into one room. It's a valuable opportunity to discuss and spread the movement. As it is currently, we're each in separate rooms, trying to communicate through a wall.

Point 3 - Individual Gnostics

While we're trying to speak through a wall, the individual seekers can't even get into the house. The individuals are left outside of the whole, to basically "guess" at what the tradition is supposed to be. When this happens, we have various "movements" claiming to be gnostic, and others that might truly BE gnostic but have no room for legitamacy. Let's face it, if it doesn't seem real, no one is going to accept it. So not only do the churches fail, but the individuals do as well. Individuals need teachers, instructors, and priests. They need someone who has walked the path, not to tell them that they're wrong or right, but to show them the BEST WAY. The clergy is not there to command, but only to aide. Together, we might actually be able to break the stereotypes that some of these individuals have about churches to begin with. When they see all the in-fighting, it not only proves their theories about organized religion, but encourages them to seek elsewhere.

If the movement is united, we will be able to communicate easier and focus more on spreading the "good news."

Point 4 - Funding

Of course, the current format seems to offer nothing BUT online discussions. While I know there are those clergy members who are out every day practicing exactly what they preach, there is no united group effort in our communities to assist those seekers who would wish to do the same. We have no funds, no way to reach to seekers other than our computers.

Few churches actually have permanent buildings, and those that do are almost never heard about. We have Protestant and Catholic churches that are as big as football fields, yet we - the Gnostic movement - cannot seem to get it together long enough to devise a form of fund-raising for our own parishes. Surely there's something that can be done about this. Most of the groups today can't even pay their clergy, which is another problem in itself simply because the clergy are forced to have full-time jobs in order to provide for their practice.

Modern Gnosticism is growing at a rapid pace. I see it, and I'm sure everyone else can see it. This is the time we much act. Putting off today will affect the effectiveness of the movement tomorrow. We still have a lot of work to do for the Gnostic movement, and a lot of catching up to do with other religious movements. But we still have something on our side - the pursuit of gnosis.

O Holy Mind

Oh Holy Mind,
Bless us with your thoughts,
Build us with your knowledge,
Shape us through your wisdom.

Give us solace in your voice,
Let us learn through your grace,
Govern us with your reason,
Guide us with your love.

Protect us from our doubts,
Awake us from our ignorance,
Shelter us from our regrets,
Release us from our sins.

Oh Holy Mind,
Create us Divinely,
Keep us willfully,
Love us eternally.

Amen and Amen.

Baggage

What we carry with us determines in which dimension we dwell. If you carry a lot of sorrow, fear, and craving with you, then wherever you go you will always touch the world of suffering and hell. If you carry with you compassion, understanding, and freedom, then wherever you go you will touch the ultimate dimension, the kingdom of God.

- Thich Nhat Hanh
No Death, No Fear

Semantics

I used to have a lot of opinions on different things. I'm realizing now, though, the more I travel deeper into my own thoughts, the more I see a flip side to each situation.

As I've learned, right and wrong have always been - and will always be- two different sides of the same coin.

When I keep this in mind, it generally helps me stay focused on my goals - not getting too upset, or too emotional, or too much of anything. For instance, when I first came to Gnosticism, I felt like I had discovered all the answers that I'd need. I could debate about church, God, liturgy, theology, evolution, physics...you name it. Within this branch of "philosophy," I discovered, or so I thought, all the right answers.

Problem is, though, that the more I learned about Gnosticism, the more I learned about gnosis. The more I learned about gnosis, the more I learned about myself. And, the more I learned about myself, the more I learned that I really didn't know. It's all a bunch of confusion piled on top of more confusion, but somewhere in between here and there, I realized that I did know something. What that is, I have a much harder time trying to describe.

I realized by delving deeper within that I can actually see things from the other side of the coin, and understand what it is I'm seeing. Not just "oh, I get what you're saying, but..." king of talk, but the actually truth of the point of view. There really are two sides to everything. You just have to know how to look at the coin.

It is with this kind of thought that I have tried to approach everything from religion, to politics (if there's even a difference), to social situations, to employee meetings, to what-have-you. I've been able to broaden my horizens, and take in the fuller depth of what is going on around me. It's more than just semantics...life itself is semantics. To realize that two points of view (or three, or four, or a thousand) can both be right at the same time really is an eye-opener. Once getting to this point, I found out something truly extraordinary. It's not the semantics (life and all it's little grievances) that matter...it's only the truth. What would that be? Gnosis.

To touch the inner core of your deeper self is to realize that bond with the rest of reality - the breath of life that flows within all of us, the matter that is compacted together to form "things," the actual reality of it all - and this in turn allows you a deeper respect and profound relationship with this reality. This is gnosis - it's what sets you upright. Gnosis calms the dust; allows you to focus your "eye" on the world.

Keep your sights on the middle ground - don't get too worked up. Everything is as it should be - learn, live, play, drink, and eat. Realize that the north and the south are two in the same. Right and left hands are still on the same body. Up and down are just perspectives.

In the end, the semantics don't matter...gnosis is what counts.

Is It Wrong To Eat Meat?

You know, I've seen a lot of comments in the past about the morality of killing and eating animals. It's often taken for granted today because we don't even see the food we eat as animal, just grocery-market-packaged food waiting to be cooked.

I've always eaten meat. I've always eaten vegetables. I eat to nourish my body and replenish my energy.

The morality of killing to eat is natural. We need food to survive, so we go out and get it. Like a wolf, we prey upon the lives we can catch, eat its meat, and fill our stomachs. It's instinctual. It's animalistic. But you know what? Human beings are animalistic, instinctual creatures and any attempts to glorify humans as anything more in the *physical* sense is just pointless. We are what we are (I AM WHAT I AM).

Spiritually, however, humans appear to be the most evolved group of life forms on this planet (maybe not on another planet, but at least this one). Not that humans are just so great, but that humans at least have the capabilities to become great. With this in mind, is it possible to transcend the animalistic, instinctual behaviors to such a degree as to question the morality in killing for food?

Some would argue that we need to be on a vegetarian diet. But I think that even broccoli screams when you rip it from the ground. There have been studies that show plants are very aware of their environments. One in particular that comes to mind was an experiment that included two plants of the same species. One plant was hooked up to a polygraph machine, the other was not. Someone came into the room, destroyed the plant that was NOT hooked up to the polygraph, then observed the polygraph test. It was off the charts. Now - can you really tell me plants have no spirit?

Vegan diets seem alright, except for a problem that you might be keeping yourself from very essential, neccesary nutrients to function correctly. Especially when you get into eating rotten fruits and the like.

In essence, any time we take food in for the proper nutritional sustanance, a life form will have to submit and die. To look at it from a panantheist view - God is all things and more - there is no end to any of this life, just a transformation of one substance to another. One life absorbs the physical shell of another life, which continues the cycle. Only the physical is absorbed, however, as the spirit transcends the shell to find - in my belief - another shell to manifest.

So - can we kill for food? My take - yes.

Pointless gaming sports are cruel. Hunting "for sport" is the equivalent of murdering someone for "practice." You needlessly take the life of the animal. And fishing seems to be pretty popular "sport" too, where many people who are good at it just throw the fish back into the water. "They don't feel it, they have no nerves." Are you telling me that having a metal hook pierced into your cheek, pulled out of your natural environment from said hook-in-cheek to a completely alien atmosphere where no intake of breath can occur is...humane?

I have no qualms with those who hunt for food. As long as they eat the food, it's justifiable. To kill for fun - that's when humanity escapes the situation.

To give a quote from a great story teller:

It's not what goes in a man's mouth that defiles him, but what comes out of his mouth.

Or something to that effect. Now, if you'll excuse me, my chicken dinner is ready.

Pax.

Tree of Life

I saw and recognized a great natural allegory for the world today.

A Tree.

Startling revelation, glimpse of insight, a great view between the lines of reality - the tree.

In it, I realized yet again meaning in this dualistic world. It was through the vision of this beautiful, naturally sculpted life form that I returned myself to the ineffiable.

Of course, I'm back to tell you... ;-)

The tree represents the fullness, the entirety of the world. The leaves are all people. The branches are all different beliefs and groups.

On each branch, there is usually another branch, or a few smaller branches.

Each of the large branches can represent a government, religion, or just a culture. The branches growing off of them represent divisions between these groups - such as Republican and Democrat.

The realization that I had came in the vision of the tree. Each of us, no matter how we define our differences, view ourselves as being on a specific branch, surrounded by "like-minded" people - or leaves. However, the message here is important.

We are all apart of the same tree.

Instant Oatmeal, Instant Coffee, Instant Gnosis

Something I'm encountering from those just beginning the spiritual path is a feeling of impatience. I want enlightenment now. They work, intellectualize, compute information, write essays, create understandings, and even believe it's there...but they just lack the experience.

In short, it's impatience they struggle with. This is not through any fault of theirs, it's just a result of society. Pressed on by today's standard of fast food, instant coffee, grocery store express lanes, and everything in between, these poor fellows just don't stand a chance while remaining in this mindset.

The problem seems to be rationalization. Too much intellectual work, not enough patience with emotional control.

In order to proceed, stop pushing, start relaxing, and keep waiting. Impatience is another archon that prevents spiritual maturity. To force something on a rational level is to miss something on the experiential side. The way to the other side of the bridge is through emotional control. Balance yourself, your emotions, and above all else...be patient.

Where the will is, the way follows.

Peace.

Church

Usually, when I tell people I'm going to be a priest, they assume I'm Catholic. This is statement and assumption is often followed with "does that mean you're not going to have sex anymore?"

Despite the juvenile frame of mind, I try to break the barrier and explain that I'm not a Catholic Christian, and this usually opens up an entirely different can of worms. The question that is then asked is "so what church do you go to then?"

Me? I don't attend church regularly. I haven't been to a church since my wedding, and before that it was probably ten years or more. So I wouldn't actually call myself a "church guy." However, I've always had a religious spirituality with me, and I've always been able to freely discuss that with anyone.

The realization is that when I finish my priesthood, I'm going to be involved in church. Not just attending, but running the facility as well. While this isn't really a problem, per se, since I have management experience and the like, it does give me a certain amount of unease, just because of my inexperience with "church."

Someone asked me this morning what church I went to, because they knew I'm studying for ordination. I told them that I didn't attend church regularly, and I got a puzzled look from my companion. I tried to explain.

I'm actually trying not to attend church for the time being, because I wish to bring my own ignorance to light through my studies. I'd like to focus on establishing my own parish - when the time comes - and approach it with the "eyes of a child," so that my ideosyncricies (my set way of doing things) don't get in the way of new experiences.

I look at this as the next challenge in my life. I love challenge; it usually brings out my best work. I have to reconcile my spirituality with my religion, and I have to allow structure into my chaos. It's going to be a bumpy ride, but I'm perfectly okay with the daunting task in front of me.

Hopefully, this will all work out beneficially. Until then, I'm back to the books.

Gnosis Is...

Gnosis Is...

...the touch of the Divine.

...the warmth inside.

...the breeze against your face.

...the pause of time.

...breath of the soul.

...light of the mind.

...peace in turmoil.

...clarity in fog.

...the dream of reality.

...a good night's kiss.

...a first love.

...the smell of a rose.

...a heartfelt apology.

...an experience.

...a knowledge.

...an awareness.

...Divine.

Thunder: The Perfect Mind

From The Thunder: Perfect Mind

I was sent forth from the power, and I have come to those who reflect
upon me, and I have been found among those who seek after me.
Look upon me, you who reflect upon me, and you hearers, hear me.
You who are waiting for me,
take me to yourselves.
And do not banish me from your sight.
And do not make your voice hate me, nor your hearing. Do not be ignorant of me anywhere
or any time.
Be on your guard!
Do not be ignorant of me.

For I am the first and the last.
I am the honored one and
the scorned one.
I am the whore and the holy one.
I am the wife and the virgin.
I am the mother and the daughter.
I am the members of my mother.
I am the barren one and many are her sons.
I am she whose wedding is great and I
have not taken a husband.
I am the midwife and she who does not bear.
I am the solace of my labor pains.
I am the bride and the bridegroom, and it is my
husband who begot me.
I am the mother of my father and the sister of my husband
and he is my offspring I am the slave of him that prepared me.
I am the ruler of
my offspring, but he is the one who begot me before the time on a birthday. And
he is my offspring in due time and my power is from him.
I am the staff of his
power in his youth, and he is the rod of my old age and whatever he wills,
happens to me.

I am the silence that is incomprehensible and the idea whose
remembrance is frequent.
I am the voice whose sound is manifold and the word
whose appearance is multiple.
I am the utterance of my
name.

Savior Returned

Molded to my heart
Is the sound of your sight.
I hear your touch
And I feel your life.

I’m sober again
Once so drunken before.
Ignorance left me shallow
Fear left my spirit poor.

Light shown through
And the dark was smothered.
Shades of gray colored
Clarity was recovered.

Given the truth
A ray of hope shines
Knowledge of self
My path now unwinds.

My spirit is pulsing
Filled with rejoice
Longing to return
And give Silence a voice.

I recovered the quest
Now knowing the way
The savior is saved
There will be no delay.

Seekers will be sought
Knowledge revealed
Knowing the way forward
Herding sheep to the field.

Dependent on me
The rest of the fold
Spirits of light
They await truth to be told.

Awake sleeping souls!
It’s time to discern
All must find the lost
The guide has returned.

I will lead you to Him
Everlasting delight
For my yoke is easy
And my burden is light.


Original by Joe Daher

The Role Of Sacraments

From Fr. Jordan Stratford's blog: Living Gnosticism: 20 Questions

6. If the sacraments don’t lead to gnosis, automatically or even eventually, what’s the role/need for the sacraments in Gnosticism?

A.

The Seven Sacraments of the church are to be recognized as ceremonial for the most part, and ritualistic as a lesser part. While the sacraments themselves do not confer gnosis, knowledge, grace, or wisdom, they are understood to be a symbolic manifestation of such, and should thereby be treated as an important step in the spiritual life of the subject.

If there were no sacraments, Divine awareness would still be extant. However, as a traditional practice, and as a guide for the seeker, the sacraments are in place to allow those seeking the path a way to allow themselves in a conscious manner to succumb to the fruits of Divine grace. I would equate it to turning the TV off to think clearly.

So the Seven Sacraments, while not necessarily needed, are not altogether useless either. From a traditional standpoint, they serve the goal of being a way to ceremonially proceed through the spiritual life.

I've been looking more into the sacraments from a traditional standpoint in my studies with the AJC. There's a big emphasis on the sacramental tradition, and I'm slowly understanding more of this "churchy" stuff. I hope to better understand the role that the sacraments play as I continue my lessons and hope I can portray a better understanding to the community.

I AM

And Moses said unto God, Behold, when I come unto the children of Israel, and shall say unto them, The God of your fathers hath sent me unto you; and they shall say to me, What is his name? what shall I say unto them?And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you.

(Exodus 3:13-14)


I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last.

(Revelations 22:13)


For I am the first and the last.
I am the honored one and the scorned one.
I am the whore and the holy one.
I am the wife and the virgin.

(Thunder: The Perfect Mind)


I am not your rolling wheels
I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride
I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind
I am the sky here
I am not your automn moon
I am the night

(Audioslave: I Am the Highway)

Okay, so that last one was from a song. But it still counts. ;-)

Expressing Gnosticism

From Fr. Jordan Stratford's blog: Living Gnosticism: 20 Questions

4. How do you express your Gnosticism in your daily life?

A. I try to apply it several different ways.

First, I slow down. Too many people miss the simple pleasures in life because they’re in such a hurry to do everything. I try not to rush too much from place to place, because I don’t want to rush through my sensations. I like my sense of smell, personally. I love to smell the roses that bloom in my yard, to smell the trees around me, and take a big breath of fresh air.

I like to also show compassion wherever I go; my wife often yells at me because I’d rather put the spider outside instead of stepping on it. This isn't always easy, however. It's usually easier to be the apathetic stranger who never helps anyone. I go to blood drives. I donate money. When possible, I try to volunteer my help (doesn't have to be to charities; just helping someone move is enough).

While it is often a struggle, I try to realize that most people are affected by their surroundings, whether positive or negative. Therefore, when I’m around other people, I try to be a positive force, so that they will take that bit of positivity to the next person. If I can brighten up someone’s day on Tuesday, that might keep them from killing themselves or someone else years later.

Babysteps.

Everything I practice flows naturally from within. I don't force myself to be the way I am. As the saying goes, "I AM THAT I AM." Gnosis expresses itself. You just have to allow it to do so.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no saint. But I have a terrible attack from my "conscience" whenever I don't follow through with my initial feelings. The Gospel of Thomas gives an excellent saying regarding the conscience (at least that's my take):

If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.

Gospel of Thomas
Saying 70

Pax

Honor Thy Gnosis

"What makes us free is the Gnosis"

Credo
Apostolic Johannite Church

I'm constantly finding myself in a struggle to define in terms what "Gnosticism" is. Because of this, I'm put in a position to rationalize the experience. While this doesn't lead to automatic suppression of any such experience, it can when the gnosis is ignored for the Gnosticism.

With this in mind, I've almost found a definition of Gnosticism that I'm happy with. Through silent observation of dialogue over at Jordan Stratford's blog, I saw a good opportunity to actually sum up in words what it means. Sorry, Jordan+, if I'm stealing any such definition.

Gnosticism comes from the Greek word "gnosis." Gnosis is a universal experience of the Divine that exists within and around every religion. Gnosticism is a specific religion designed to amplify and enhance the experience of Gnosis.

There you have it.

This is as simple a definition as I can give without trying to TELL someone what Gnosis is (a task that can prove quite difficult). As well, I think it honors the experience of gnosis as being central to Gnosticism.

Peace.

It's Not Said Enough...

I love you.

Three simple words that have so much impact on another person's spirit. Even if we know how another person loves us, it is of great comfort when we hear the words come out of their mouth.

And yet, we still have problems saying it often. We don't think about saying it to our loved ones because we take them for granted. We don't realize that they might not be here tomorrow.

Intellectually, there's some pressure to say "I love you." If it's a spouse or a dating partner, it can come fairly easy after the first time it has been said. If it's a relative or a friend, it can feel awkward. And why? Because we don't like letting our guard down. Because we don't like feeling vulnerable. Because when we express our emotions, we let down our exterior blockade of sensitivity and reveal our true self.

I love you.

People have often felt regret when a loved one has passed and they didn't get to say "I love you" before they died. And yet, they continue through their lives without saying it to the people they can still express it to. They still live in their shielded box, guarded from emotive interaction.

Here and now, I say it to you all.

I love you.

My friends, my brothers, my sisters, parents and lovers: I love you all. Each one of you. I may disagree with you, I may believe differently from you...but I will never stop loving you.

To those who would call themselves my enemy...I hope you know that I will continue to love you, even if you attack me. If my plane is driven into a building, I will still love you.

If my country and my government fights with yours, I will still love you.

If you call yourself my friend, I love you still. That bond will never be broken. No trespass will ever stray my feelings. I love you still, now and forever.

If you call yourself my brother, or my sister, I love you.

If you call yourself a stranger, I love you. If there's ever anything I can do to help you, just ask. I will always be here for you. I love you.

If you think you're too strong for my love, I'm here when you fall. I love you, and I'll never abandon you.

I only want to help. I am sorry if I offend. I hope for the best, and I see God in everyone. Each person is good, no matter their crimes or trespasses. Everyone deserves our love.

I love you.