The Role of a Leader

I have a very insignificant job, very unenlightening, and very outside the realm of any real influence in the world. However, it, like any other position in any other occupation, has its own culture and its own world of devotees.

I am a field manager for the company I work with, meaning that I run one of the retail locations that it operates. I'm the boss. I'm the guy people talk about when they're alone, and the guy people all try to be good friends with. I'm the guy that gets to solve the world's problems by taking care of business in my own little sphere of influence.

I've noticed a slight change in attitude in myself as I've grown more comfortable with my position. At first, I was a real go-getter - no one would stop me from being the best, most reliable, most dedicated, highest grossing nobody that company would ever see. And I succeeded in making a good image around me, though I may have fell short of my rather ambitious goals above. But I was always engaged, not caring who I ran over or pushed out of the way to get where I was going. After all, I had to be the best because I wanted to raise a family some day. I wanted to make the money.

Now, my attitude has evolved. I'm still in it for the support of my family - they are almost solely the reason I work so hard now. But there is another aspect of my job that has grown on me, and has caused me to reach within myself and strive to not only work hard, but to make myself an example for others.

I enjoy being a leader. Not just a manager, or a boss - but a leader. There are those, for whatever reason, who actually look up to me. There are those who actually listen to my opinions and emulate them. There are those that look to me as though I have all the answers, and I feel ashamed if I let them down. I actually care that these people see me as the go-to guy. I refer to them often as "my guys", as opposed to "my employees" or my "coworkers". The team that I've built is an important aspect and reflection of myself. "My guys" help define who I am in this alternative universe of Joe that I refer to as "work".

Many people see their boss as someone they have to be weary or suspicious around. There's always a negative connotation when people speak of their bosses. But with me, I honestly feel there's a different connection. There's a trust, a team effort, and the things I see people do I actually feel that they do them so that I'll look good, not them. There seems to be an almost symbiotic relationship that we all share.

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there's a few bad apples in the bunch. No one is 100% popular.

However, I feel that this newly realized attitude towards my position at my job helps to even further define my role outside of my work life. At work, I'm father-figure, therapist, referee, goalie, cheerleader, bouncer, and protector. At home, with friends, I feel that I am the same - and I believe those lessons have been learned through my job.

I enjoy my job because of the people that I'm around. It's not the drive for personal success that keeps me going at the job now. It's the drive to show that others can be just as successful. I enjoy my work, because I feel that I have lessons that I can teach others to help them succeed. The benefits of those feelings, the feelings that I can actually do good for other people, far outweigh the feelings of individual accomplishment.

Dear Abba

Dear Abba,

Hello, Father. I realize it's been a while since we last spoke, but I hope you don't think that's because I haven't wanted to. I've been tied up lately with the family, my job, and a new area.

I've thought about you from time to time, but I've been thinking a lot about you lately. I can't seem to get you out of my mind now, but I'm really not trying to. I'd like to pick our relationship back up again, but with so much time apart, I feel that I have to re-learn who you are. I hope this doesn't offend you, as this is not my intent. But with so much time separating us, I feel I have no other choice.

I realize this could be a little hard to accept, with me just trying to walk back into your life. But this has been the nature of our relationship for as long as I can remember. I'd walk out on a limb, start to fall, and ask for your help. It's almost as if you've reminded me that I don't always keep up my end of the bargain in this relationship. And I really hate feeling like the only time we talk is when I need something from you. I'm concerned that you might feel that all I am is a taker, when it's really the furthest thing from the truth. I've tried, at certain times, to make you proud of me and what I've become. I hope the culmination of who I am now is someone that you can feel proud of.

So, it is with great desire that I express to you that I'd like a renewed relationship with you. I'd like to feel your love more as a result of the time spent with you, as opposed to obligations that you've made by helping me through every trial and tribulation in my life. I will still need your help from time to time - I don't see a point in the future where that will not be the case. But I don't intend on making that the sole reason for my relationship with you. I'd like to be a beacon of light that radiates to others so that they may see: I love you as well.

I appreciate everything you've ever done for me, and everything you will do for me in the future. I only hope I can reciprocate and do things, positive things, for you as well. I understand that it takes two for any relationship to last.

So let this be a renewed vow. I promise to re-engage. I promise to make time for you. I promise to hold you close to my heart. I promise to recognize the moral lessons that you've taught me. I promise to love you. I promise to not take advantage of you, or take you for granted. And I promise to never forget that you love me too.


With Love,
Joe

One Move After Another

So, I must bid farewell to my birthplace, my home for so many years.

I'm moving from Memphis, TN to Davenport, IA. No worries, folks, it's about an hour or so away from all the flooding, so I'll be alright.

It's a job transfer, part of which will help define my role with my current employer and hopefully will mean the start of many more worldly opportunities within this company. Without getting into too many specifics that will, no doubt, bore many readers, it seems like a really good personal and financial move for me to make.

Though, I can't say there's no sadness in my heart. It feels like I've grown somewhat attached to this place, like it is somehow an extension of who I am. I feel like I am this place, not that I live in this place. It seems, at least on one level, that I'm taking myself away from everything that's shaped my personality.

Though I know this is probably the first of many bold moves I'll make in this short life time, this to me seems like the most important. The first chance I'll have to really shape who I am for an entirely new batch of people and places that haven't the first clue of who I am. There's no predetermined prejudice, or no glory to seek from people that haven't met me. I can literally be whoever I want to be.

And yet, I think I'll take this opportunity to show that I am still the same, normal, talkative, and very opinionated Joe. While this may be an opportunity that many would envy, I'm likely to look at it as a better way to prove to myself that I am still and will always be exactly who I am.

Eh, well. If it ain't broke, why fix it?

I guess this will just be a test of the saying: "You can take the boy out of the farm, but you can't take the farm out of the boy."

We'll see.

No Rest For the Weary

I feel sometimes that life is just a gigantic obstacle course. I mean, I know it is, but it hasn't always felt this way.

I seem to be spending most of my time playing politics, or some archetypal father-figure to a bunch of grown people that should have better control of their lives, or an actual father to a son that - even after 15 months in this plane of existence - I'm still trying to figure out.

It sometimes seems that things are being thrown my way just to test my resolve. I have the same arguments with my wife, the same problems at work, and the same dirty diapers at home.

But here's the thing: I *strive* when there's stress.

Maybe that's what's going on here. Maybe I'm just being pushed by the unknown powers to reach my maximum potential and to strengthen my resolve at being the best at what I do.

Or maybe I'm being tested by those same powers to throw me off my game.

Wherever my course leads me, I have the love in my heart to always pull me through. Rest, it seems, is non-existent for the weary.

Life drags on...and so does the quest to break the endless cycles of monotony.

"I find myself really at a loss. Can't seem to control the things going on around me."

"I want to escape."

"It's a feeling of home-sickness. I can't seem to be happy as I once was, not as a result of anything that anyone or anything has done to me, but more as a result of feeling burnt out."

"I want to be at peace. Life itself seems to be pushing me around, and instead of feeling in this world, I feel like this world is in me."

"I'd like to be able to move with the wind. There is a longing for the answer to a secret that I can't figure out. There seems to be something on the tip of my tongue, I just can't find the words."

"I know something is wrong here. I know it. But I can't tell what it is. I just want to break free."

Sound familiar?

Here's some words of encouragement:

This is always the first step. Good things come to those who SEEK, not to those that wait. Chin up, mi amigos.

Mysterious Ways

So, I'm laying in bed, face down with my arm draped off the side.

Thinking my thoughts towards God, I say "Father, I'd love to feel you."

The next thought that enters my head is "then feel me."

And with that, I feel my dog's wet nose against my bear shoulder.

Coincidence? I think not.

My Heart Cries...

I abhor violence. I tend to look the other way when I am threatened. I tend to question how people can get so involved in conflict that the value of human life and well-being is diminished. I've seen people - reasonable, intelligent people - turn into ravaging maniacs because of anger, hatred, and bigotry.

I've seen the world fight wars. I've seen how conflicts around the globe spark bigger conflicts, and how compromises turn into demands. I've seen moderation stamped out by intolerance, and activism drowned by ignorance.

And so it continues. Our world fights with itself. Every war we fight is another civil war - humans fight humans; spirits fight spirits. There is no "us" and "them" - and people are often confused by that. The boundary lines we inhabit might determine the freedoms and prosperities we might receive, or decide your fate for you before you get a chance to breathe. Nothing is certain, anywhere you live.

But we fight with ourselves again. The current world: Iraq? If the in-fighting would just cease, if people would just embrace their society instead of trying to destroy it, the "occupation" would end, and the struggle for freedom would begin with new friends. The fighting has to stop.

Palestine elected terrorists to govern, and they got terrorism in their government. They have been engulfed in civil war, and it can only stop when people decide to make it stop. Hamas was elected to power not to govern Palestine, but to express discontent with Israel. Again, the hatred brews and the results have come from it: death, destruction, war. The fighting has to stop.

Darfur has mass genocide. People are routinely, systematically raped. People die because they are of a different skin type. Mass, horrific, fighting. Blood, war, death; the fighting has to stop.

Here at home, I pride myself for the good fortune I have been lucky enough to be awarded. But I recognize the problems. The two party system of government, coupled with an ever-increasing lame duck president, continue to display their own impotence to help solve these world problems. We've been immersed in our own failures, and every good intention is drowned by critics from past mistakes. Republican and Democrat fight to appear to have a better image, when the world fights wars. Politics over leadership. Who can make the other look worse, instead of how can we help each other. Squabbling over no-confidence votes and non-binding resolutions, when people fight wars both at home and abroad. People fight. The fighting has to stop.

I believe military intervention can bring peace, and it is necessary in many situations. But the constant fighting has to stop. All we do is run around in a great circle of fighting; never ending, ceaseless fighting.

People die, needlessly, every day - proving our own ineffectiveness to coexist. We are all apart of the same sea - surely one day the ocean will stop trying to divide itself.

The Problems With Socialism

It seems to me that there is this growing infatuation with Socialism these days. The very heart of it attracts those compassionate people into believing that this is the object of civilized society. I see it growing in political popularity. I see it growing in religious circles. I see it becoming a welcomed member of society.

Socialism is basically a form of government that takes all the profits of a society and spreads it equally across its citizens. It looks real good on paper: no one is richer than anyone else; no one goes without a home; everyone has equal access to the goods of a society; everyone has exactly what they need provided for them; everyone is treated and respected equally.

As I said, this all sounds great on paper. Problem is, in action, the deeds fall short of the intention. Here are my issues with Socialism:

1. No Competition
In socialism, all classes of people have exactly the same wealth. No one has more than their neighbor. What this does is create a sense of security and comfort. When someone works harder than another person, the exact same profit is earned (in whatever capacity we call "profit"). Therefore, there is really no need to work harder than another. If one person carries more of the burden, or more responsibility - like a manager of a plant, or the head of a business - there is really no incentive to carry the needs of that particular position to its peak level. You have thus created a plateau for business achievement.

2. Someone always takes over.
Stalin. Chairman Mao. Fidel Castro. Hugo Chavez. Hillary Clinton. There's always someone ready to take the lead and decide what's best for everyone else. There is a pinnacle; a peak representative of the society willing to bear the "brunt" of the blows for the "good of society." In other words, it turns into a dictatorship very quickly. With society in control of all the wealth and distribution thereof, the head of that society is the one in charge of deciding how it goes out. You have just created a despot. It might work out for a generation, maybe two, but someone will be in charge that doesn't want to give up power. It's human nature. Not spiritual nature - human nature. There are smooth talkers, and fast walkers. Look how our buddy Hugo Chavez is turning his democratic Venezuela into a dictatorship systematically. As long as the right procedure is followed, it can be done. When the government is in charge, there's no stopping the government's control.

3. It has not worked anywhere it has been tried.
The Soviet Union; Cuba; Communist China; North Korea; Vietnam - not one of these countries has succeeded without millions of deaths, outrageous numbers of starving citizens, or they just haven't succeeded at all. Stalin massacred his own people. So did Chairman Mao. Kim Jong Il allows his citizens to starve while he further isolates his country. Vietnam had millions of its citizens killed when the United States withdrew from its efforts to halt the spread of Communism. Cuba has refugees leaving still to this day. China is only just now viewing the potential wealth in modeling its economy along more capitalist forms. Socialism doesn't work. Not in the forms that have been tried, and not in the forms that will be developed.

Human society, as a whole, cannot hold up in this dream of a Utopia. I'll admit it again - all these ideas about Socialism sound absolutely wonderful. But they have always fell short in action.

The United States is the freest, wealthiest, most powerful country in the world - and it's been around for less than two and a half centuries. I credit this to an absolutely amazingly written constitution above all else; and an amazing system for its economy to continually better itself. Free trade, capitalist corporate and business models, and a drive to be better for your own sake. In the place, you can become as wealthy as you can figure out how to become. All you have to do is strive to be better.

I fear and rue the day that Socialism is found to be the absolute model of perfection. It will be on that day that people hand over that which gives them the right to believe what they believe; that which gives them the right to be what they want to be; that which gives them the right to decide for themselves how far they wish to succeed in life; that which gives them the right to practice whatever religion, notion, or idea comes to their mind.

That thing I refer to is freedom.

Keep government out of your life. Personal freedom is all that counts in this world.

Prejudice

It's remarkable to me how people shape their opinions on things without even having any personal experience with it. I saw on the news yesterday that there were these two women who were ranting about the horrible spread of Harry Potter. There was, of course, a children's psychiatrist on the program to debate the duo, who seemingly attacked the Harry Potter story because they viewed it as being harmful to kids.

How?

Because - according to them - it promotes witchcraft to children. When the host and the psychiatrist both responded by saying that it pits good guys against bad guys, it has endearing messages of love and kindness, and yadda yadda yadda, one of the ladies made the following assertion: she claims that it glorifies white magic, and demonizes black magic, but in reality, all magic is evil.

Now...why would she say something like this? Stereotype.

What they were actually trying to do here is just demonize witchcraft, as if it's some kind of religion in and of itself. Magic (magick, whatever) is a tool used in certain religious ceremonies as a tool for further endowment of experience. It's akin to the sacraments that we've seen used in the Christian tradition. Magick doesn't *do* anything of itself, but it creates a movement in the person's mind to go forward with events that help them achieve their own particular ease...in order to experience further the divine touch.

I fear I will find my self lost in my own words.

My astonishment, however, was with these women. They are SO not alone with the bigotry. And why do they feel this way about "witchcraft"? I would presume, having not known these ladies, that they have been raised with such notions that this particular belief structure is "evil." It's a grandfathered prejudice which cultivates through ignorance.

When there is time, we should always examine our prejudices of ideas. Why is it we feel the way we do about things? Is it because we KNOW them to be bad or good, or because that's what we've been told? Do the ideas that present such a bad impression really represent the idea itself?

We should never limit ourselves to our preconceived notions. Try not to form an opinion unless you have really educated yourself on both sides of a debate. There are always two sides to every coin.

The Power Of Symbolism

Earlier this morning, when I was getting ready for work, I found a jewelry box in my computer room that had a bunch of scrap jewelry that had been put aside for special occasions (such as rings and old necklaces). In it, I happened to find my necklace charm, a silver Templar cross. I could refer to it as a Gnostic cross, because that's its symbolism for me.

The original reason I put it away was because the loop that holds it on my necklace kept breaking, but this time, I stuck it in my pocket and carried it with me to work. Later in the day, I took the time to put it back together, and strap it on my neck. It made me feel good.

It's not the cross itself that has magical powers to change my mood. It's the representation of what the cross means to me. When I wear it, it makes me remember who I am, where I have gone, where I'm going, and what I'm hear for. In short, I've attached a memory of my core person onto this symbol - making it special to me.

This is what we do when we carry charms, crosses, pendants, and all sorts of religious-type items. It is through this method we remind ourselves that there are other things going on in our life besides the traffic, the dog chewing up the furniture, the jerk at work, and the war in Iraq. It's through this method that we remember what we believe, and what we feel when we seek the Divine.

Some confuse the idea of carrying a symbol as meaning we substitute the object for the truth. Couldn't be further from the truth. You don't pray to your cross, nor do you expect it to turn into an incarnation of an angel. Rather, we focus our strength on the object, which gives us a pendulum to harness our thoughts - it channels our emotive process to make our thoughts and words reach the destination: Divine attention.

Never be ashamed of such a noble intention. Rather, make aware the usefulness of such a tool.

Gnosis: Attack of the Conscience

It is thus: when one feels the experience of gnosis, it is an overwhelming sense of joy, love, confusion, and triumph. And with it, when one returns to our lively, coffee-driven, baby goo world, we find ourselves immersed in the same old junk we were before: life's problems.

However, the big difference is not the way life comes at you; the big change in life is how you get back with reality. There is a shift in consciousness; a change in course; a new direction for your responses to flow. It's clarity. We can question even the most basic of moral rules to a fault, and actually understand that sometimes even what's considered "right" can actually be wrong. This is the stage where your conscience is pounding in your head. You've awoke the sleeping giant.

No more can you sit idly by and float through the primordial ooze. No more can you see harm being done to others, or sit and watch another do harm to themselves. No more can you bear witness to injustice and turn the blind eye. It doesn't make you superman to be this aware - just makes you superconscious.

Even the smallest life has meaning: I've noted before that my wife gets very irritated when I argue with her about killing the spider running across the floor. And you know you've got issues when you say a prayer for a fruit fly.

But these are the examples of the underlying resonance within each of us. There is a sleeping spark within that opens our eyes to the wonderful and beautiful creations throughout reality. We see that there is not so much black and white in the world: it's all confused, collapsing in on itself.

But the glimmer of hope is within us all. The bond between the saint and the sinner is unnoticeable, but unbreakable. We are all life - and that life's purpose is to recognize it and respect it .

Gnosis is the freedom you are longing for.

The Meaning Of Life

I will take this moment to gloat about the beauty of my son. Isn't he cute? ;-)

I have found no other purpose in life as satisfying as watching my child smile at me.

Time As An Archon

Time is nothing but the gauge that we use in order to judge the "distance" between two events. Time has no meaning, outside of our limited understanding of its relationship to the universe. If there were no cycles, no births, and no deaths, time would be utterly non-existent.

It is by this time frame that we fashion our lives. We live the moments of our youth as if they were infinite, and as our understanding of the limits of time increases, our daily devotion to it increases. We plan our day, our schedules, our meals - our entire way of life is based upon the moments that we use and have left throughout life.

But how realistic is this? Examine.

There is no difference between this moment and the last, other than the molecules of the universe have shifted into different positions. There is no "age" - it does not exist. Things are ever shifting, evolving, mutating, and transforming into different shapes, sizes, forms, and substances. Your body is never the same, materially, from one moment to the next. Neither is the universe.

Don't misunderstand me. I make no plans to miss my scheduled work time, or feeding time for my baby. But what I want to address here is the worship of "time" as an entity - an archon. This "ruler" controls the very fabric of our existence, and blocks gnosis at every corner.

Much despair and grief arises from our worship of time. We fear the day that our body is no longer animate, or one of our loved ones in no longer with us. Those who have faith pray that they can greet the "after-life" with the concept that they view the most appealing. Some choose to put a time frame on the existence of the planet, the sun, and the universe.

Time is no more than an illusion. There is no past, just as there is no future. Every event that has ever occurred has occurred right now, this time, present - we just gauge the time appropriately to fit into our ideas of the sequences of events. The same goes true for the death of the body. People fear this time the most, because it is the least understood.

Once the concept of time can be overcome, you can allow your mind to rest openly. Understand that the time we fear is not going to be some distant date, but it is right now - just as your birth. How many events happen between this event and the next? Who knows? This is unimportant. When we can grasp this concept of "now," and shed the concept of time, we can start to embrace the present.

Feel the touch of the now. Hear the sounds that flow. Live the breath that you breathe. Sense the emotion that overcomes you. Know that the "death" that you feel is an illusion as well, because it is just a transformation of substances. The spirit, the energy, the consciousness - these timeless functions of existence will continue.

Learn to release time. It's a heavy burden to bear, one that can constrict the pursuit of gnosis. Focus on the "now", and you can find a way to see into the infinite.

Inspiration Comes And Goes

When I first started this blog, I was full of thought and emotion about any kind of religious and/or political topic you could throw at me. I spouted, and I spewed.

I feel drawn out now, so to speak. No, this isn't my "signing out" post. This blog is going nowhere any time soon. Rather, it's an explanation as to why my posts seem so few and far between.

I feel inspiration every moment of the day. I saw the clouds moving across the sky yesterday evening, and I was almost moved to tears. It was entirely beautiful. I see life flourish, the birds singing, the flowers blooming. I see the soldiers dying overseas, the politicians arguing, and the presidential elections coming. I see my new baby boy, my beautiful wife, and the future we all share together.

These are not just fleeting thoughts. These stick with me, every minute of every day. I'm drawn to these moments, these times, and I can feel my blood pulse through my veins with passion. I want to comment, to draw logical conclusions, to analyze these situations, and reflect back to the readers what exactly these moments and sensations are like.

I seek to aide the reader into their own little spiritual euphoria, so that they may see the comparisons in their own life with mine, to better understand what miracles touch their life everyday. I wish to help those with "lesser education" reconcile the same epiphanies they feel with those who have doctorates. No one is above the gnosis.

All these thoughts, feelings, sensations, and inspirations rush through my head every moment of my day. I dream about sharing them - with my friends, family, and even the few souls that creep across my blog. I am awe inspired when I draw from these passions. I usually can't wait to get home to put all these thoughts in print and vocalize my thoughts.

Then I get home, and the baby cries, and I have to change the poopy diaper because my wife's been doing it all day and now "it's my turn." Then the feeding, the burping, more crying and more poopy diapers. The dogs need to be fed, dinner needs to be cooked, and I need to balance my checkbook. Dishes are piled up, my dogs got into the trash again, and speaking of trash, it needs to go to the curb. Oh, and I have to work tomorrow. Reality hits.

There goes my inspiration. *sigh*

You're Almost There...Don't Go Now...

Anytime you start to try something new, it can be exciting and challenging. Especially when, at first, everything seems to be a great combination with your spirit.

This is contemporary Gnosticism. Many are attracted to its elements because the word is used so much by so many people. This is another reason it's entirely difficult to ground down an exact definition and outline for modern Gnosticism. Many people are attracted to it from different sources - notably those who have actually misused the word Gnosticism when representing themselves.

One of the scary things about entering into something new is that when it's not exactly what you were expecting, we retreat. I've seen many people who are attracted to Gnosticism because they've heard of Sylvia Browne or Samual Woer using the word to describe their particual set of beliefs. Once they learn how laughable their brand really is compared to true contemporary Gnosticism, they retreat back into their "safe zone," for fear that they have absolutely no idea what is going on - like they will be judged for being crazy.

This should never be the case. I was actually initially attracted to Gnosticism through Sylvia Browne's words, which was my direct quest to seek a higher knowledge of the Divine. As I explored the religion further, I realized (a) how different it really was from what Sylvia said it was, and (b) how in love with it I really was.

Many don't initially understand the many layers of interpretation that follow through the myths and allegories of Gnostic folklore. And trust me, there are plenty of places on the web and through scholarship that claim all sorts of obscene things about the Gnostic religion and its practices, but at the core root of it, there are all these different routes the knowledge can and does go. It is more broad than people have ever really given it credit for, and I think that's a travesty.

Gnosticism is more than a religion with a set of beliefs. It's more than a liturgy. It's more than the myths that they use to teach. It's more than the word itself.

It's not UFO worship, or some sex cult, or some occultic pagan group of Satan worshippers. It's figurehead is not some psychic lady that can tell you what your grandmother is doing in Heaven.

It IS the active, consistant approach to seeking out gnosis, and using that particular experience by applying it to life. The gnosis is what frees us.

All else is conjecture, and should not taint the purity of gnosis.

The Lamb

THE LAMB

Little Lamb, who made thee
Dost thou know who made thee,
Gave thee life,
and bid thee feed

By the stream and o'er the mead;
Gave thee clothing of delight,
Softest clothing, woolly, bright;
Gave thee such a tender voice,
Making all the vales rejoice?

Little Lamb, who made thee?
Dost thou know who made thee?
Little Lamb, I'll tell thee;
Little Lamb, I'll tell thee:

He is called by thy name,
For He calls Himself a Lamb
He is meek, and He is mild,
He became a little child.

I a child, and thou a lamb,
We are called by His name.
Little Lamb, God bless thee!
Little Lamb, God bless thee!

(William Blake)

Gnosis of the Child

Life as I know it is different now.

My new baby boy has brought so many new - maybe not new, but more enhanced - emotions and feelings into my atmosphere as of late. I never knew that I could love some other person quite as much as I do; an even deeper love than I feel for even my wife (though I couldn't measure that love if I tried).

Through the sleepless nights thus far (and the many to come), I realize that I don't take care of this little guy because I have to, but rather, because I feel impelled to. I feel no sense of "obligation" per se, but a more dignified sense of "want" as I watch my son scream his head off; I want to take care of him, to nurture him, and to raise him. And the scary part is that he's only a couple of weeks old.

I have to admit that there is a certain amount of uncertainty, an uneasy feeling that I don't know how well I'll do in raising this child, or even knowing how many mistakes I'll make (and I am quite sure I'll make more than a few mistakes). But these concerns are far outweighed by the buildup of pride I have for this beautiful child, my adoring son.

These feelings have left me to wander the halls of my thoughts, as of late. The love that I feel - through no force - for him almost seems to mirror to me a spiritual resonance. If I can love this child whom I've only held in my arms for two weeks now as much as I do, how much more so can the Divine share His love with the creation that has formed from His own love?

I feel a close connection in three ways right now, as I feel that I'm on the brink of an epiphany. I strongly feel my late father's love for me, through either my memories or a fine resonance that's left of him. I strongly feel the same protective love for my son that I felt from my dad - never being scared when I was around him (and hoping my son never feels scared around me). And these two, coupled, enhance the emotive waves I have felt with the Divine - hopefully, opening my own consciousness to newer spiritual levels.

The birth of my son has brought me here, to this path.. I only hope I can teach him to seek his path, and more than that - how to walk that path.

The Day That Changed My Life

January 25, 2007 - 5:57 p.m.

Joshua Nathaniel Daher

I never could have imagined he'd be so beautiful.

Is It Wrong To Eat Meat? Part 2

For the first part, please read here.

Relatively speaking, meat eating itself is not in question here. There are obvious risks associated with eating too much meat, and advantages of eating at least SOME meat. Besides the obvious, the animal in question is usually dead and doesn't feel ANYTHING.

The issue, instead, seems to be the inhumane treatment of animals that are bred for meat processing and the like. Brother Shawn Johnston has a very interesting post on this topic over at his blog site here.

Confronted with these harsh realities, I can of course only go on the evidence in hand and conclude that these animals are treated rather savagely. I offer no form of excuse or defense for the types of behavior that some of these meat manufacturers institute in their business, and I am offended that there are not better rules and regulations in place to help better safeguard these kinds of atrocities.

That being said, I'd like you to take a minute now and examine the things we do on a daily basis that has just as bad if not worse treatment for life. I'd like to put things in perspective.

• Should we stop mowing our lawns? I can only imagine the grass screaming as a plague of moving mechanical parts comes to mutilate scores of fellow specimens.
• Should we not bathe? The numbers that die in these forms of disinfection and contamination are incalculable, much less appetizing.
• Should we cease to partake in eating fruits and vegetables? We know beyond a doubt that these plants are living creatures, and they are very possibly much more complex organisms than originally suggested.
• Forget bathing, just stop cleaning altogether. The micro bacteria that exist are apart of an ecosystem that we obviously have no right putting to an end.
• Should we also set up some form of punishment for those animals that eat meat? Obviously, they are not as advanced as we humans, but I believe I've seen some gruesome and terrible things on the Discovery Channel, and I cannot sit by idly and watch these crimes against nature occur.

Okay, okay, I'll admit. This was probably a wee bit exaggerated. No harm was intended by my sarcasm, and I hope none is taken. But I do insist that we view this as a normal process of nature.

Not all butchers and meat processors are heartless scum. They don't exist solely to extract life - but to extract food. We should DEFINITELY punish those who are found to be heartlessly cruel to the animals in which they harbor, but a boycott on the meat industry altogether is equally unjust, and impossible.

Which brings me back to my original point: naturally speaking, of course, meat intake is going to be existent amongst life forms. It is definitely natural to assume that is a part of the natural course for human consumption.

Jesus: To Be Or Not To Be

I guess this is a long time coming, because I feel compelled to write about it.

I've noticed in many, many places that are gnostic-oriented that the existence of a physical Jesus is hotly debated, and more times than not, usually considered to be false. While all of these forums allow you a freedom to believe whichever you're most comfortable with, it feels like the "endorsed" message is that there was no physical Jesus.

Let me say: this post is not intended to debate the existence of Jesus.

I'm feeling a growing concern, however, that this message is being used far too much to be of any effectiveness. I stand behind and encourage creative thought and exploration, and this is certainly a subject that is both valid and neccesary to pursue in order to find roots and meanings behind esoteric messages and myths. But the Jesus myth as it exists today is an important bridge for those entering into a more spiritual form of Christianity: Gnositicism.

I caution those that are so quick to extend their opinions on the existence of a physical Jesus, because I believe it is out of personal spite that this subject is usually explored; a way to rebel against the establishment - the big "THEM" that is already called "Christianity."

I have always viewed Gnosticism as a very esoteric, meaningful, spiritual, and unique part of a movement that has often been called "Christianity" (though there are differences). Many people who seem to "cuddle" with Gnosticism can do so because it allows them the luxury of exploring their deeper spiritual needs, and yet not abandon completely the childhood religion that they've grown up with. To this end, the importance of having a common tie between the two is very defined. The myth of Jesus is an important bridge for people to cross from the Christianity of old into Gnosticism.

For the gnostic, I believe it would be very detrimental to the movement to automatically discount the existence of a physical Jesus because it would thereby sever the tie with the curious Christian, and perhaps might make that particular seeker retreat back into his/her own particular form of error. The thought of "no Jesus" for someone trying to pursue an esoteric religion that they have little knowledge of might just be enough for someone who has grown around the idea of a physical Jesus to take two steps back from their own spiritual progress.

In no way do I dispute that this is a valid topic to bring to people's attention, and we should always explore the route to knowledge wherever that leads us. But we must also, as gnostics, understand that accepting a defined "position" on this particular subject could not only hurt the growth and developement of the gnostic movement, but it can also affect the seeker that is on the path to their own particular gnosis. Too many times have I seen those in a "priestly" role outright declare that there "is no physical Jesus" because of a lack of physical evidence. This is a position that, in my opinion, should be avoided if one is honor-bound to assist the spiritual seeker attain gnosis.

Jesus has become an icon in the spiritual world. One can believe in a physical, spiritual, mythological, or allegorical Jesus; but one must conclude that none of these can be advertised exclusively be a body of spiritual seekers on a quest to expand both our minds and the minds of those willing to listen.

Besides, I hear Jesus was a cool guy.

Face Your Fears - Death

Something I've done a lot of contemplating on lately.

What I've found is that the deepest form of fear inevitably comes from one's unique uncomfortableness with death. I've suffered from this affliction, as I'm sure the vast majority of those reading have as well. If it's not death itself, it's what it will be preceded by - in other words, how it's going to happen.

Beyond that, there's usually a question of uncertainty. What happens after?

Harder question to answer than one might suspect, even for the most religious people. Once you dissect the form or brand of whatever particular version of religion you desire, you're left with little else but your own thoughts. You can picture the circumstances that will surround your death, but there's still a slight hint of unease. If you're not careful, this feeling can turn to dread, then fear, and then it can consume you. Very, very unhealthy - and not very productive either.

"When one dreams a dream, one does not know that it's not real until they wake. How, then, do we know that death is not the greatest pleasure?" - Kung Fu, TV Series

We, as religionists (not a priest anytime soon), attempt to diagram, study, explain, and delve deeper into the unknown - not for other people's sake, but for our own. Initially, the goal is completely selfish. There is a knowledge that exists that can help us determine exactly what happens to our consciouness at the moment of death - and we all yearn for this knowledge. It is the entire reason our species seeks out and explores the possibilities of the universe.

This knowledge is like the Fountain of Youth, a never-ending specticle of immortality. Which is, after all, the goal. We seek answers about our mortality in the hopes that we can discover that we are actually immortal, and that we can cheat death. But it is not "death" that people fear, per se, but rather the end of their own existence. The knowledge that is yearned for is just a comfort blanket, if you will - sort of a reassurance that everything will work out in the end.

Then we must gauge ourselves accordingly. Realize that "time" is merely static - invented by man in order to establish a way to gauge a sequence of events. "Time" is merely a means to an end, and we have focused our entire existence on surveying time. Clocks, watches, fast-food, instant coffee - all forms and brands designed specifically to feed off the idea that we are losing time. The fear technique is tapped in order to establish our own end - that our physical selves are running out of time, so make the most of it while you can.

But this is rediculous. Since time is really static, and all we observe are sequences of events, then we have always and will always live in the present - never NOT existing. There is no past, there is no future - as you read this passage, you are merely keeping track of the seconds and the missing time of your life based on the starting point of this paragraph and the ending punctuation. When you finish, nothing has changed except for the balance of atoms in existence and their particular place in reality. "Time" has not moved.

And so we must conclude, that at the moment of death, the physical life that we live is only changed, since the energy and mass of our selves are still extant. There is no life left in this shell, but according to physics, the energy can't just disappear. It has to exist somewhere.

In what capacity? That's an entirely different topic. But there is a knowledge that can lead us to these answers. The knowledge is there, almost as if it was placed there intentionally. This knowledge, friends, is called gnosis.

Reproduction: The Biggest Small Miracle

As I move closer to my wife's due date (Feb. 5), the realization of my upcoming fatherhood is growing more and more apparent. I'm not quite used to the idea yet, and it's still not exactly concrete, but I feel its grasp around my collar. I'm about to be a father.

This has me thinking and reflecting about life and the entire birthing process. I've had to mull over so many pregnancy books and pamphlets (my wife accuses me of not reading enough pregnancy books and too many religious books) that I've almost been drowned in the process of the moment. However, there is no real metaphysical explanations that I've encountered that have peaked my interest.

I can only assume this is the trueness to reality. Not that reality revolves around birth, but that the birth of man is the most realistic touch to this plane of existence. Its true reality actually is amazing: a life actually connected in a symbiotic manner to another life, merged together for the few months that it is grown within. The material beginning of this process is, of course, enjoyable...however, the end results fascinate me so much more.

From two single cells a life is born. Spirit is fused with matter through an inital transmutation, then growth takes over. A merge of cells creates the building blocks of an entire entity - capable of thought, feeling, and spiritual inquiry.

I can only guess the root causes behind such a spiritual mechanism. Our Gnostic texts tell us great stories and myths of how the Divine fell into the physical, but when applying these ideas to an individual, the task is a little bit more broad. It is the spirit that I hope this child succumbs to, not my religious ideas. I very much hope he can take on the kind of thought that can give birth to his own gnosis, within his own mind.

I realize, though, that the life I bring into this world will be molded from my existence. I will hope to imprint a certain set of moral values onto him that he can carry with him his entire life. I have thoughts at this moment of my late father, and the love (and many, many fights) we shared while growing up. He never wavered from his position, and no matter how wrong I thought he was, I know that everything he did and said was to prepare me for my life, my quest, and my path. I can only hope to be half as good a father towards my son.

This birth process can easily be confused for the miracle that IS birth. It's too easy to be caught up in the mechanics of the moment, but I must not forget this experience. I feel it's overpowering joy entering my house.

I feel anxious. I can't wait.

Perhaps...

Perhaps this blog is the work of a mad man.

Perhaps these articles are the musings of a lunatic.

Perhaps these ideas are the dreams of men who never saw sanity, driven by their own desire to know themselves.

Perhaps these are the latest steps in a constant process of evolution, slowly drawing the minds of those connected into a state of blissful insanity.

Perhaps I've been coerced by an ideology that is entrancing, mind-warping, and addicting.

Perhaps I don't know what I think I know.

Perhaps I never knew, and I still don't.

Perhaps no one else knows what I long to know.

Perhaps there is nothing to know.

Perhaps there is a winding road we all travel, born to walk this path, driven to finish, powerless when we have taken our last step.

Perhaps this life is truly amazing.

Perhaps life is meant to be a mystery forever.

Perhaps that IS the mystery.

Perhaps we've all got it wrong.

Perhaps we've all got it right.

Perhaps there's two sides to every coin.

Perhaps there is intent behind this creation.

Perhaps there is a mind behind that intent.

Perhaps we are all apart of that mind.

Perhaps we all have a part in that mind.

Perhaps we are that mind.

Perhaps when we know that mind, we can truly be blissful.

Perhaps that's what makes us all crazy.

Perhaps...that's gnosis.

Death Brings No Peace

Saddam Hussein

April 28, 1937 - December 30, 2006

When I was younger, and the Gulf War dominated the news, it seemed to me that all the world was against Saddam. Of course, this wasn't the case, but it sure was propagandized as such to me - in Elementary school.

I used to wonder why my government never did anything to Saddam, and why he was still in power. Why don't we, I thought, send someone to kill Saddam? I was raised, actually, to grow into hating that dictator. I've since learned to deal with these childhood impressions, and my feelings on this situation have greatly been effected.

Now that he's been executed, my heart weeps. Not because he was a good person, or a good leader. He was clearly neither of these. But because this was yet another lost soul, fueled by hate - so far from the Divine.

If only I could help. I mourn for his spirit. I can only hope his spirit finds peace.

The Best Picture...

Joshua Nathaniel Daher

Coming Soon: Due February 5, 2007

This is beyond words...

Prayer For Peace

Oh, Holy Wisdom
Guide us through these horrible times.
Keep us in your thoughts,
And help us keep you in our hearts.

Oh, Holy Mind,
Reach us through our gnosis,
Waken us with your touch,
Release us from our egos.

Allow our Christ to awaken,
Embolden our yearns for peace.
Shed your love on our spirits,
So that we may shed our love on each other.

Oh, Holy God,
Allow us to see our own faults,
Blind us to each other's differences,
And help us break the grip of war.

End the fighting.
Stop the oppression.
Bring peace on Earth
And brotherhood towards all men.

Amen.

Playing Dominos: Cause and Effect

Okay, so we know the rule: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

This is interesting to me.

I know this is all "scientific" and sort of strays from the idea that a Creator-guy up in the sky has control of everything happening in the Universe, but that's okay...I'm a rebel.

This notion passed through my mind actually at a weird point in my life - when I was beginning to question whether or not my beliefs made any sense, or whether I was just sucking something up that "sounded good." I was questioning the idea that there was a creator that created EVERYTHING. I let my emotions take control, and started feeling an intense amount of doubt and anxiety. What a rediculous idea. But then I thought about something.

The idea came: cause and effect.

Have you ever lined up a stack of dominos, and then just knocked one over? It's so fun to see how everything falls; how each piece touches another, and effects the next piece. It's interesting to see how elaborate you can make the rows that branch off and make more rows fall over. Sure, the eventual outcome is known from the start. But it's the process that captures you. It's how everything falls into place, and how beautiful it is when it happens.

I thought the same when I was captured by this anxiety. Why would God even create? Here's your reason: all the pieces are lined up. The outcome is known. All the atoms and molecules are made and placed specifically in a tight, wound-up ball at the beginning of the universe - the beginning of time. So what happens? One domino is knocked over.

The meaning of existence, therefore, seems to be to act as a domino. To participate in the entire picture, to play a vital role, and to be a work of beauty and entertainment in the entire game of existence.

All the routes and revenues have been lined up. The outcome is known. The game seems pointless, I know - but it's so beautiful to see everything work out.

If we can feel that way about dominos, how much more the Divine must feel about life!

Wake yourself up, experience your gnosis - feel what it is to be apart of such a great experiment.

Promotion, Fear, And Anxiety

Okay, so it's been a while since my last post. This is mainly due to the recent happenings in the world of Joe, i.e. my "real" life. Here's the scoop:

I finally got a promotion.

It's been a long time coming, and I finally got what I've worked so hard for. I was almost to the point of apathy, but I pressed on. Failure was never an option, and I refused to be passed up this time.

So, my company finally rewarded me for all of my hard work.

Now I have a problem.

I've been so eager and willing to gain and accept responsibility that I forgot how much came with it. It's kind of daunting as I look forward at the tasks laid out in front of me. To go too in depth with what I do would be to bore the audience with which I'm discussing this, but let's just leave it with: I've got a lot of work to do to prove that I REALLY deserved this opportunity.

That being said, I'm left with a small amount of uncertainty and unease. I'm in charge of a two million dollar facility and a multi-million dollar business. It's what I've wanted, and now that I've got it, I have to KEEP it.

I've got a lot of good help, though, so I'm not alone. I just need to show them the kind of understanding that I've always longed for when I was in their shoes, and hopefully the crumbs will all come together to make the crust.

I also have to come back to the table with my formation studies. I've neglected my duties as of late, which has gotten me really far behind in my vocational studies (not something I wanted to do at all). Plus, my wife is seven months (or is it 8? Oh, my, I'm getting behind) pregnant and I've got to get the house together to welcome my new son into our home.

This, all on top of the promotion. What a handful.

As I said, this is a daunting task, this is for sure. But I'm up for the challenge. I finally got my chance to shine.

Divine Image

To Mercy, Pity, Peace, and Love,
All pray in their distress,
And to these virtues of delight
Return their thankfulness.

For Mercy, Pity, Peace, and Love,
Is God our Father dear;
And Mercy, Pity, Peace, and Love,
Is man, his child and care.

For Mercy has a human heart
Pity, a human face;
And Love, the human form divine;
And Peace, the human dress.

Then every man, of every clime,
That prays in his distress,
Prays to the human form divine:
Love, Mercy, Pity, Peace.

And all must love the human form,
In heathen, Turk, or Jew.
Where Mercy, Love, and Pity dwell,
There God is dwelling too.

[Divine Image, William Blake]

Born With Freedom

Freedom is a concept many in Western society are familiar with. Put into to definition restraints, "freedom" can be described as "living outside of slavery." Ghandi described freedom as an inner peace. Then there are others - the many people in the world that view freedom as a protective force: a positive idea that provides happiness and stability.

In Western society, freedom is something you're born with. There is no question; it's an inalienable right. God-given. Handed on a platter for even the most demented, sick, and twisted people to abuse. We don't question its existence because we witness this freedom everyday (though it's not noticed).

We can openly criticize our government and our leaders. We can decide whether we should go to work or stay at home. We decide what work to go to. We decide what mate we wish to wed. We decide what we define ourselves as being. We simply ARE.

This, as strange as it may seem, is a very alien idea in some parts of the world. Russia and China, for example, require news agencies to belong to the government for the express sole reason of censoring its media (pretty handy, if you ask me, and probably why Putin's approval rating is so high). In some parts of the world, women are still second-class citizens with no recognized rights to, well...anything. Some parts of the world seem almost completely abandoned to the entire concept of "freedom."

Iraq and Afgahnistan are two place where this was true. The ideas of "freedom" and "liberty" are no doubt unfamiliar concepts to these peoples, and a certain amount of cultural adjustment is in transition. Many are opposed to this adjustment because many fear what they do not understand. Fear can also keep a mind closed, and closed minds are very difficult to persuade.

Then there are other problems - different sub-groups vying for power all over the place. Those few that have a desire to rule with "an iron fist" are just as steadfast in their determination to keep the established norm of obedience and submission on the mass population. These few have even gained support from those that wish for the illusion of security. The many that seek freedom are, by now, assuredly, fearful to speak against such groups.

It looks simple from the other side of the world. The thought is "if they would just stop fighting, we could pull our troops out." Naive as it may be, it is an easy concept for our instant coffee minds to warm up to, and the problem then turns to impatience and frustration when the scene doesn't become the paradise that we think it should be.

It's depressing. It's disheartening. It's loathesome. The bloodshed and the violence from those people that need this freedom (but don't understand its limitless boundaries) is ultimately coming under the bigger spotlight. The idea of freedom is vanishing to be replaced with the illusion of security. There is no such thing as "stable" and "secure." The US is supposed to be both of these, and yet people die of senseless violence in this country every day.

We should allow the idea of freedom to blossom within this culture's youngest minds. The children, ultimately, are going to be the deciding factors in this struggle. For within their naive minds, the idea of freedom can be planted, and as they grow, not knowing any other way to be, freedom flourishes for them.

As I look for the end of this struggle, I feel that it will be passed on to my children's generation. Not because some president started a war with intent on stealing oil reserves (rediculous); but because of default - it's going to take that long to raise a generation into modern civility. Our children will become the ultimate decision makers in this conflict, because the world that we give birth to now is for them.

We do not fight an army. We fight no government. We fight no country. It's fascism that we fight. It's intolerance that we fight. And it's freedom that we hold dear to our hearts, and we wish to impress that on people across the globe.

If that is wrong, then I will be wrong.

Sanctity of Marriage

As I sit here this eve, awaiting tomorrow - my first wedding anniversary - it's given me a few moments to reflect on what I call the "sanctity of marriage."

And no, I'm not talking about gay marriage either.

What I refer to is the importance of marriage; the significance of the sacramental, elemental component of a sacred bond between two souls. The sacrament itself creates an atmosphere for this bond, with a priest as a witness, but performed by the two people entering into union.

The importance of such a bond is easily felt between the two parties; it's influence is everlasting. While two personalities can drift apart, the souls always have that connection.

Obviously, there are certain circumstances that permit a formal disruption of the "contract" of marriage (I wouldn't dream of telling some woman to stay with an abusive husband, or a man to stay to an unfaithful wife), but what I refer to here is the eagerness to break the agreement of marriage. Too many times I see people stressing themselves, not opening up to their spouses, ever leading into more and more problems between the two personalities.

What we must always come back to realize is that there is a spirit bond, and that it cannot be broken. Our spouses should always be our vent, a loving welcome from a hard day's work, and an everlasting relief from the pains of life. Do not ever take for granted such a person, as their loving embrace should offer sanctuary for your spirit.

It is this night I await my first wedding anniversary. And though we have been a "couple" for almost four years now, I have never felt closer to her than this night, this last year, and the first time I said "I do."

I love you very much, Ashley. Now and forever.

Marketing Religion

I'm not reall keen on this topic, but it's been bothering me lately.

I visited a church where a friend of my wife's is going to have a baby shower in the next month or so. The church (which will remain nameless) was absolutely huge, consisting of at least three "main" parts, and a radius that you can only get around if you have a vehicle.

Inside, the church had a gym (with about 8 different basketball goals), aerobics centers, 3 raquet ball courts, a music hall, prayer rooms, a snack area, a bookstore, and on and on and on. You name it, I'm sure you could find it somewhere in that building. I spent a little while just walking around; observing.

After a while, I returned to the group and was informed that we were going to be eating dinner at the church. This seemed a little strange, mind you, because I wasn't used to a church having a lunch room.

After getting into "the mess hall" (as I kept calling it in my head), I found that I had to pay to eat, which was a little surprising because all the other options at the church were free. I didn't see a problem with it, however, because I realize money is still an issue in some places (staff salary and whatnot).

As I was eating, I noticed all the different projection instruments hanging from the ceiling displaying class and study times for discussing (or just listening to a minister) different topics of religious revelance. It kind of set me off a bit.

I don't know what it was, exactly, but I began feeling a little distanced from this place. I started realizing some pretty dishonorable things. At first, I thought all these snack centers and bookstores and lunch halls were an effort to raise money (which they probably are, to some extent) for church purposes. But the church purposes that I have come to value didn't seem to match this church's. Whereas I would think this money they raise would go towards charity and community, I saw highly expensive projection equipment haning around a lunch room trying to promote "end times" classes. I saw expensive music equipment. I saw clean up crews. I saw neatly trimmed grass and bushes outside. I saw glamour, and I saw no charity.

I'm sure I've over looked some of the positive things this church has done for community. But in this case, I believe the negative has outweighed the positive. I've always looked at church as a place to worship, celebrate the Divine relationship with mankind, and think about the spirit. This place, however, seemed like a shallow marketplace.

I think my mistrust comes from a feeling of corruption. When I see a gigantic place like this, and start figuring all the costs that accumulate through expanding into these different areas, I think of all the money that it has to generate. My immediate question is: what if they can't get the money?

I have a hard time thinking that this question doesn't cross someone's mind in the institution, as well. And this opens up the institution to corruption. How can we keep them coming back? They rely on the money to stay "in business," and when this happens, the message (the entire reason for coming) gets lost in a sea of forgetfullness.


And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves,
And Jesus said unto them, It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but ye have made it a den of thieves.

Matthew 21:12-13
KJV

The Problem With Labels

We search for our identity.

That's a fact of life. We seek to learn about ourselves - why and how we are the way we are - and this is the ultimate goal for everyone (or at least it should be).

That identity can be sought outside of ourselves, and shaped by ideologies on the outside of our being. The true identity is always inside, the Christ within each of us - whether we look for it or not.

You will probably see that no matter how different we are on the outside, our center-self is virtually identical to each other - like knots on a rope. It's a connection to that center that is called "gnosis."

On the outside, however, things are not so easy. We struggle to identify with society, the lesser self - the PUBLIC self (it was called "the mob" in Rome...go figure). The self is then bent and formed, growing in and around each society and its own unique norms and processes. We define ourselves growing into these societies by different labels, such as "rich" or "poor", "middle-class", "democrat" or "republican", or even "Jewish" or "Christian." No matter what the label, it's usually determined by how we interact with each group we live our life around, and how they in turn react to our own impressions on their personalities.

The problem here is that we sometimes let these outside forces define who we are, instead of questioning why we believe something for ourself. I am, of course, guilty of this just like most others are. But what we all must do is analyze what it is that we hold dear, why we have the values that we have, and what we can do to better the interaction of outside principles on our own psyche.

Labels can be important, too, because they allow a conscousness to feel welcomed.

I've touched on this in another post, but it's still to be held true. We must know WHY we are the way we are, and not just allow society to tell us what and why to think. I am fully aware that people disagree with my opinions on things, but we all must know that we come from the same identical root. My opinions don't make me better or smarter than anyone, and neither do anyone else's make them the same.

We search for our identity all our lives within society. If we only searched within ourselves, we might not be so restricted as a society.

Salvation Through Differences

- ...Such is the very death of the created being. We die to the extent that we fail to discriminate. For this reason the natural impulse of the created being is directed toward differentiation and toward the struggle against the ancient, pernicious state of sameness. The natural tendency is called Principium Individuationis (Principal of Individuation). This principle is indeed the essence of every created being. From these things you may readily recognize why the undifferentiated principle and lack of discrimination are all a great danger to created beings. For this reason we must be able to distinguish the qualities of the Pleroma. Its qualities are the PAIRS OF OPPOSITES, such as

the effective and the ineffective
fullness and emptiness
the living and the dead
difference and sameness
light and dark
hot and cold
energy and matter
time and space
good and evil
the beautiful and the ugly
the one and the many
and so forth.

The pairs of opposites are the qualities of the Pleroma: they are also in reality non-existent because they cancel each other out.
Since we ourselves are the Pleroma, we also have these qualities present within us; inasmuch as the foundation of our being is differentiation, we possess these qualities in the name and under the sign of differentiation, which means:

First--that the qualities are in us differentiated from each other, and they are separated from each other, and thus they do not cancel each other out, rather they are in action. It is thus that we are the victims of the pairs of opposites. For in us the Pleroma is rent in two.

Second--the qualities belong to the Pleroma, and we can and should partake of them only in the name and under the sign of differentiation. We must separate ourselves from these qualities. In the Pleroma they cancel each other out; in us they do not. But if we know how to know ourselves as being apart from the pairs of opposites, then we have attained to salvation. -

[The Seven Sermons of the Dead]

- Carl Gustav Jung

Today Is the Day

Start today.

Go do something good, somewhere, for someone. Don't brag, don't accept anything in return.

Just go do it. Broaden your sphere of influence.

DON'T FORGET: smile. A smile makes everything better.

God Is In the Rain

Some people look at the rain and call it "bad weather." And it might be, for them.

When I look at it, I see the continuation of life: watering the green fields of endless grass; allowing nourishment to flow around and within the roots of trees, bushes, plants, and flowers; and providing the neccesary life sustanance that all animals need: water.

Let us not forget that plants need water to grow, and plants in turn provide oxygen renewal to our lushly green environment.

Aside from the obvious nutritional supplement supplied by rain, we might tend to be distracted from the spiritual qualities of rain.

Think I'm crazy?

Remember standing in a rain shower when you were young? Remember playing in the rain? Sure, it was cold at first, but it provided a type of "warm" feeling inside, a sense of relief from the pressures of life. It always brought peace within me - I often took long walks in the rain and gathered my thoughts.

It's raining today, where I'm at. I forgot for a moment what I had missed from childhood, distracted by "mature" notions that rain makes you sick and that you should hurry up and get out of the rain when it starts. I stood there in it today, however, for whatever reason, and remembered. I remembered the warmth again. I remembered the relief of pressure. I felt the rain on my face, and allowed myself to be washed of error in its baptismal bliss. I felt at peace. Then I felt what it was.

God is in the rain.

Right Mind, Right Body

A theory has been held for some time that the root causes of physcial illness start at the emotional, psycological level. This theory has some credance, and we can prove it rather easily using placebo tests in medical experiments. Usually, given enough thought and time, one can trace every ailment back to an emotional or stress-filled point.

Someone who has a troubled childhood, for example, might grow up with all sorts of illnesses - or believe themselves into having them. You can usually see this in other people better than yourself.

The mind works very mysteriously - the Greater Mind even more mysteriously. When one takes on stresses and burdens from the outside world, it can have very physcial effects on that person's body. As well, once a person accepts society's view of certain "symptoms" of problems, they might even end up convincing themselves that they have whatever illness they were looking at. By then, the mind takes over and the body is usually helpless to its dominance.

Then again, seemingly miraculous medical marvels have come through when someone was convinced of their well-being. A sudden remission of cancer in certain patients has proven this idea, too.

There are methods to help cleanse your mind of negativities, the root cause of these problems. We need only look at yoga and different other meditative practices to see these desired effects. But it is also through gnosis that one learns the limits of the body, and the limits that physical problems have on the psyche.

This is not to say that you should start picking up raw meat and sticking it in your mouth. Nor should you dispense with the age-old ritual of washing your hands after a trip to the bathroom. Intelligence, not gullibility or faith, usually helps reason and intuition flow throughout and within.

Focus your mind on the one inside, not on the world of physical substance. Finding that center within can bring great peace to the psyche, which in turn can lead to even more rewards: such as a calm mind.

When the mind is right, so to is the body.

Man's Best Friend

I own three dogs: one pure bred Malamute, a Husky/Lab mix, and a Boxer/Beagle mix. All three dogs drive me crazy sometimes, and all three dogs are crazy about me.

I often play with these animals. Sometimes I wonder how much they think, and what they think about. I can tell that they dream, because they twitch when they sleep.

I can tell, also, that they know the difference between right and wrong - they especially know when they're in trouble. They play with each other, and have a very foreign communication amongst themselves.

When I look into their eyes, I see their mind. They have something behind those eyes; they have a soul. I don't know the depth at which they approach their life, but I know that these animals are beautifully created and I'm thankful each day for the loving relationship I have with my dogs.

They say that a diamond is a woman's best friend, and that a dog is a man's best friend. I can tell you that no diamond could take the place of these four-legged friends of mine.

Why Do It Right When You Can Do It Twice

Laziness irritates me to no end.

I can't understand why someone would want to take an "easy way out" when it's usually the path that leads them to have to re-do something.

Far as I'm concerned, a job's not worth doing if it's not worth doing right. I hate trying to rush through something; I'd rather take my time and make sure it's right. Of course I don't always succeed, but I seem to have a higher success rate when I do things right.

With our "instant coffee" culture today, this often presents a problem for anyone trying to "keep up" with the rest of the world. I've made it a big effort on this blog to speak out against rushing oneself, as this is often what leads to certain failure.

Take it from someone who knows - doing a task that you don't want to do can be quite annoying. But having to do the task twice is completely stupid.

Take your time, do it right, and be finished. The same applies to the spirit. Don't be quick to rush to beliefs and revelations. Slow down, absorb, and relax. Then do it again.

Living Every Moment

As I looked at my watch about 10 minutes before I got to leave work, I realized that I invest too much time into wishing away MY time.

I think "it's only a few more minutes" and then try to keep myself occupied so that "time will fly" by and I won't even notice.

This is exactly what I DON'T need to do. This is the "rush" that gets people into problems. It's the little moments in life that we live through that aren't always pleasant that we must also pay attention to. These moments, when they've all passed, will be looked upon as "wastes of time."

Use every minute you can for awareness. Live in the now, the present, with full realization. You never know what can hit you when you're not paying attention. Of course, you never know what opportunites you can miss when you're not focused either.

Good things don't happen to those who wait. Good things happen to those who pay attention.

The Stress of Life

"Blessed are you who have prior knowledge of the stumbling blocks and who flee alien things.

Blessed are you who are reviled and not esteemed on account of the love their lord has for them.

Blessed are you who weep and are oppressed by those without hope, for you will be released from every bondage.

Watch and pray that you not come to be in the flesh, but rather that you come forth from the bondage of the bitterness of this life. And as you pray, you will find rest, for you have left behind the suffering and the disgrace. For when you come forth from the suffering and passions of the body, you will receive rest from the good one, and you will reign with the king, you joined with him and he with you, from now on, for ever and ever.

Amen."

[The Book of Thomas the Contender]
Nag Hammadi Codices


Watch and pray indeed.

I've been overwhelmed lately by what seems like stockpiles of work. The stress has become something of an obstacle for me, not really being able to avoid it, but more or less trying to dodge the hits as they come.

A moment of clarity is what I needed. I sat, I breathed, and then it came.

Smile. Everyone can use a smile. It can dramatically change your mood, and everyone's mood around you.

More smiles, less stress. Key to success, I tell you.

Anti-Church

I've just seen it so many times. A voice out of no where, criticising institutional ecclesiastics. It hurts sometimes, to see so much anger aimed at a formless body of people. It hurts, too, because these institutions are formed specifically for these types of people.

The whole idea behind ecclesiastics is to provide a sense of community to the mass of those who feel "alone." It creates an establishment in which communion with either the Divine or other people of the same faith (or both). Ecclesiastics are also there in order to nurture the individual, create a stable environment for the spirit, and cultivate the inner feeling of "good" that is within.

When I see so much anti-ecclesia from people who seem so hell-bent on being rebels, it saddens me to no end. These few have had problems usually within another institution, one that hasn't suited their needs, and have chosen instead to push away all other institutions.

I've also seen some who seem to carry a grudge with a specific establishment, mainly because either the church didn't or couldn't help them (I say "the church" meaning "church" in general).

For instance: there are many who would point out the inadeqacies of the Catholic church. By far, there are no small numbers in the column of negatives that the Catholic church has created. Some lash out against this group, claiming that their beliefs are absurd and rediculous. There are those of a persuasion that believe the Catholic church today is the same institution that called for the Crusades and the same one that began the Inquisition. Fact of the matter is, this is not the same church. It's grown - evolved, if you will. And there are countless people who are actually aided by the Catholic church and it's influence. The good is never told, nor is it emphasized - only the bad.

It's the same story with our dear Gnostic church. There are so many out in the world that have been hurt by their previous institutions, or just don't trust an established hierarchy with their spiritual developement. So instead of working to improve their ties, they work against it.

There are many who pursue a spiritual path by themselves. That is honorable, as we all must make an individual struggle to improve our individual spirit. But to rebel against an establishment that has a system of proven effectiveness is wrong. It's just wrong.

I have enrolled in ecclesiastical lessons because that's where the environment seems best to cultivate gnosis. If I thought it wasn't suited for my needs, I would migrate and find another path. Never would I insult and throw stones at the institution that isn't able to help. To those that would, maybe self-examination is appropriate in order to further your spiritual needs. Maybe, maybe, it's not the institution's fault.

Failure and Frustration

I set out to complete a task, and the first step I have failed.

Some might not see it as such; some might be inclined to see it as just the first attempt, but I see it as failure.

The task at hand is not as easy as I thought. I forgot myself, thinking I'm smarter than most and already possess the "truth" so that I might have an easy ride ahead of me. I am humbled, blindly falling back into my own recognition, knowing that I truly do not know.

And yet, I still feel the spark. I still feel the burning desire. I have to get up. I have to do it again.

Do I want to? No. Yes. Does it matter?

I failed my first task because I overlooked the simplicity of it. I did not look with eyes open.

And yet, I am driven. I am not forced, but drawn. If it takes 478 tries, and I still fail - then I will hope for another chance. And another.

It is the yearning desire to reach my goal that pulls me. It is inside me to move.

I fell the first time I walked.

But I press on. I will succeed.

Contemporary Gnosticism

Recently, I've seen a few posts (here, here, here, and here) on Modern Gnosticism. While trying to stay in the same variety of thought, I think I'll take a different approach and try to comment on some of the posts here.

I think that some of the grievances with contemporary Gnosticism that I've seen in the last few days have come from clergy who are frustrated with the pace and direction of the movement. I can offer nothing to these people but my own opinions, so please try to take my responses in with a grain of salt.

Point 1 - Online Gnosticism

It's easy to look at all the negatives this can cause, but what about the positives? The community of online seekers are embracing a forum that can help illuminiate their spiritual path so much easier than our ancestors ever could. We are able to communicate, share ideas and revelations, announce goals and interpretations, reach out to those seeking...we are able to speak for ourselves.

Of course we can announce all the negatives of the online community. For instance, it's easy to say you're a Gnostic and not actually do anything. I can announce it and someone can form an opinion based off my humble internet ramblings, but there is no proof that I do anything at all (by "anything" I mean charitable works, good will towards men, enlightened practices or actions, etc.) However, what does the action of one have to do with the needs of the many? I am not out to start a religion - only help those seeking find refuge in a path that I have found comforting. Is it wrong to use the easiest form of communication for such a task at my disposal? "Online Gnosticism" can prove very useful to those reaching for answers, because it announces to those seeking that there is a place where the truth resides. As many point out, Gnostic churches are not just around the corner.

Point 2 - Gnostic Churches

Which brings me to my next point. The churches that do claim to be Gnostic (and actually ARE) are few and far between. Sometimes, the internet is the only way the seekers find out about these churches. This, to me, is the biggest grievance that I have with contemporary Gnosticism. There is a lack of structure within the community as a whole. There are good frameworks to work on, but the structure itself is absent. Individual church organizations bicker amongst themselves and create gaps in the group. The North American College of Gnostic Bishops was originally founded as a way to reach out to these churches so that we may unite under one banner, to further spread Gnosticism to those seeking this route and end the bickering between two or more egos. There is much, much room for Gnosticism to spread, so why make it even harder to communicate by not working together?

Bringing the Gnostic movement together would be like rounding everyone in the house up into one room. It's a valuable opportunity to discuss and spread the movement. As it is currently, we're each in separate rooms, trying to communicate through a wall.

Point 3 - Individual Gnostics

While we're trying to speak through a wall, the individual seekers can't even get into the house. The individuals are left outside of the whole, to basically "guess" at what the tradition is supposed to be. When this happens, we have various "movements" claiming to be gnostic, and others that might truly BE gnostic but have no room for legitamacy. Let's face it, if it doesn't seem real, no one is going to accept it. So not only do the churches fail, but the individuals do as well. Individuals need teachers, instructors, and priests. They need someone who has walked the path, not to tell them that they're wrong or right, but to show them the BEST WAY. The clergy is not there to command, but only to aide. Together, we might actually be able to break the stereotypes that some of these individuals have about churches to begin with. When they see all the in-fighting, it not only proves their theories about organized religion, but encourages them to seek elsewhere.

If the movement is united, we will be able to communicate easier and focus more on spreading the "good news."

Point 4 - Funding

Of course, the current format seems to offer nothing BUT online discussions. While I know there are those clergy members who are out every day practicing exactly what they preach, there is no united group effort in our communities to assist those seekers who would wish to do the same. We have no funds, no way to reach to seekers other than our computers.

Few churches actually have permanent buildings, and those that do are almost never heard about. We have Protestant and Catholic churches that are as big as football fields, yet we - the Gnostic movement - cannot seem to get it together long enough to devise a form of fund-raising for our own parishes. Surely there's something that can be done about this. Most of the groups today can't even pay their clergy, which is another problem in itself simply because the clergy are forced to have full-time jobs in order to provide for their practice.

Modern Gnosticism is growing at a rapid pace. I see it, and I'm sure everyone else can see it. This is the time we much act. Putting off today will affect the effectiveness of the movement tomorrow. We still have a lot of work to do for the Gnostic movement, and a lot of catching up to do with other religious movements. But we still have something on our side - the pursuit of gnosis.

O Holy Mind

Oh Holy Mind,
Bless us with your thoughts,
Build us with your knowledge,
Shape us through your wisdom.

Give us solace in your voice,
Let us learn through your grace,
Govern us with your reason,
Guide us with your love.

Protect us from our doubts,
Awake us from our ignorance,
Shelter us from our regrets,
Release us from our sins.

Oh Holy Mind,
Create us Divinely,
Keep us willfully,
Love us eternally.

Amen and Amen.

Baggage

What we carry with us determines in which dimension we dwell. If you carry a lot of sorrow, fear, and craving with you, then wherever you go you will always touch the world of suffering and hell. If you carry with you compassion, understanding, and freedom, then wherever you go you will touch the ultimate dimension, the kingdom of God.

- Thich Nhat Hanh
No Death, No Fear

Semantics

I used to have a lot of opinions on different things. I'm realizing now, though, the more I travel deeper into my own thoughts, the more I see a flip side to each situation.

As I've learned, right and wrong have always been - and will always be- two different sides of the same coin.

When I keep this in mind, it generally helps me stay focused on my goals - not getting too upset, or too emotional, or too much of anything. For instance, when I first came to Gnosticism, I felt like I had discovered all the answers that I'd need. I could debate about church, God, liturgy, theology, evolution, physics...you name it. Within this branch of "philosophy," I discovered, or so I thought, all the right answers.

Problem is, though, that the more I learned about Gnosticism, the more I learned about gnosis. The more I learned about gnosis, the more I learned about myself. And, the more I learned about myself, the more I learned that I really didn't know. It's all a bunch of confusion piled on top of more confusion, but somewhere in between here and there, I realized that I did know something. What that is, I have a much harder time trying to describe.

I realized by delving deeper within that I can actually see things from the other side of the coin, and understand what it is I'm seeing. Not just "oh, I get what you're saying, but..." king of talk, but the actually truth of the point of view. There really are two sides to everything. You just have to know how to look at the coin.

It is with this kind of thought that I have tried to approach everything from religion, to politics (if there's even a difference), to social situations, to employee meetings, to what-have-you. I've been able to broaden my horizens, and take in the fuller depth of what is going on around me. It's more than just semantics...life itself is semantics. To realize that two points of view (or three, or four, or a thousand) can both be right at the same time really is an eye-opener. Once getting to this point, I found out something truly extraordinary. It's not the semantics (life and all it's little grievances) that matter...it's only the truth. What would that be? Gnosis.

To touch the inner core of your deeper self is to realize that bond with the rest of reality - the breath of life that flows within all of us, the matter that is compacted together to form "things," the actual reality of it all - and this in turn allows you a deeper respect and profound relationship with this reality. This is gnosis - it's what sets you upright. Gnosis calms the dust; allows you to focus your "eye" on the world.

Keep your sights on the middle ground - don't get too worked up. Everything is as it should be - learn, live, play, drink, and eat. Realize that the north and the south are two in the same. Right and left hands are still on the same body. Up and down are just perspectives.

In the end, the semantics don't matter...gnosis is what counts.

Pastor, Reverend, Priest...How About Friend?

I'm humbled. I really am.

There have been so many places lately in which I've found that my little bit of advice has been what someone needed to hear, or that I could help someone with their problems.

I'm just flat-out drowning in my ego. It's not all bad. I like my ego. It makes me something different from the rest, which gives me a uniqueness.

That unique quality of mine is the same that is within us all. We each have an ego - whether your goal is to overcome it or embrace it as the self within. Sometimes, the ego needs a little stroking in order to not drown away in depression and lonliness.

It is this that I have. I have discovered a community of need. I have felt my purpose, drawn more intensely in the last few days than ever before. I feel like I've made the right decision.

I was questioning my sanity when I enrolled in the Priesthood studies of the AJC. I mean, there's no money in it. Like I'd ever be able to support my family with a Priest's income - much less an income that a GNOSTIC priest makes. Ha.

But I've discovered, without even trying - I made my decision because it's who I am, and what I want to do. It's me. I'm most happy touching those who need help. I want to be that priest that walks through hospitals, speaking with people about life and love. I want to be the person rallying fundraisers for children's benefits. But most importantly: I want to be the one who helps a lost soul find the light within. I love that role.

And so my ego sings in happiness. Not because of pride, but because of satisfaction.

I have seen a reflection of myself. I like what I see.

- Joe

Great Book, If Anyone Is Interested...

From The End Of Faith, by Sam Harris:

Consider the recent conflict in Iraq: If the situation had been reversed, what
are the chances that the Iraqi Republican Guard, attempting to execute a
regime change on the Potomac, would have taken the same degree of care to
minimize civilian casualties? What are the chances that Iraqi forces would
have been deterred by our use of human shields? (What are the chances we
would have used human shields?) What are the chances that a routed American
government would have called for its citizens to volunteer to be suicide
bombers? What are the chances that Iraqui soldiers would have wept upon
killing a carload of American civilians at a checkpoint unnecessarily? You
should have, in the ledger of your imagination, a mounting column of
zeros.

Great book. I couldn't put it down.

I highly recommend it.

It's A BOY!!!

Went to the doctor, found out what we're having!

It's a BOY.

I'd post a longer message, but I don't care, cause I'm going to go celebrate having a BOY!!

Toodles!

- Joe

The Use Of Mind Altering Drugs

I used to think this was an easy topic. Then, I grew up.

The topic of drugs, specifically Marijuana and Lysergic Acid Diethylamide (a.k.a. LSD or "acid") seems to be creating more controversy, especially over the last few months. While this has even come under recent discussion in some Gnostic forums, I felt the need to explore the subject a little to find out if there's more to it than just acceptance of authorative norms.

It's a touchy subject among some, particularly the younger crowd (or the more liberal). However, I think there are more complex issues at hand than just the particular freedom to use any mind altering substance one can aquire. For some, the idea has come into play that using said drugs can actually help with the elevation of the consciousness. This seems like a valid argument, especially since "mind-altering" states can create the illusion of being in a static state of mind.

My case is this: it IS an illusion. The problem with these drugs is not that it helps some "attain" enlightenment by "centering" their thoughts, the problem is instead that it creates the illusion of illuminary thought, and the dependence on a physical substance to return to the previously "aquired" state of mind. There is no independence of experience, meaning that it is all dependant on a material substance to achieve the experience.

Put it to the point: the drug is of the "world of forms" and creates no real "enlightenment." It's the body's way of compensating for chemical stimulation that is set into motion. For me, this chemical stimulation can actually cause a blockade of the actual experience, and create a resistence to the real, spiritual experience of gnosis through a lesser known Archon - Addiction.

This is not to say that certain people in the past have not used such methods to receive many great poetic, visionary, artistic expressions. The Beatles come to mind to prove this idea. But to rely on material substance as the sole form of experience is to lose focus on what's real - spiritual gnosis.

Divine Communion can be experienced with a completely lucid state of mind. Dependancy on material substances creates a rift between the spiritual and physical that is almost impossible to overcome. The spiritual truth should be allowed to flow through the sober mind, because the intake and processing of this experience is what matters post-gnosis. To have judgemental impairment on this gnosis is to deny yourself the reality of the experience.

Maybe I'm wrong though.

- Joe

Is It Wrong To Eat Meat?

You know, I've seen a lot of comments in the past about the morality of killing and eating animals. It's often taken for granted today because we don't even see the food we eat as animal, just grocery-market-packaged food waiting to be cooked.

I've always eaten meat. I've always eaten vegetables. I eat to nourish my body and replenish my energy.

The morality of killing to eat is natural. We need food to survive, so we go out and get it. Like a wolf, we prey upon the lives we can catch, eat its meat, and fill our stomachs. It's instinctual. It's animalistic. But you know what? Human beings are animalistic, instinctual creatures and any attempts to glorify humans as anything more in the *physical* sense is just pointless. We are what we are (I AM WHAT I AM).

Spiritually, however, humans appear to be the most evolved group of life forms on this planet (maybe not on another planet, but at least this one). Not that humans are just so great, but that humans at least have the capabilities to become great. With this in mind, is it possible to transcend the animalistic, instinctual behaviors to such a degree as to question the morality in killing for food?

Some would argue that we need to be on a vegetarian diet. But I think that even broccoli screams when you rip it from the ground. There have been studies that show plants are very aware of their environments. One in particular that comes to mind was an experiment that included two plants of the same species. One plant was hooked up to a polygraph machine, the other was not. Someone came into the room, destroyed the plant that was NOT hooked up to the polygraph, then observed the polygraph test. It was off the charts. Now - can you really tell me plants have no spirit?

Vegan diets seem alright, except for a problem that you might be keeping yourself from very essential, neccesary nutrients to function correctly. Especially when you get into eating rotten fruits and the like.

In essence, any time we take food in for the proper nutritional sustanance, a life form will have to submit and die. To look at it from a panantheist view - God is all things and more - there is no end to any of this life, just a transformation of one substance to another. One life absorbs the physical shell of another life, which continues the cycle. Only the physical is absorbed, however, as the spirit transcends the shell to find - in my belief - another shell to manifest.

So - can we kill for food? My take - yes.

Pointless gaming sports are cruel. Hunting "for sport" is the equivalent of murdering someone for "practice." You needlessly take the life of the animal. And fishing seems to be pretty popular "sport" too, where many people who are good at it just throw the fish back into the water. "They don't feel it, they have no nerves." Are you telling me that having a metal hook pierced into your cheek, pulled out of your natural environment from said hook-in-cheek to a completely alien atmosphere where no intake of breath can occur is...humane?

I have no qualms with those who hunt for food. As long as they eat the food, it's justifiable. To kill for fun - that's when humanity escapes the situation.

To give a quote from a great story teller:

It's not what goes in a man's mouth that defiles him, but what comes out of his mouth.

Or something to that effect. Now, if you'll excuse me, my chicken dinner is ready.

Pax.

Tree of Life

I saw and recognized a great natural allegory for the world today.

A Tree.

Startling revelation, glimpse of insight, a great view between the lines of reality - the tree.

In it, I realized yet again meaning in this dualistic world. It was through the vision of this beautiful, naturally sculpted life form that I returned myself to the ineffiable.

Of course, I'm back to tell you... ;-)

The tree represents the fullness, the entirety of the world. The leaves are all people. The branches are all different beliefs and groups.

On each branch, there is usually another branch, or a few smaller branches.

Each of the large branches can represent a government, religion, or just a culture. The branches growing off of them represent divisions between these groups - such as Republican and Democrat.

The realization that I had came in the vision of the tree. Each of us, no matter how we define our differences, view ourselves as being on a specific branch, surrounded by "like-minded" people - or leaves. However, the message here is important.

We are all apart of the same tree.

Instant Oatmeal, Instant Coffee, Instant Gnosis

Something I'm encountering from those just beginning the spiritual path is a feeling of impatience. I want enlightenment now. They work, intellectualize, compute information, write essays, create understandings, and even believe it's there...but they just lack the experience.

In short, it's impatience they struggle with. This is not through any fault of theirs, it's just a result of society. Pressed on by today's standard of fast food, instant coffee, grocery store express lanes, and everything in between, these poor fellows just don't stand a chance while remaining in this mindset.

The problem seems to be rationalization. Too much intellectual work, not enough patience with emotional control.

In order to proceed, stop pushing, start relaxing, and keep waiting. Impatience is another archon that prevents spiritual maturity. To force something on a rational level is to miss something on the experiential side. The way to the other side of the bridge is through emotional control. Balance yourself, your emotions, and above all else...be patient.

Where the will is, the way follows.

Peace.

Church

Usually, when I tell people I'm going to be a priest, they assume I'm Catholic. This is statement and assumption is often followed with "does that mean you're not going to have sex anymore?"

Despite the juvenile frame of mind, I try to break the barrier and explain that I'm not a Catholic Christian, and this usually opens up an entirely different can of worms. The question that is then asked is "so what church do you go to then?"

Me? I don't attend church regularly. I haven't been to a church since my wedding, and before that it was probably ten years or more. So I wouldn't actually call myself a "church guy." However, I've always had a religious spirituality with me, and I've always been able to freely discuss that with anyone.

The realization is that when I finish my priesthood, I'm going to be involved in church. Not just attending, but running the facility as well. While this isn't really a problem, per se, since I have management experience and the like, it does give me a certain amount of unease, just because of my inexperience with "church."

Someone asked me this morning what church I went to, because they knew I'm studying for ordination. I told them that I didn't attend church regularly, and I got a puzzled look from my companion. I tried to explain.

I'm actually trying not to attend church for the time being, because I wish to bring my own ignorance to light through my studies. I'd like to focus on establishing my own parish - when the time comes - and approach it with the "eyes of a child," so that my ideosyncricies (my set way of doing things) don't get in the way of new experiences.

I look at this as the next challenge in my life. I love challenge; it usually brings out my best work. I have to reconcile my spirituality with my religion, and I have to allow structure into my chaos. It's going to be a bumpy ride, but I'm perfectly okay with the daunting task in front of me.

Hopefully, this will all work out beneficially. Until then, I'm back to the books.

Gnosis Is...

Gnosis Is...

...the touch of the Divine.

...the warmth inside.

...the breeze against your face.

...the pause of time.

...breath of the soul.

...light of the mind.

...peace in turmoil.

...clarity in fog.

...the dream of reality.

...a good night's kiss.

...a first love.

...the smell of a rose.

...a heartfelt apology.

...an experience.

...a knowledge.

...an awareness.

...Divine.

Thunder: The Perfect Mind

From The Thunder: Perfect Mind

I was sent forth from the power, and I have come to those who reflect
upon me, and I have been found among those who seek after me.
Look upon me, you who reflect upon me, and you hearers, hear me.
You who are waiting for me,
take me to yourselves.
And do not banish me from your sight.
And do not make your voice hate me, nor your hearing. Do not be ignorant of me anywhere
or any time.
Be on your guard!
Do not be ignorant of me.

For I am the first and the last.
I am the honored one and
the scorned one.
I am the whore and the holy one.
I am the wife and the virgin.
I am the mother and the daughter.
I am the members of my mother.
I am the barren one and many are her sons.
I am she whose wedding is great and I
have not taken a husband.
I am the midwife and she who does not bear.
I am the solace of my labor pains.
I am the bride and the bridegroom, and it is my
husband who begot me.
I am the mother of my father and the sister of my husband
and he is my offspring I am the slave of him that prepared me.
I am the ruler of
my offspring, but he is the one who begot me before the time on a birthday. And
he is my offspring in due time and my power is from him.
I am the staff of his
power in his youth, and he is the rod of my old age and whatever he wills,
happens to me.

I am the silence that is incomprehensible and the idea whose
remembrance is frequent.
I am the voice whose sound is manifold and the word
whose appearance is multiple.
I am the utterance of my
name.

I Am a Liberal Conservative...But I'm Not a Bad Guy...

Okay, so here it is. I'm "outing" myself, once and for all. Too many times I've seen the left taking jabs at the right, and I swallowed my words. Well, I'm out now.

I'm a Republican. *gasp*

Yes, I know. It's crazy, especially in this world today. We're the "bad guys." And it's all because of Bush, right?

Sure, no problem. Take all the jabs you want, but when it comes down to it, my beliefs don't make me a bad guy. Neither do Bush's.

While I might share the same opinion as many republicans on many different issues, I come to these conclusions for different reasons. Hence, I throw the word "liberal" at the front of the title. Sort of a way to disguise my intentions...heh...

Not everyone who sits to the right has a taste for blood, as it is so often portrayed by the left. For instance: gun control, while seemingly a good idea, only takes these weapons out of the hands of those who would use it for defense, therefore, limiting one's capabilities to defend oneself from those who obtain the items illegally.

Pro-war? Back and forth. I'm against the necessity of war. Does that make the need go away? Of course not. I know, I know, it goes against everything one can believe about human kind when we say that war is sometimes the necessity. But, I don't know if you were paying attention or not...but not everyone on this planet is here to see you succeed. There are some pretty mean guys in some pretty powerful seats around the globe, and sometimes - just sometimes - they get their sights on ending someone else's successes. And we absolutely must protect ourselves and others. It's as simple as that. Do I want to go to war? No. I'm ready for bloodshed to come to an end. Will it, just because of my wishes? Probably not.

I could go on about that.

Pro-choice? Absolutely not. If there's a choice, it should be saving the life. It's not just a mass of cells...it's a life. Why not just take birth control? Oh, yeah...that would make too much sense. What about rapes? I understand the emotions involved. I really do. But it is not the fault of that little life what happens before it's conceived. And I fight for life. Besides, adoption really is a viable option.

These are but a few of the whole. But just because I'm a Republican doesn't mean I follow all ideas of the party.

Tree-hugger? Yes...I even hate pulling the weeds out of my flower bed. Why? Because I'm CRAZY. Even plants scream when when you rip them from the ground. With polution, I recognize there are problems with the environment, and with nature, and very much wish to see these improve.

Pro-death penalty? Absolutely not. This basically eliminates any room for error in such a case. Someone's life is not really what I want to put up for a wager in a situation like this.

So whatever. I am a conservative.

I make reference to a comment I left on Jordan Stratford's blog site:

If a person is "liberal," then literally, it means that he/she is a
person
free of bigotry or prejudices and rule of the established norm.
However,
"conservativism" doesn't mean the polar opposite. I think Edmond
Burke's
definition is best: "conservatism is a disposition to preserve, and a
will
to improve."

Being a conservative in the political sense today almost
always groups you
in with those who are inevitably pro-death penalty and
pro-war. But this
isn't neccesarrily the case either, as "conservative
philosophy" is older than
"conservative politics." One can be conservative
and still side with the
"left" or the "right."

Okay, so now I'm done. You are free to attack. Keep in mind, though: I'm still not a bad guy.

- Joe

Savior Returned

Molded to my heart
Is the sound of your sight.
I hear your touch
And I feel your life.

I’m sober again
Once so drunken before.
Ignorance left me shallow
Fear left my spirit poor.

Light shown through
And the dark was smothered.
Shades of gray colored
Clarity was recovered.

Given the truth
A ray of hope shines
Knowledge of self
My path now unwinds.

My spirit is pulsing
Filled with rejoice
Longing to return
And give Silence a voice.

I recovered the quest
Now knowing the way
The savior is saved
There will be no delay.

Seekers will be sought
Knowledge revealed
Knowing the way forward
Herding sheep to the field.

Dependent on me
The rest of the fold
Spirits of light
They await truth to be told.

Awake sleeping souls!
It’s time to discern
All must find the lost
The guide has returned.

I will lead you to Him
Everlasting delight
For my yoke is easy
And my burden is light.


Original by Joe Daher

Interview With Gnostic Priest

Rev. Troy is a prominant member of the Ecclesia Gnostica, and he recently gave an interview at The Green Triangle. Below is the link.

Enjoy.

Embryonic Stem Cell Research

I've stayed out of this for a while, hearing the collective "liberal" side of the discussion from a few different perspectives - mainly gnostic at heart. Not bad opinions, but very liberal (which, hey, seems to be most of the gnostic world).

Well, I've classified myself as a liberal conservative, so I'm sure I can bring a flip side to this discussion. Here's my take.

An embryonic stem cell is basically a "master cell," one that it is capable of transforming itself into just about any type of cell in the body. Scientists believe that we can use these cells to help regenerate damaged organs or tissues that occur because of certain deseases.

How do we get these cells? Well, that's where the controversy comes from.

The stem cells form inside the inner wall of early-stage human embryos, called blastocysts, which hold anywhere from 50 to 150 cells.

These blastocysts form when the human embryo is about 5 days old.

So where's the problem?

The problem comes in when you try to extract the stem cells. Because of the amount needed to do the research, the extraction of stem cells kills the embryo. Hence, no life for the pre-baby.

This is where the moral issues come from. In order to do the research on the cells, they must kill the embryo. Killing the embryo must also mean killing the potential human baby that forms from the embryo.

Now, I've heard the claims that the mass of 150 cells can in no way be called a human. These claims are very valid. This lump of cells has no tissue, no nerves, no brains, no body. It is essentially just what it is - a mass of cells.

However, I *very strongly* beg to differ about the humanity of the situation. This same lump mass of cells originated each human being that is alive today. While you cannot claim that the cells are human, they certainly have an important role to play.

Only certain conditions can arise in order to produce a life. These certain conditions are important when they occur, because they do not occur all the time in every human. When the circumstances are right, life manifests itself. The manifestation in these circumstances are contributed from the male sperm enjoining with the female egg. Boom - life is made.

Imagine, for a second, if you're parents had stopped your birth from ever happening. Imagine if you stopped your kid's birth. Imagine that.

I find it incredibly flawed logic to insist that this "lump of cells" is so insignificant that we can just kill it - especially given its potential. This "lump of cells" could grow into a scientist with a cure for cancer, or a global leader that finally solves the dispute between Israel and Islam. Or maybe, just maybe, it's potential is something different. Maybe, just maybe, this "lump of cells" grows into someone's child, someone who is "unimportant." Maybe they'll serve the purpose of just being a human, and just loving someone else.

So what - it's my opinion.

Another idea - why don't we extract the cells from embryos that are already dying, such as aborted babies?

Well, here's my issue with that. While these aborted embryos are subject to be destroyed anyway (an issue I still have problems justifying, but I'll tackle abortion later), it doesn't present a problem to work on them now. However, I see a problem with this in the future.

If people can justify in their minds the act of aborting their unbegotten babies, then there will be more abortions. If people can say "hey, I'm helping science" then it can justify, in their minds, aborting the potential humans they carry within themselves. Immoral doctors can try to talk potential parents into aborting when it's not necessary. Oh, and don't be so naive as to think there's no such thing as an immoral doctor.

This, to me, is the inverse route we need to take. No matter how you look at it, or how you justify it in your mind, you have to kill a life. I realize the potential in this research, and that's why we need to take certain routes to investigate matters more closely. Just today, I read an article where a scientist might be able to extract stem cells without killing the embryo. Things like this are very important, and they have my full support.

I know, also, that everyone is real quick to jump on the "Down-With-Bush" bandwagon. I'm not so fast to jump on that buggy. Bush realizes the potential involved here, too, and that's why he's provided funding for this research - the only president to do so, I might add - and that list includes Clinton. Bush realizes the potential problems with it as well, and that's why the precautions are set up.

But hey, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe killing potential life is the best way to save life.

Maybe not.

The Role Of Sacraments

From Fr. Jordan Stratford's blog: Living Gnosticism: 20 Questions

6. If the sacraments don’t lead to gnosis, automatically or even eventually, what’s the role/need for the sacraments in Gnosticism?

A.

The Seven Sacraments of the church are to be recognized as ceremonial for the most part, and ritualistic as a lesser part. While the sacraments themselves do not confer gnosis, knowledge, grace, or wisdom, they are understood to be a symbolic manifestation of such, and should thereby be treated as an important step in the spiritual life of the subject.

If there were no sacraments, Divine awareness would still be extant. However, as a traditional practice, and as a guide for the seeker, the sacraments are in place to allow those seeking the path a way to allow themselves in a conscious manner to succumb to the fruits of Divine grace. I would equate it to turning the TV off to think clearly.

So the Seven Sacraments, while not necessarily needed, are not altogether useless either. From a traditional standpoint, they serve the goal of being a way to ceremonially proceed through the spiritual life.

I've been looking more into the sacraments from a traditional standpoint in my studies with the AJC. There's a big emphasis on the sacramental tradition, and I'm slowly understanding more of this "churchy" stuff. I hope to better understand the role that the sacraments play as I continue my lessons and hope I can portray a better understanding to the community.

I AM

And Moses said unto God, Behold, when I come unto the children of Israel, and shall say unto them, The God of your fathers hath sent me unto you; and they shall say to me, What is his name? what shall I say unto them?And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you.

(Exodus 3:13-14)


I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last.

(Revelations 22:13)


For I am the first and the last.
I am the honored one and the scorned one.
I am the whore and the holy one.
I am the wife and the virgin.

(Thunder: The Perfect Mind)


I am not your rolling wheels
I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride
I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind
I am the sky here
I am not your automn moon
I am the night

(Audioslave: I Am the Highway)

Okay, so that last one was from a song. But it still counts. ;-)

Expressing Gnosticism

From Fr. Jordan Stratford's blog: Living Gnosticism: 20 Questions

4. How do you express your Gnosticism in your daily life?

A. I try to apply it several different ways.

First, I slow down. Too many people miss the simple pleasures in life because they’re in such a hurry to do everything. I try not to rush too much from place to place, because I don’t want to rush through my sensations. I like my sense of smell, personally. I love to smell the roses that bloom in my yard, to smell the trees around me, and take a big breath of fresh air.

I like to also show compassion wherever I go; my wife often yells at me because I’d rather put the spider outside instead of stepping on it. This isn't always easy, however. It's usually easier to be the apathetic stranger who never helps anyone. I go to blood drives. I donate money. When possible, I try to volunteer my help (doesn't have to be to charities; just helping someone move is enough).

While it is often a struggle, I try to realize that most people are affected by their surroundings, whether positive or negative. Therefore, when I’m around other people, I try to be a positive force, so that they will take that bit of positivity to the next person. If I can brighten up someone’s day on Tuesday, that might keep them from killing themselves or someone else years later.

Babysteps.

Everything I practice flows naturally from within. I don't force myself to be the way I am. As the saying goes, "I AM THAT I AM." Gnosis expresses itself. You just have to allow it to do so.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no saint. But I have a terrible attack from my "conscience" whenever I don't follow through with my initial feelings. The Gospel of Thomas gives an excellent saying regarding the conscience (at least that's my take):

If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.

Gospel of Thomas
Saying 70

Pax

Honor Thy Gnosis

"What makes us free is the Gnosis"

Credo
Apostolic Johannite Church

I'm constantly finding myself in a struggle to define in terms what "Gnosticism" is. Because of this, I'm put in a position to rationalize the experience. While this doesn't lead to automatic suppression of any such experience, it can when the gnosis is ignored for the Gnosticism.

With this in mind, I've almost found a definition of Gnosticism that I'm happy with. Through silent observation of dialogue over at Jordan Stratford's blog, I saw a good opportunity to actually sum up in words what it means. Sorry, Jordan+, if I'm stealing any such definition.

Gnosticism comes from the Greek word "gnosis." Gnosis is a universal experience of the Divine that exists within and around every religion. Gnosticism is a specific religion designed to amplify and enhance the experience of Gnosis.

There you have it.

This is as simple a definition as I can give without trying to TELL someone what Gnosis is (a task that can prove quite difficult). As well, I think it honors the experience of gnosis as being central to Gnosticism.

Peace.

It's Not Said Enough...

I love you.

Three simple words that have so much impact on another person's spirit. Even if we know how another person loves us, it is of great comfort when we hear the words come out of their mouth.

And yet, we still have problems saying it often. We don't think about saying it to our loved ones because we take them for granted. We don't realize that they might not be here tomorrow.

Intellectually, there's some pressure to say "I love you." If it's a spouse or a dating partner, it can come fairly easy after the first time it has been said. If it's a relative or a friend, it can feel awkward. And why? Because we don't like letting our guard down. Because we don't like feeling vulnerable. Because when we express our emotions, we let down our exterior blockade of sensitivity and reveal our true self.

I love you.

People have often felt regret when a loved one has passed and they didn't get to say "I love you" before they died. And yet, they continue through their lives without saying it to the people they can still express it to. They still live in their shielded box, guarded from emotive interaction.

Here and now, I say it to you all.

I love you.

My friends, my brothers, my sisters, parents and lovers: I love you all. Each one of you. I may disagree with you, I may believe differently from you...but I will never stop loving you.

To those who would call themselves my enemy...I hope you know that I will continue to love you, even if you attack me. If my plane is driven into a building, I will still love you.

If my country and my government fights with yours, I will still love you.

If you call yourself my friend, I love you still. That bond will never be broken. No trespass will ever stray my feelings. I love you still, now and forever.

If you call yourself my brother, or my sister, I love you.

If you call yourself a stranger, I love you. If there's ever anything I can do to help you, just ask. I will always be here for you. I love you.

If you think you're too strong for my love, I'm here when you fall. I love you, and I'll never abandon you.

I only want to help. I am sorry if I offend. I hope for the best, and I see God in everyone. Each person is good, no matter their crimes or trespasses. Everyone deserves our love.

I love you.

My Fight With Guilt

Yesterday, my long time friend - Jeremy Mixon - died.

Little background:

Jeremy and I have known each other for about 7 years. We met when he was 14 and I was 15, and we shared an apartment when we both moved out of our parents houses. We've been the best of friends. We've gone through a lot together - girlfriends, jobs, family issues, our apartment getting broken into, marriage, etc. He's been an important part of my life over the last decade.

When I got married (a little less than a year ago) we started to drift a little, mainly because I was now married and he was still leading the "crazy" single life.

Jeremy had Meningitis, which is a bacterial infection in your blood stream that can cause seizures. His sister, Amanda (and also one of my ex-girlfriends), found him in his bedroom on August 11 having a seizure. They told me the first seizure he had lasted almost an hour, causing serious damage to his brain. It knocked him into a coma, and he had seizures on and off.

The doctors said he had about a 5% chance of survival. There wasn't anything else they could do. His mother, knowing his intentions, respected Jeremy's wishes - he never wanted to be a vegetable. So, yesterday morning, she decided to take Jeremy off the life support.

I talked to her the day before she did it. I tried not to be too forceful, but I did express my opinion - I think life should always be given the chance. I don't think I fought for him enough.

However, in trying to remain tactful, I do feel obligated to honor the decision that was made.

I felt guilty for not being able to influence situations that were unfolding right before my eyes. I felt helpless for not being able to extend my hand to help Jeremy. I felt guilty.

After a few corresponding letters to Rev. Ken+ of the AJC, I have been helped back to my path. I realize now...the guilt is pointless. My range of influence has limits, and I can only extend my aide to those that now need it - his family. This is the role I need to be in right now - not feeling guilty about situations that I cannot help.

I love Jeremy, and he knew it. He was a brother to me without ever having been a brother. I will miss his company, his jokes, and his goofball approach to life. It's time to let my own selfish guilt go, and help those in the present - the ones who are still within my sphere of influence.

Jeremy Lamar Mixon

Jeremy Lamar Mixon

July 22, 1985 - August 16, 2006

Friend, side-kick, and brother. We will miss you very much. Good luck to you in your next adventure to this earthly realm.

I love you, my brother.

Do not stand at my grave and forever weep.

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn’s rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and forever cry.

I am not there.

I did not die.

I Did Not Die

Melinda Sue Pacho

Living Gnosticism: Question 3

From Fr. Jordan Stratford's blog: Living Gnosticism: 20 Questions

3.
(a) As a Gnostic, have you achieved gnosis?
(b) What is your experience of gnosis?
(c) If gnosis is “knowledge”of the Divine, do you believe in God?

A.
(a)I believe I have, but in sprinkles. It came the first time when I stopped trying to find gnosis outside of myself. When I stopped saying "now I'm going to find gnosis", it came. You don't find gnosis...you realize it.

(b)For me, Gnosis is not a “knowledge” per se, but more of a realization of the spirit in relation to the rest of reality. When focused, I can center myself on just my consciousness, and feel the difference between that awareness and mere bodily sensations. When gnosis is realized, you know that what we normally define as "reality" is the mere illusion of electrical impulses to the brain (I know, sounds like another Matrix cliche, but it's the truth). When you can differentiate between the sense of bodily reality and the actual *conscious*, then you are there. This is the greater consciousness.

(c) To be in touch with that part of your consciousness - to truly be aware of reality - is to have that communion with the Divine. To this end, there is no need - or room - for“belief” in God. Belief requires faith. Faith, by its definition, requires that you hold true to ideas that you cannot undoubtedly know beyond doubt. You don’t need to believe because you *know*.

Living Gnosticism: Question 2

From Fr. Jordan Stratford's blog: Living Gnosticism: 20 Questions

2. Is Gnosticism a distinct religion, an approach to religion, or a sect within another religion?

A. Gnosticism can be all three. For me, it is a distinct religion. I practice my daily routines while trying to maintain an outlook on life through my own gnosis. For someone else, it can be an approach to religion: you can have gnosis, which for the individual is very concrete awareness - yet you can believe anything about that awareness and its relationto reality. Still others look at Gnosticism as a sub-sect of Christianity, because the two grew together within the same roots.


Gnosticism can be absorbed through many approaches.

For some, Gnosticism is the "true" Christianity, the religion that Jesus really intended Christianity to be, but instead it got corrupted into what the current form is today. These Gnostics often refer to themselves as Gnostic Christians, which seemingly makes it a distinct sect of Christianity but still a Christianity nonetheless.

Others, of the modern day philosophy, tend to encompass Gnosticism as an "approach" to religion, being able to apply a Gnostic perspective to any set of beliefs. With this form, one can believe absolutely anything about Gnosticism, but Gnosis is always the key ingredient. For instance, you can follow Islam or Christianity with a search for the "truth," which can be applied aptly as "gnosis."

For me, Gnosticism is a distinct religion. *Most* Christians will not associate with the term "Gnosticism," as this seems to bring the ancient words of "heretic" and "blasphemer" back to the table. The modern day definition of "Christianity" has become so far gone from what I hold to be true that I don't even call myself "Christian" anymore. I still identify with the Christ, but not to "Christianity." And of course, the Jews and the Muslims don't really identify with Gnosticism either.

We really, then, have no choice but to accept Gnosticism as anything other than valid through the minds and beliefs of its own followers, which would make it a distinct religious view and practice. It seems to me that it is easy to bring a Gnostic perspective to any religion, as Gnosis is really the base to any spirituality, but you can't bring any religious perspective to Gnosticism.

Of course that's just my opinion.

Living Gnosticism: Question 1

From Fr. Jordan Stratford's blog: Living Gnosticism: 20 Questions

1. What’s the difference between gnosis and Gnosticism?

A. Gnosis is a realization of awareness; an understanding of reality. Gnosticism is the approach to life with the understanding of Gnosis.


Gnosis, in its original Greek form, is "experiential knowledge." The Greeks, when using this word, often used it in reference to "knowledge of the Divine." While I don't actually believe this is a great definition, it is a fair one. In fact, Gnosis is a "knowledge" with "Divine" intuitions. But I would rather use the word "awareness." After all, gnosis is not a knowledge that you seek outside of yourself, such as "intellectual knowledge." You can't read about gnosis and suddenly understand what it is. There is no school that helps confer this special "experiential" knowledge unto you.

It's like reading a book about brain surgery. Read all you like, take as many tests as you like, but you will never be able to perform brain surgery unless you have the adequate knowledge - that is, experience. So with this understanding of gnosis, I bring you to this definition: Gnosis is awareness of the self within reality and the relation of the self with the rest of reality.

That being said, Gnosticism and Gnosis are two different animals.

If a Buddhist practices Buddhism, does it automatically make him/her enlightened? Does it necessarily mean that they even understand what enlightenment is? No. But it is an active approach to enlightenment. The same principle is true of Gnosticism.

Gnosticism is (1) an active approach to gnosis, and (2) a view, interpretation, and overall effect on life through the experience(s) of gnosis. One does not necessarily have to HAVE gnosis in order to practice Gnosticism, which is seemingly a common misinterpretation from people both inside and outside of Gnosticism, and even some clergy members. The idea that you can't practice Gnosticism without having gnosis is just unfounded, and in my opinion completely defeats the purpose behind a Gnostic movement.

Gnosticism is a practice, through which is helpful for realization but not totally necessary for the experience of gnosis. One can realize gnosis, and never actually practice Gnosticism. However, Gnosticism is practiced mainly and chiefly through the quest for and the experience of Gnosis.

My Job and My Passion

I'm tired.

No, really.

I've just finished working 12 days straight, maybe 130 hours or so. Management changes within one of the regions that my company operates have left the need for some well trained managers to "step up," as the company puts it.

So I work. I go where I'm needed, stay at the grind all day, and go home. No one asks my opinions, but everyone wants my help.

I come home, and my wife - God bless her...she's so beautiful. She's three and a half months pregnant, and she is trying so hard to help me. She washes my clothes, cooks me dinner...she's great. She puts up with my long hours at work, and listens to my ramblings about my job and my religion. She cares nothing about Gnosticism, other than what it means to me. She tries to act like she cares, but I know she doesn't. It's not her fault. It's my thing, not hers.

So I study. I write my own little opinions on things that I am told to reflect on, and then I read and study some more. It's brain work, but it's what I need.

I go to bed, and then I wake up and do it again the next day.

I realized this afternoon, while I was working out in the sun, that my job was pretty pointless. There's no real need for the line of work that I'm in, as it's just another mindless job that appreciates hard mucles. For those who don't know, I am a field manager for corporate owned carwash company.

Pretty brainless work, I might add. I work, I help my customers, and I tend to my employees. My job could disappear off the face of the planet tomorrow, and nothing in this world would change.

This is my outlet - Gnosticism. Where I change into something different is here, away from my job. I am Joe, a private practicing Gnostic with aspiring hopes to join the Priesthood of the Apostolic Johannite Church, an esoteric gnostic communion. This is where I will make the difference that I seek in the world. This is where my work becomes important. This is what I have a passion for.

My job is important to me and my family. It helps me sustain a respectable atmosphere in the community with ups and downs. It is my job.

Gnosticism, however - that's my life. Gnosis is my passion.

Gnostic Buddhism

From wikipedia.org

The Four Noble Truths

1. Birth is suffering, aging is suffering, illness is suffering, death is suffering; union with what is displeasing is suffering; separation from what is pleasing is suffering; not to get what one wants is suffering; in brief, the five aggregates subject to clinging are suffering.

2. It is this craving which leads to renewed existence, accompanied by delight and lust, seeking delight here and there; that is, craving for sensual pleasures, craving for existence, craving for extermination.

3. It is the remainderless fading away and cessation of that same craving, the giving up and relinquishing of it, freedom from it, and non-reliance on it.

4. It is this path that ends suffering - right view, right intention, right speech, right action, right livelihood, right effort, right mindfulness, right concentration."

The Crisis

I originally wanted to make a post on the topic of "I AM" in spiritual terms, but I'll save that for later when I have a bit more time to reflect.

I have chosen instead to address the political issues in the Middle East.

When I have read the articles and seen the stories on the news, it seems that most of the world is condemning Israel for its use of "excessive force" during this military campaign. It is also apparent that some of this blame is issued to Hezbollah, but it feels only to a lesser extent, sort of like "oh, yeah, Hezbollah is bad too."

First of all, I think it's absurd to classify military campaigns as "excessive force," because by it's very nature it is the destruction of property and lives. This should *always* be considered "excessive force."

Secondly, Israel is the only one of the two that is actually trying NOT to hit civilians, or at least apologetic and acknowledging of the fact that it's a terrible thing to happen in a war. Hezbollah has neither apologized, nor has it even regretted its use of force on Jewish and Israeli civilians. As a matter of fact, it's quite proud of its use of force against civilians.

Hezbollah was originally founded for one sole purpose: the destruction of Israel. Pure and simple. Hezbollah has built tunnels leading towards Israel, launched rockets into the home of Israelis, captured Israeli soldiers, killed Jews...all before Israel ever attacked them.

It must be considered: the Israelis are acting in an aggressive manner. However, their intentions are to defend themselves from further attacks from a force that is hellbent on destroying them. It's really easy for us to say "they should just have a cease-fire" all the way over here, away from the fighting. But these people have lived with this terrorism and destruction their entire lives. You won't hear of Israeli suicide bombers walking into a Muslim train station. But it happens to Israelis, ALL THE TIME.

But don't stop here and think I fully support Israel here, either. No, Israel has its own guilt in this squabble as well. With its support from the USA, Israel is charging in hard, almost like jumping in head first into a foot-deep river. There seems like there is no caution, no regard for the displacement and destruction of those trying to stay OUT of the violence.

It was Israel who first laid this cross to burn three-thousand years ago. It was the Jews of old who were so intolerant of other religions that they argued that God himself ordered the destruction of the very lives he created in the first place. It was out of the Jewish faith that Islam was born, and with it its very own intolerance. The problem today is that neither of these two are the same religion as their ancestors intended them to be. Neither of these two have discovered their own esoteric roots. They just hear "kill for God" and that's what is percieved.

Military campaigns will never stop the fighting. They will only add to the number of people directly affected, and increase the number of people willing to retaliate. Force only adds force.

It's hard for me to completely condemn Israel for its reponse because I can understand the tiresome attacks from the radical Muslims trying to destroy their way of life. It's also hard for me to completely support them because they have destroyed so many peaceable lives in this battle as well. But more violence will not solve their problems.

It is very hard to live with someone who wants to kill you. Both the Muslims and the Jews are guilty of this attitude. I can only pray that more moderates are born on both sides and civility and peace can prevail.

If not, death will reign.

A Modern Day Gnostic

(Complete with Templar Cross sweatband)

For those of you who can't exactly get a great visual from the pic in the side bar, here's one of my pics from a day on the job.

How professional...how neat and clean...perfect example of management...

What a goof...

Anyway, just decided to post for the curious.

Priesthood

So, I've applied and been accepted into the Apostolic Johannite Church Priesthood Formation Program.

I'm very excited about this. I've found a place (or it found me) to further study and explore Gnosticism - and in turn reflect on my own Gnosis.

To put it simply, I will post as often as I can, and this should not interfere too much with that (seeing as I post mainly when I'm at work, heh heh...). However, this blog will also be a way for me to express and reflect my own learnings as I pour my very few hours of free time every week over all these books I'm supposed to read. Good thing I got most of them already...

Congratulations to all my brothers and sister(s?) who are also beginning their studies towards ordination!

PAX

Right and Wrong

Because I am a strict advocate of questioning reality and our relation to it, I felt a need to throw some words up here about it.

Right and Wrong are concepts that humans have struggled with since the beginnings of civilization. As a matter of fact, you can almost define "civilization" as being a group of people with concepts of right and wrong. You can certainly bet that any civilization will view themselves (or ourselves) as having solid, concrete rules in place to ensure that right and wrong are no longer issues.

While this is a good approach in theory, it nearly always falls short of its goals. Hence, a smaller group of people is usually assembled within the larger group to debate about topics and matters of right and wrong.

After a period of time, what is considered right and wrong is usually adopted by society as a "norm." As people evolve towards a higher level of conscience, different approaches to right and wrong often change the society's point of view as to whether their "norm" is right or wrong.

Examples:

(a) Slavery
Up until a couple hundred years ago, slavery was widespread throughout the world. It was considered no problem at all to enlist the aid of a slave to do the work of whatever your heart desired. Since society has began questioning morality, slavery has since been outlawed in nearly all modern society.

(b) Pedophilia
Up until a couple hundred years ago, people would get married at 12 and 13 years of age. A woman was considered adult as soon as she hit her menstrual cycle. A boy was considered adult as soon as he went through puberty. Jewish law states that a boy is an adult at 12-years-old. Muhammed (in Islam) was actually married to a 9-year-old. Within the last couple of hundred years, however, society has viewed the ages and maturity levels of minors quite differently and changed its view on the morality of youthful relationships.

(c) Legal Age
It has been adopted as a norm for our youth today to figure that they are adults when they reach the age of 18. As they reach this age, more opportunities become available for these youths. Smoking, joining the military, getting married, etc. This was another non-existent issue until a couple hundred years ago when people reflected on the maturity of youths, and issued limits on their ages. While it is considered by society to accept a youth into adulthood at age 18, one can drive at age 16, and can't drink alcohol until age 21. Yet, society has accepted 18 as the "legal age."

(d) Marriage
Society has made a collective approach to marriage as being between a man and a woman. While it is not quite clear where we derive this idea of marriage from, society is beginning to reflect what is right and wrong about marriage. Homosexuals are being considered to be given as much right as heterosexuals in marrital issues. Society is in the process of questioning the norm of its morality, and changing it. It has already done so with marriage a few times in history, as it used to be common place for one to marry more than one spouse and even at times marry one's sibling. This is considered immoral by today's standards.


These are just a few examples. So what is it exactly that determines society's morality? Is it a collective conscience that decides what works and what doesn't?

I believe that society is evolving. The more it evolves, the better its values towards preserving humanity and happiness come about. Morality is an evolutionary inevitability, and it is society that sets the rules. Is society always right? No. Will it eventually make amends with right and wrong? Sure. All the examples above support the idea that society is evolving towards a better standard of right and wrong in its morality.

Whether it's always going to be right and wrong, we can only guess. But I do suggest that we, as individuals, always keep our minds open when thinking about these issues. Never let society alone tell you what is right and wrong. We each are able to determine morality.

The Brother of Ignorance: APATHY

There is an old joke that I have always thought really funny:

Reporter: Excuse me, sir, but I'd like to get your opinion on something. What do you think of ignorance and apathy in this country?

Sir: I don't know, and I don't care.

This is a great example of what apathy is. It is a lack of care.

The problem with apathy is that it perpetuates a misguided feeling of separation from the whole. If, for instance, someone is in a problematic situation that you could help them out of, apathy stands between you two and prevents you from caring about the well-being of that other person. It doesn't effect me, so who cares?

There is an excellent parable in Luke that, while probably not it's intended meaning, expresses the trouble with apathy:

29But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbour?
30And Jesus answering said, A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead.
31And by chance there came down a certain priest that way: and when he saw him, he passed by on the other side.
32And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him, and passed by on the other side.
33But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him,
34And went to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring in oil and wine, and set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him.
35And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host, and said unto him, Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again, I will repay thee.
36Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbour unto him that fell among the thieves?

While I believe Jesus in this passage was actually displaying a feeling of good neighborship for men between each other, only a blind man could see past the obvious implications here. Priests, considered to be men of God, and Levites - God's servants - are the characters in the parable who show the apathy. This shows that anyone can feel apathetic towards a situation.

What we must be careful about in practice is being mindful towards humanity. Why don't more people give blood? Why is there so much poverty in the world? Why does anyone, in the modern world today, suffer beyond any extreme?

The problem comes from apathy. If more people cared what happened to others, obviously, there would be fewer problems. It doesn't necessarily mean that NO ONE would have problems, as this is a fact of life, but we could definitely allow an easier way to survive.

Apathy doesn't even have to stop with poverty. Our school systems suffer because we lack resources (or a better appropriation of resources). Why? Because fewer people care about the process of education. It doesn't effect them, so they don't feel a need to do anything about it. This breeds more apathy.

Most people can recall with joy an instance in their life when someone showed an act of kindness towards them for no reason. This, also, can breed and populate more kindness within humanity. How much more do you think we can spread the feeling if we TRY to be mindful towards others as often as possible?

Go to blood drives, donate money...and if you're broke, donate TIME. You have your own currency to help the rest of humanity. Spend it.

Do not fall in love with apathy. We all live in this world together - so we must help everyone else survive. If you only help those who help you, what reward is there in that?

The Faith Of a Gnostic

There seems to be some misunderstandings about Gnostics and their relation to "faith" as a substantial force in religious thinking.

Some believe that Gnostics require no faith - they simply "know" what they have to. To an extent, this is true. This has led some to believe that Gnosis is impossible to reach because they just don't "know" what it is they're supposed to know. It's also led to an elitist theory of Gnosticism by those who question its validity, in that we are perceived as believing that only we "know." I will try to shed some light on this, and help clarify a little.

Faith, in and of itself, is a very important step in the Gnostic path. In order to first start down your path, you have to feel some problem in the world - more or less a feeling of "this isn't right." For the Religious, we might call this "questioning your faith." It is only questioning your faith in someone else's beliefs, however.

It might then seem a little lonely because one feels that there is no one who thinks the same. Some might like this feeling of isolation, and a feeling of rebellion of the Whole can take place. This is not always bad, or even mostly bad, as it is just another way to walk down the path.

For the Gnostic, to start down a path to Gnosis is to have faith that he/she will become aware of Gnosis. You have to believe it's there in order to proceed. If you are of the belief that the idea of realizing Gnosis is all illusion, you will more than likely drown yourself out of the sensations neccesary to realize Gnosis.

When Gnosis is finally surfaced - when it is brought to the conscious level - it is only then that it becomes a matter of "knowing." Faith is no longer a big issue, but it is still there. You have to have faith in your knowledge to believe it's real. You have to know that what you are feeling is real, and you have to believe it's real. This, of course, is not a big problem. It's like believing you got cut when you see your finger bleeding.

To put it lightly, Gnosticism is a faithful religious practice. However, it's not based off faith, it's based off the experience of Gnosis. The goal is not to stop at faith, but to keep going until it's no longer a matter of faith. Once that point is reached, a maze of other reflective goals appear, so that it never satisfies a person to stop searching for deeper and better understanding of said knowledge.

Faith is not salvific. Faith is merely a step towards that salvation. Gnosis is the goal.

Joshua or Isabelle Daher

Almost 11 weeks old!

It's getting good. Trying to stay relaxed. Breathe.

I feel a sense of amazement at this whole pregnancy. I heard his/her heartbeat today, and I almost cried. It really overcame me. I didn't know I'd get so attached this early. I can't wait!

Gnosis Is Not Gained

We are here for Gnosis. This is the point. That's why you're on this site, and why you spend countless hours searching for answers. Gnosis is the point of existence. So how do you get it?

The answer, silly, is that you don't GET gnosis. You already have it. You just have to become AWARE that you have it.

Gnosis is awareness of being aware. It is the point to where we long to return. It is realizing the source of self. You become aware of your gnosis, and you realize what/who "I AM." The "I Am" here, of course, is the spirit of you, me, and the Divine.

Point here is: stop looking for gnosis outside of yourself. Realize that it's with you, constantly. There is no need to seek it out.

Be still. Stop thinking. Realize.
You know.

Gnosticism

Gnosticism - The view of life through an experience of gnosis.

There have been a few places where struggling to define Gnosticism in theological terms has led to even bigger and more horrible discussions about the use and general relevance of theology in Gnosticism to begin with. It occurs to me that some might be trying to argue too much about word meanings and not enough on the actual intent on the message.

From what I've seen, Gnosticism is a very secluded religion. There are no big huge Gnostic megachurches, and there are no cathedrals. You can't just walk down the street and join a Gnostic church, much less find a priest or minister to help you better understand the experience of gnosis, even if you just want help becoming aware of it yourself. The horrible truth of it is many miss out on the freedom of gnosis because we cannot comfortably give a concise definition of Gnosticism. When one who has not become aware of Gnosis approaches Gnosticism, he/she will either be interested or not. To those who are not interested, they usually require more information at a greater depth.

To argue whether this is important seems to be a rediculous point to take. If we are to share our gnosis with others, we must invite others to the table. We must take an approach to defining what it is we view Gnosticism as, not so we feel better at night, but so we can open our doors to those who might show interest in the field.

I had never even heard of Gnosticism until three years ago. This was not because I was happy with my religion and was not searching. This was not because I didn't read a lot, or because I just didn't look for the answers. I looked, trust me. I had heard of Wicca and Fairy Magic and Masons, but not Gnosticism in general. I hadn't heard of it because it is not taken seriously as a religion, and therefore few people talk about it.

I don't believe we should try to define Gnosticism for ourselves to feel better about what we practice. I believe we should look for a theological definition that is acedemically accepted so that we may begin the processes of approaching a scholarly study of it.

We must make Gnosticism accessible to people of all walks, and in the modern world, that's through our educational processes. If we cannot explore a Gnostic defintion of Gnosticism, our way of life will only be cycled between a very few. The fact that this is the case now is a travesty.

Gnosis of the Soul

It is not coarse, not fine, not short, not long, . . without shadow, without darkness, without air and without space, intangible, odorless, tasteless, without eye, without ear, without voice, without mind, without energy, without breath, without mouth . . unaging, undying, without fear, immortal, without stain, without measure, without inside and without inside.

[Brihadaranyaka 3.8.8]

Upanishads

Bible Worship

Here in the deep south, I reside in an area commonly referred to as "the Bible Belt." What this means is that there are a bunch of Southern Baptists and Anglo-Protestant movements that all seem to derive their message from one source: the Holy Bible.

While it has been a Christian source of inspiration for centuries, it's growing reputation for being the "inerrant word of God" has actually created a purely brainwashed culture. Where normally sane, rational, intelligent people would collaborate and decide whether general information is acurate or trustworthy, there seems to be a lack of such common sense when the Bible, or what is perceived to be Biblical teachings, is brought into the mix.

While drawing inspiration from historical and religious related texts is quite honorable, the exagerrated form in question is quite reasonably a step backwards.

For example: the issue has been brought to many school boards across the country whether the Theory of Evolution should be taught as school curriculum. They (those who oppose evolution) argue that the Theory of Evolution has not been proven, and that they have an equally valid theory which includes God into the mix, and therefore, if evolution is taught, so must their Intelligent Design theory - in the interest of "fairness." Of course, the holes in their train of thought are (1) Evolution has been proven (the "theory"is not whether evolution exists, but about the mechanics of evolution, i.e. how it works), (2) there is no religious bias in the scientific methods to determine evolution, and (3) their Intelligent Design theory has no provable scientific thought and cannot be taken as anything other than faith. To teach a particular brand of "faith" in school and limiting the reliablity of proven testable theories is against moral ethics and common reason.

The basis of the argument for Intelligent Design is that they do not except the Theory of Evolution because it goes against their religious beliefs. Regardless of how it is presented, this is the obvious fact of the argument. And those that bring this debate to the table are generally going by the Biblical account of Genesis.

Why is it we can't have both? Why is it that if you believe in Evolution, you have to discount Divine involvement?

Many more books have been made to appease the two, and reconcile the two ideas as both being valid. This is a farce and should be treated as patronization.

The truth of it should be that the Bible, while inspirational and well written, is NOT from God. It is NOT the be-all end-all of the religious kingdom. Neither is the Qu'ran, nor the Torah (even though it is included in the Bible). When people start waking up to the conclusion that all these texts - including the discoveries of Nag Hammadi and the Dead Sea - are man's account of things in the natural and spiritual world and they are NOT God's rules on the subjects, an age of reason might take place, and from there a step into people's own spirituality can be explored.

To come to the conclusion that any of these texts contains the only answers we'll ever need is to eliminate any possibility of error, and in effect creates a circle of perfection around a material object. This leads to a form of idolatrous Bible worship, as one finds whatever means possible to defend its perfection.

The answers are not written down to find. They are not in an instruction book, or on the pages of some long lost text. The answers are within, as they have always been. All we have to do is look.

Reuniting Reality

Once given a proper look, ignorance can be percieved as the barrier which breaks down unification. This is not saying ignorance is stupidity, but rather a lack of knowing.

Once this is realized, the rest of the pieces fall like dominos. From ignorance is born separation, a feeling of one's self apart from the rest of the whole. Whether you can think it, know it, or feel it, all of humanity and nature is one. To view it scientifically, we are all gaseous molecules and atoms floating around in space, constantly colliding with one another and continually spawning new molecules and new forms. Take a few lenses off the microscope and yet still more mystery is unveiled. What we once thought of as "our body" is swarming with life forms, both parasitic and benign.

The point here is that reality is not so separate. What we view as "you" and "me" is in effect "us." The separateness that is felt between the two is simply an unconcious level of not being able to feel that atomic connection between each other.

Gnosis is, in some ways, a regaining of that feeling. To be able to feel your connection to the wholeness of nature is startling. It is a jolt of feeling that actually provides a sense of clarity. Enlightenment. Beginning as a realization of the self, i.e. the self beyond the physical, the clarity of the relation to the world is unveiled.

You find yourself being able to feel that you are not looking through your eyes, feeling with your hands, or breathing with your lungs. You find that "you" just "are." All other sensations are just the material way of intaking information. Each physical sensation is just another electrical impulse to the brain. You are almost able to shed the body, and consciously "float."

Beyond these experiences, the next goal is to be able to return to this state of mind. The more one can realize their gnosis, the easier it is to realize on a day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute, second to second basis.

Gnōthi Seauton

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”


Teilhard de Chardin
French Geologist, Priest, and Mystic
1881 - 1955

The Fight Against Pride

Having accomplished things is of great importance in this world of ours. There are those who have contributed a great deal towards humanity and there are still others who have done things to improve themselves. The focus here is not to eliminate glorifying accomplishments. The focus here is to eliminate glorifying yourself.

When one feels a sense of pride, it begets a kind of emotional seperateness. "I" have done something "no one else" has done before. "I" becomes something different from "us." Not only has it separated one from the whole, it has caused that one to elevate themselves above the whole. Even in the smallest sense, it has caused separation from the whole.

When one starts feeling a position of pride, it overcomes their ego. If that measure of success is not maintained, one will eventually find themselves depressed. Depression turns out more negativity, as it is just a gateway emotion for problems.

Being prideful about any separational qualities leads to inner trouble. Gay pride, black pride, school pride, nationalism...all forms of the same. This is not to say that one should not develope a sense of who one is, but it is to say that one should not use their abilities and accomplishments to determine who they are. The "self" never changes. It is the ego's perception of the self that changes. We must never percieve ourselves as greater or lesser than the rest of the whole.

Develope yourself with most humble intentions, for "the wise man walks always with his head bowed, humble as the dust."

The Dream That Must Be Interpreted

This place is a dream.

Only a sleeper considers it real.
Then death comes like dawn,
and you wake up laughing
at what you thought was your grief.

But there's a difference with this dream.

Everything cruel and unconscious
done in the illusion of the present world,
all that does not fade away at the death-waking.

It stays,
and it must be interpreted.

All the mean laughing,
all the quick, sexual wanting,
those torn coats of Joseph,
they change into powerful wolves
that you must face.

The retaliation that sometimes comes now,
the swift, payback hit,
is just a boy's game
to what the other will be.

You know about circumcision here.

It's full castration there!

And this groggy time we live,
this is what it's like:

A man goes to sleep in the town
where he has always lived, and he dreams he's living
in another town.

In the dream, he doesn't remember
the town he's sleeping in his bed in. He believes
the reality of the dream town.

The world is that kind of sleep.

The dust of many crumbled cities
settles over us like a forgetful doze,
but we are older than those cities.

We began
as a mineral. We emerged into plant life
and into the animal state, and then into being human,
and always we have forgotten our former states,
except in early spring when we slightly recall
being green again.

That's how a young person turns
toward a teacher. That's how a baby leans
toward the breast, without knowing the secret
of its desire, yet turning instinctively.

Humankind is being led along an evolving course,
through this migration of intelligences,
and though we seem to be sleeping,
there is an inner wakefulness
that directs the dream,
and that will eventually startle us back
to the truth of who we are.

- Jelaluddin Rumi, 13th century mystic poet

Illuminary Gnosis

Jesus said, "Preach from your housetops that which you will hear in your ear. For no one lights a lamp and puts it under a bushel, nor does he put it in a hidden place, but rather he sets it on a lampstand so that everyone who enters and leaves will see its light."

Gospel of Thomas
Saying 33

The transmutation that is brought about by gnosis on an individual's conscience causes one to undergo a spiritual illumination. One could call this awareness, or enlightenment, or moksha, or rapture, etc., etc. In each case one feels compelled to share this experience with others. Whether through art, poetry, charity, or just common courtesy. The changes one goes through spiritually effects the way in which you approach life - not just man, but ALL life.

One notices the injustices in the world at a greater depth. Situations where one might have felt one way prior to gnosis might bring about an entirely different attitude after. One finds that morality is not an exterior component of life, because it can be judged from within. Rules and regulations have no standing because one feels what is right and wrong, spiritually as well as materially, and it is through this awareness that one carries on one's life.

In certain circumstances, one feels compelled to not only be a certain way towards humanity, but to also spread the experience to others. It is this feeling that the Gospel of Thomas addresses. This passage tells us that it's not only okay, but it is expected to feel this way. We must spread our gnosis.

World Wide Praxis

A recent article on MSNBC.com says that billionaire William Buffett will be giving the bulk of his fortune to five charitable organizations.

Maybe there's hope for business men in heaven afterall, huh? ;-)

Read the whole article here.

I Beat the Archons...

That's right. I beat them. I destroyed them. They thought they had me, but I blew them out of the water.

How did I do it?

As I was cleaning the toilet paper out of the tree in my front yard, I found myself amazingly perturbed. If I find the kids who did this, I'll kill them. It wasn't impossible. My neighbors across the street have a camera pointed right in front of their yard, so it could have easily caught the images of those who did it. Just wait. I'll get you.

As I got the easier pieces to reach down off the lower branches, I had to use a piece of 10-foot PVC pipe I had laying in my backyard to try to knock some more down. The toilet paper then seemed to kind of gracefully move around the pipe, making it more irritating and futile to get the rest down. I started laughing, out of no where, at the stupidity of the situation. I continued to laugh, and it came to me.

It's stupid to get mad at this. They're just kids, doing the same things I did when I was a kid. They did it to have a little fun, spice up their life, and get a reaction. I realized that by taking it personally, I just made myself mad. I actually started having a little fun getting the rest of the stuff out of the tree. I ended up making it a game. By the way, for future reference, a water hose with a jet stream sprayer seems to destroy any left over toilet paper.

The point here is to not let things like this get to you. It's so easy to get mad when you feel victimized, but there's really no point. You must realize that things happen, whether you like them or not, and your role in it is to learn to deal with it. In this situation, I didn't feed into the negative response. If you let negativity feed off of your emotions, it begets more negativity.

Remember to turn the other cheek. That's how you beat the Archons.

Peace to you.

Yeah, but define "sin"...

Sin, in it's literal definition, originally meant "to miss the mark," as in archery. A better definition would be to say "stray from the path." One would have little trouble in finding a completely different definition in the modern world, however, for the word "sin."

I would venture to say that the multitude today would define "sin" as being "an offense to God." Some would even argue that it's an action that directly damns you to Hell. Sin has been given an enormous amount of attention in most religious practices, and it is the deciding factor in deciding the "goodness" of others. Needless to say, it is definitely not the same word as the original meaning would suggest.

However, the biggest problem for "sin" in the modern world has not come from its definition, but it's come from what is considered a sin. The problems always arise when the subject of sinful nature comes about. How do you tell what a sin is? Or better, how can you tell what will "stray one from their path?" Even if you don't look at it as a hellworthy offense (which, by the way, I do not), you can still put some value towards sin as being something that can block one's path to gnosis.

So - who decides - and how - what a sin is?

The answer, as always, seems more pragmatic than one might assume.

It seems to me that a sin is anything that can pose negativity on one's self or someone else. This could mean different things to different people, but if you look at its core message, you can see a definition that's a little less broad.

The problem with most of the mass's conclusions about sin is that it usually comes from another source, for instance, the Bible or the Qu'ran. Usually, one cites a particular passage and it is decided then that a particular action or state of being is sinful. One might even take another person's message, or anything for that matter, and decide to use it as evidence against another and their "sin."

However, we all have a built in sense that allow us to be able to tell these things. It's called "common sense." The problem, one may notice, is that we're not raised to allow ourselves to know the difference between right and wrong, we're raised to be told what's sinful. We have so supressed our own gnostic insights in ourselves, that we have damned our children's chances as well.

We must always practice tolerance. As well, we must realize that negativity doesn't birth itself, it's always man-made. Ignorance about negativity is the biggest stumbling block in one's path to gnosis.

Peace be upon you all.

A Guide to Praxis

Praxis is a theological idea or concept put into practice.

As Gnostics, we are first and foremost a welcoming bunch. There are many things that we accept, many practices, many faiths. We are open to all those who wish to know, both on an individual basis and a mass congregational basis. The doors are always open to those interested.

As well, Gnostics *in general* try to allow others their own individual liberties. For instance, Gnosticism does not deny any person their right to their own religious preferences. While theological discussion is welcomed, there is no pushing tenets on others. We accept that each individual has their own path.

Praxis, for Gnostics, means putting into action the responsibility that gnosis gives. Once gnosis is understood, it is a means for determining one's own actions. Given the experiential awareness that is felt by gnosis, one is compelled to act kindly towards their fellow living creatures - all life is precious.

Praxis is very fundamental. We cannot ignore its signficance. Too many of us are getting fed up with the world and secluding ourselves amoungst our fellow gnostics. We must express ourselves and our gnosis. This is why we are drawn to it, and what is the message from it. There are a number of things we should do to advance the understanding of Gnosticism as a religious practice, so that those on the outside of it can be drawn to it as well.

What good can come from drinking the fresh water of the fountain, and not sharing it with others? What good does it do for one spirit to be free, and no more? We must do more. But what should we do? This is my proposal:


1. We must speak, but not interrupt.

2. We must correct, but not insist.

3. We must help and not expect reciprocation.

4. We must introduce our understandings, ideas, and concepts to the world, and understand that not every one will accept. But some will.

5. We must approach archonic powers with love. Do not let anger or irritation better you.

6. We must not be hipocritical.

7. We must not stand in the background on issues. Our debates are important, for we approach situations with KNOWLEDGE, not emotion.

8. We must provide assistance within our group. There are different levels of gnosis. A master can be an apprentice.

9. We must not be too open-minded. There are many paths one can walk to find gnosis, but one must go the right direction.

10. Judge actions, not people. Not all souls awaken at the same pace.


The world is already filled with people who do not act. We must distinguish ourselves, because our gnosis makes us distinguished.

Jesus and the Christ

First, I want to distinguish two things.

1. This post is about the Christ.

2. There is a difference between the Christ and Jesus.

That’s right. I said it. Jesus and “the Christ” are two separate characters. Let’s clarify:

1. Jesus: man, idol, star of the play

2. Christ: personification of Divine awareness (gnosis) in physical form, e.g. a person.

We’re going to try to knock down a wall here, and expand the layman’s understanding of the Jesus myth. For starters, Jesus, the son of Joseph, was a man, not a god. In particular - if you want to believe its historicity - he was more than likely a priest in a liberal Jewish monastic community called Qumran. If you don’t want to believe its historicity, then we’ll just say he was a Jewish rabbi.

Jesus, at some point in his ministry, is elevated to a point where he becomes a spiritual master for a group of twelve apprentices, better known as his disciples. Along the way he heals the sick, raises the dead, and preaches his “good news.” To this degree, he makes some powerful guys mad, and then they capture and crucify him. Of course, the story ends with him raising HIMSELF from the dead three days later.

This is Jesus. This is his story. Read it – believe it or don’t believe it. It doesn’t really matter. The story itself doesn’t matter, just the message.

What might that message be? The message is that there is a Christ within each of us.

The “Christ” was never meant to be a titular name, a last name, or even ascribed to one man for history’s sake. The Christ is an indwelling spirit. It is a sleeping giant within the psyche that awaits the proverbial buzz of the alarm clock. The Christ is an essence that, once awake, illuminates the unenlightened. The Christ is eternal.

For better comprehension, let’s say this:

A person achieves gnosis. They, in a split second, have felt bliss. The experience is remarkable. It’s transcendental. However, the struggle does not stop there. There is no cure-all, one-time-only spark, and then “okay, I’m going to just get up out of my body and go home.” This is just the first step. Through practice, patience, and repeated attacks by “archonic beings,” both physical and spiritual, one relives their gnosis repeatedly. Eventually, if they are lucky, they achieve a “grace,” which is to say, they realize gnosis and don’t go back. This is Christhood: To be able to look at things from a constant Gnostic awareness.

That’s the goal. And that’s the meaning of the Jesus story. This little ol’ Jewish fella just got right off his 40 day fast from the desert and jumped up on his gnostic high horse. And throughout the testaments, the moral of the story is: YOU CAN TOO.



33But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

King James Version
Matthew 6:33


20And when he was demanded of the Pharisees, when the kingdom of God should come, he answered them and said, The kingdom of God cometh not with observation:
21Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.

King James Version
Luke 17:20-21

Islamic Jihad

Okay, so everyone's familiar with the term. Jihad, the "holy war" fought by the Muslims against the Infidels, or the "people of no faith." The term has currently been applied to anything from an Iraqi blowing himself up in a car bomb to a group of terrorists flying planes into buildings. Is this really what a "jihad" is?

Well...of course not.

The actual term "jihad" literally translated from Arabic, means "struggle." It could be better applied to an act of spiritual struggle, one of faith. For example, one struggling to memorize the Qu'ran, or trying to push all earthly desires from his/her system. Either of these examples could be acceptable for context.

This is often called the "greater Jihad," because it involves one's soul. Since this is the most important to the faith, this one should be the most important to a Muslim.

However, there is a "lesser Jihad," which is usually applied to the physical struggle, such as a battle or a fight. The problem, you see, is that this Jihad was never intended to be an aggressive approach to the struggle. This was intended to be merely defensive. Since the word "Islam" literally means "peace," one is not pushed to combat with others, merely defend one's beliefs.

Such crude misunderstandings of these terms have bred many more misguided souls, both Muslim and not, into hatred and bigotry.

These literalist interpretations have brought violence to both "sides" of the "conflict" and continue to antagonize the situation to this day. Can anyone tell me, whether you agree with the methods or not, why there are bombs set off everyday in opposition to the United States' military in Iraq?

It's not because people don't want freedom in their country. They just don't want the "infidels" to give it to them. Any violence at all directed towards any Muslim is considered an act of "jihad," and therefore seems to encourage more senseless violence.

There has to be an end to war, particularly this one. But the end has to come from the aggressors, not those looking for stabilization. There will be no end, however, if views are not changed. There has to be a more moderate view on these teachings and those in the important positions (like the clerics and the politicians) need to direct that change.

There must be a Jihad. And it must take place within one's self - to search for peace, and put away bigotry and violence.

A Gnosis Institute?

There is something particularly interesting that will be introduced soon called the Gnosis Institute.

It seems that, if handled correctly, it could be a very important introduction into the Gnostic community.

Rev. Troy Pierce has a Q&A on the Gnosis Institute if anyone is interested. You can find it here.

You can also look at the Gnosis Institute yourself here.

Check it out.

Is Sophia a Gnostic Goddess?

For those who don't know the myth of Sophia, please go here.

In a sense, Sophia is not a Goddess, or even a God. Sophia is just a manifestation of the Divine. Sophia was not created - simply eminated.

Sophia, to some modern day gnostics, is a Divine Goddess to which we must seek communion with. She is as close to the human image of the Divine as we can ascribe a human image to.

However, this is all myth as well. You miss the meaning in the message if you allow it to become literal interpretation. To put it in terms understandable, Sophia is a metaphor. Literally translated, "Sophia" is Greek for "wisdom." We will also define "wisdom" as "understanding of knowledge."

To tie it all together:

gnosis - experiential knowledge
Sophia - wisdom
wisdom - gnosis understood


So, to look at it as an allegorical account, the myth of Sophia is actually a retelling of the route that wisdom has taken through time. The love of Wisdom, the fall of Wisdom, the abuse of Wisdom, and finally the return of Wisdom. These are the paths that "she" has taken, and it is through this path that we receive understanding of our gnosis today.

While it may appear that gnostics are just another sect of "goddess worshipers," you must also understand that most of the stories are either myth or allegory. To take any of it literally is to miss the point.

It is important to say that Sophia recieved redemption when she returned to the Ultimate Godhead. Therefore, it is to be understood that once gnosis is realized, redemption takes place within.

Sin vs Ignorance: Which is worse?

The concept in the "modern" world today, at least in religious circles (though whether you could call these circles modern or not is in question), is that the major problem with most of the world's inhabitants are believed to be "sinful" people. The Christians, Jews, and Muslims all feel this way about each other.

The Jews, the most oppressed of the three currently, feel that those who do not follow the Torah (literally, "the Law") are all doomed to feel Yahweh's wrath.

The Muslims, the fastest growing faith, feel that anyone who has not proclaimed that "Allah is the one true God and that Muhammed is his prophet" will go to populate the bowels of hell.

The Christians, the largest group, are just as stern in their response that you must "accept Christ and your Lord and Savior, and believe that he died on the cross to save you from...sins."


What kind of modern world is this? All three faiths are equally intollerable of each other, yet they all are "born" of the same Abrahamic descent. "No, that's not what he meant. You should die now." This is crazy.

What defines "sin?" Who knows? It seems to change with the seasons. It use to be hell-worthy to shave your beard. Some won't let you eat a pork chop. Whatever.

All these "sins" arise out of ignorance. Ignorance sets guidelines by which to live your day to day lives. Ignorance holds you to these beliefs, and sets you apart from your neighbors. The only real sin is to embrace ignorance.

It is then that you have really "missed the mark." Which, by the way, is the exact translation of the word "sin."

Embrace knowledge, patience, love, and kindness...for everyone. You then will be saved of "sin." That is the only way.

Allah and Yahweh as the Demiurge...

Demi-who?

Ah, the formidible opponent we Gnostics fight against daily.

This "Demiurge" is the sole responsible agent for the current Islamic Jihad, the Christian crusades of the middle ages, and the Jewish slaughtering of their neighboring tribes/countries in the Old Testemant. He is what most of the known world relies upon for appeasement, prays to for guidance, and hides from with fear.

The Demiurge is a horrible creator, with a jealous attitude toward any who dare question his authority. He is quick to smite even the smallest creature if the slightest desire of disobedience is felt. However, those who kill for, fight for, and represent him and his agents - called Archons, or rulers - will receive everything they've ever wanted.

He is not evil, however, nor are his agents. He is nothing like Satan, for the Demiurge actually loves those who follow faithfully. No, his crimes are not evil. His crimes are born out of ignorance. Ignorance of what? Ignorance of the fact that he is not the TRUE Divine.

And you know what's crazy?

HE'S NOT EVEN REAL...

That's right. It's myth. Metaphor. Not even the slightest iota of fact. The Demiurge is merely a representation of the real story. He is man's PERCEPTION of God. It's is for this PERCEPTION that people die daily in religious battles. It is for this PERCEPTION that people succumb to hatred for others. It is for this PERCEPTION that people are hated, bigoted against, and looked down on as "sinners."

This perception must be fought. His archons? Lust, Greed, Spite, Rage...the rulers of the world. The worst ruler of all though...Ignorance.

We must free our minds of any "perception" of the Divine, and release all the falacies of thought that "God is" or "God wants." We must realize that the Divine is without human concept. There is no characterization. There are no limits, no boundaries. Merely Divinity.

The only way to know the Divine is to "know" the Divine. This is gnosis. For this, we must look inside ourselves. We must meditate, practice, study, and live. The path to gnosis is sometimes lonely, but never unfulfilling. This is the key to life.

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi

On this day a lost soul was killed. While it's a victory for one side of the conflict, a loss of life is still no victory at all. This man hated us with every ounce of his soul. To be so engrossed in hate is a travesty and one of the great failures of our time. May we pray for those who persecute and hate us.

43Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.
44But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;
45That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
46For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?
47And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?
48Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.

Matthew 5:43-48
King James Version

Know Thyself: Science of Mind

How do you know yourself?

What does this mean?

How could you not know yourself? I know what my favorite foods are, my favorite colors, how I like my eggs cooked in the morning, and what I do for fun. So the question begs: What do you mean, ‘know thyself?’

This isn’t quite as crazy as it may seem, the command here is not to know what you prefer about life, but to know your purpose in life, or to know at your core what you are in relation to the world. It has many levels of meaning. You can go your entire life being completely indulged in things you like to do, eat, smell, touch, taste, and see, but these are only outside qualities of what you know. To truly know yourself, you have to think of the big picture. Think of the universe, and what you are in relation to everything in it. What does such a small person, a tiny life form like you, have to do with the entire universe? What is your purpose?

This is, at the heart of it, the real question. To know yourself is to know your purpose for being. It’s like a drop of water understanding it’s purpose in the ocean. And what is that purpose?

Well, with risk of making things sound way too easy, the purpose of a drop of water in an ocean is that the ocean would be one less drop without it. The drop contributes to the whole. It makes the entirety complete. Therefore, your ultimate purpose is to make the entirety of creation complete. And what better way to do that than to become YOU?

Sounds stupid at first, doesn’t it? Think about it. Let’s take a theological look at this just one second. Taking away from any dogmatic creed of any one religion, let’s say you believe in God, or even Gods. Erase whatever name you have imprinted in your head for this "Divinity," and just accept that there is something there. What does it look like in your mind? Is it a person? Is it a man? Maybe it’s a woman?

Now, whatever you just thought about, erase that image completely. Let’s start from scratch. Let’s just assume, for the time being, that God is harder for us to understand than previously thought. Think of this: God is of no image, no name, no being, no concept, no form, both there and not; transcendent, if you will. Any concept you have of God - no matter how right it may or may not be - isn’t anywhere close to the true Divine. It’s like trying to draw a picture for the blind. We are the blind.

Don’t put a form around it, as this makes limitations. Don’t put a name to it, as this defines forethought. For the time being, we will simply refer to it as the Divine. This Ultimate Divine, Creator of all thought, Beginner of the beginning, is the Ultimate Reality. And within this Reality, lies THIS reality. Since this reality is within the Ultimate Reality, or the Divine, everyone and everything is apart of it. Each galaxy, every star, every planet, every atom – nothing exists outside of the Divine. It is a thought, held together by the will of the Divine. On a more personal level, that means you are a part of that Divine. Every cell, nerve, vein, and thought of yours is apart of this Divine. Without you, the Divine would be less than it is. You’re a drop of water in an ocean.

Hopefully, that’s not too much to take in all at one time. Of course, that might be oversimplifying reality as well. Plenty of questions arise out of the thought process of thinking that we are not separate from the Divine, but actually apart of it. In this thinking, one might assume, every time something or someone dies, a piece of the Divine dies. If we all are apart of the Divine, and without us the Divine would be that much less, then what happens when one of the many living things in this reality dies?

Most science classes will tell you that energy never stops, it simply transfers from one thing to another. In this scenario, picture yourself as a big ball of energy. It shouldn’t be too hard to imagine. The human brain has more electrical currents in the form of impulses going through it each minute than any device you can think of. For every sensation there is another current of electricity sent to the brain. Every thought is accompanied by a message sent all over the body. When you start to walk, you don’t think to yourself "now I’m going to walk," you simply do it. And in that split second, millions of signals get sent through the body from the brain to the muscles to the nerves and whatnot, and then . . . the miracle that is "walking" ensues. The obvious nature of the body is to serve as a tool for us to live with. The body is governed by these impulses and signals, and has no control over them. The body does not decide when to walk, we TELL it to. SO – if the body is not the source of the energy, then what is?

Man has always believed there is something that drives the body. Beyond all physical aspects, there is something "within" that is the actual source of all this life and movement. It has been called many different things, but we will refer to this in particular as the Spirit. From this Spirit comes this seemingly unending supply of energy. It is the source of all life in each person. It is this Spirit within us that transfers from one thing to another, that never remains static. Even though the body might die, or be destroyed, the source of energy remains constant. Energy does not die. And neither does the Spirit.

This Spirit, as complex as it may be, is at the very core of everything, the most ultimate "you" that you can be. When you say, "I am," that’s the part of you that you refer to. This Spirit within you is the REAL you, not your body. Even your sub-conscience realizes this. Notice in everyday speech, that you might say "my head hurts" or "my hand is strong" or even "I’ve got long legs." This sub-conscience mind of yours (which is the Spirit/Soul) is telling you that you are not the body in which you reside. You are saying that your arm, head, hand, or leg belongs to you, not that it IS you. In saying this, you have confirmed yourself that you are a being far more complex than just a body.

It is to this end that we must ask ourselves: who are we?

To know the answer to this is to have Gnosis.

Gnosis For All

Hello All.

The goals of this blog are as follows:

(a) To advance the quest of Gnosis for all parties interested.

(b) To help reach those who need to find a spiritual path.

(c) To discuss and debate various theological topics.

(d) To attempt to bring a Gnostic approach to the world (yes, even politics).

(e) To persuade the spread of Gnostic schools and churches into other areas of the world.


I will attempt to unify the modern day Gnostic ideas and concepts with modern day science, philosophy, and social issues. This site will contain my opinions on matters of...well...everything. :)

Feel free to join in and comment...I welcome all.


Everything expressed on this website is my opinion and does not reflect any official viewpoint of any church, organization, or individual unless otherwise stated.