Gnosis of the Child

Life as I know it is different now.

My new baby boy has brought so many new - maybe not new, but more enhanced - emotions and feelings into my atmosphere as of late. I never knew that I could love some other person quite as much as I do; an even deeper love than I feel for even myself.

Through the sleepless nights thus far (and the many to come), I realize that I don't take care of this little guy because I have to, but rather, because I feel impelled to. I feel no sense of "obligation" per se, but a more dignified sense of "want" as I watch my son scream his head off; I want to take care of him, to nurture him, and to raise him. And the scary part is that he's only a couple of weeks old.

I have to admit that there is a certain amount of uncertainty, an uneasy feeling that I don't know how well I'll do in raising this child, or even knowing how many mistakes I'll make (and I am quite sure I'll make more than a few mistakes). But these concerns are far outweighed by the buildup of pride I have for this beautiful child, my adoring son.

These feelings have left me to wander the halls of my thoughts, as of late. The love that I feel - through no force - for him almost seems to mirror to me a spiritual resonance. If I can love this child whom I've only held in my arms for two weeks now as much as I do, how much more so can the Divine share His love with the creation that has formed from His own love?

I feel a close connection in three ways right now, as I feel that I'm on the brink of an epiphany. I strongly feel my late father's love for me, through either my memories or a fine resonance that's left of him. I strongly feel the same protective love for my son that I felt from my dad - never being scared when I was around him (and hoping my son never feels scared around me). And these two, coupled, enhance the emotive waves I have felt with the Divine - hopefully, opening my own consciousness to newer spiritual levels.

The birth of my son has brought me here, to this path.. I only hope I can teach him to seek his path, and more than that - how to walk that path.